TW: Animal Abuse

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Messenger
Baby Namin Si Kiran 👼

Ziah:
kaibigan nyo pa rin ba ako
kung nag-beg ako for sex

Kiran:
????

Lotte:
Sino ka at bakit
nasa gc ka namin?

Ziah:
🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Kiran:
hala, ang saya
proud ka pa talaga nag-beg ka 😹

Ziah:
seven ⭕️

Kiran:
seven?

Ziah:
rounds

Lotte:
Sana multuhin kayo ni Tita

but knowing her—baka proud pa siyang magaling ka sa ride ryker na larangan 😊

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Chapter 32

My whole body was particularly, there was a searing pain in between my legs but the comfort of someone around me made me feel at ease. I snuggled into his chest as the sun was slowly rising. Matapos kong ibalita ang katangahan ko sa mga kaibigan ko ay bumalik ako sa bisig ni Ryker.

My eyes fluttered open as soon as the sun's light cascaded on Ryker's face. He was sleeping peacefully, like it was the first real sleep that he had after all the sleepless nights that he endured. Mas humigpit ang yakap n'ya nang maramdaman ang bahagyang paggalaw ko.

"Mahal kita," he whispered as his nose touched my hair. "Sobrang mahal na mahal kita."

My lips were tightly shut but in response, I let my bare skin touch him closely. Hinayaan ko muna ang sarili ko na langhapin ang amoy n'ya. Ryker didn't say anything but only planted small kisses on my shoulder blades up to my neck.

At that moment, all I ever wanted was to be trapped in his arms. I want him to control the next steps that we'll take. I want him to invade my space. I want him to own me. . .as much as he was mine.

Nagising na lang ako na halos tanghalian na. Ryker was cooking something in the kitchen because I could smell the whiff of bacon and eggs in the air as soon as I was able to go outside my room.

I was wearing one of my old t-shirts. Malaki ito sa akin kamay naman umabot hanggang sa itaas ng tuhod ko. Dahan-dahan akong pumasok ng kusina habang ramdam ang init ng aking pisngi.

"I had to go outside to buy some food," sabi ni Ryker kahit hindi pa lumilingon sa akin. "Bakit walang laman ang refrigerator mo?"

I scoffed at him as soon as I sat on the chair. Agad na lumapit si Ryzi sa akin upang dilaan ang aking hita. I petted him as soon as I saw his fur.

"I didn't question your kitchen before," sabi ko sa kan'ya. "Kaya bakit mo tatanungin kung bakit walang laman ang refrigerator ko?"

Masyado kasi akong busy upang bumili ng grocery. Nanghihinayang lang din ako kapag nabubulok ang mga pinapamili ko. I couldn't even buy a loaf of bread because I couldn't finish it all in a week. Umaalpas ang hapdi at kirot sa akin kapag naaalala ko na wala na akong kasabay kumain.

"Kumakain ako kina Mama at Papa," Ryker responded. Humarap na siya upang ilapag ang niluto n'yang ulam. "I wanted to serve something healthy but the wet market is far. Sa malapit na tindahan lang ako bumili. But. . .I bought some extra food that you can cook."

Tumango ako. "Salamat."

"P'wede ka rin sa condo ko na lang kumain kung gusto mo," he offered. Umupo na siya sa harapang upuan na bakante. He grabbed my plate to put some food in it.

"Ayoko," I snickered and glanced at him. "Baka mamaya ay may kasama ka na namang babae eh."

"Huh?" he sneered right back at me. "Ikaw nga may binilhan ka ng condom, wala ka namang narinig sa akin?"

"Tanga ka talaga," naiiritang sabi ko sa kan'ya. "Ikaw lang yung lalaking binilhan ko ng condom. Yung kay Kiran, pinabili lang n'ya at utang pa nga. Sa iba n'ya yun gagamitin, hindi sa akin!"

I saw how his face slowly went red. Nagpipigil siya ng ngiti. "Weh, totoo ba?"

"Oo nga!"

"Bale yung isang pack doon, para lang sa akin?" Ngiti n'ya na para bang batang napagbigyan.

"Oo!" naiiritang sabat ko. "Kahit ubusin mo pa, sa 'yo lang 'yon! Kaya tigilan mo na nga si Kiran. Baka kanina pa iyon nabibilaukan dahil siya ang topic natin! Ang aga, ha!"

I bet he had this competitive streak because he's an achiever. Palaging ang tingin n'ya ay competition ang lahat na kailangan siya ang numero uno. He doesn't even have to compete. . .because he really has me. He didn't need to prove it to anyone. Aminado na nga ako sa mga tropa ko sa nangyari sa aming dalawa.

He scoffed then pouted his lips. "Di ako nagseselos. . .alam ko naman na gusto mo ako kahit gan'yan ka."

"Anong gan'yan ka?" ulit ko sa sinabi n'ya. He placed the plate in front of me. Kumuha na rin siya ng tubig mula sa pitcher at nilagyan ang baso ko.

"You don't want to admit that you love me," wika n'ya sa mababang tono. "Pero ramdam ko na mahal mo ako."

"Buti naman—"

"With the way you put your legs on my shoulders last night? Grabeng love language iyon, Ziah," his smile tugged on his lips.

Agad na umawang ang labi ko bago tuluyang nag-init ang pisngi. "Nakakainis ka talaga kahit kailan!"

"Kumain ka na muna," he said briefly. "I want to talk to you about us. I can no longer stay still and pretend that I'm okay with this set up, Ziah."

"What set up?" tanong ko at kumuha na ng bacon at kanin gamit ng kutsara. Ngumuya na muna ako bago lumingon sa kan'ya.

"Gusto kita ligawan," he said in a small voice. "It's my first time. . .so I might not be the best at it. Pero gusto ko na ako ang pinakamagugustuhan mong mangliligaw."

"Ry. . ."

"If. . .you're not comfortable with courting yet, kaya naman kita hintayin," apila n'ya sa akin. "Mas gugustuhin ko iyon kaysa sa iniiwasan mo ako, Ziah."

I started to slice my bacon as I was processing his words. Mahal ko na si Ryker. I want to be with him as well. What's stopping me from letting myself be involved with me?

Paano nga naman kung masaktan ako? Pero. . .paano naman kung di ko na mararanasan ang mahalin ng isang Ryker Adeva?

My throat felt like it was being squeezed. Hindi ako makapagsalita agad dahil hindi ko alam paano sasabihin sa kan'ya na okay lang kahit hindi na siya mangligaw. Na okay lang kung dederetso na kaming dalawa bilang magkasintahan.

"Pagiisipan ko," I murmured as I munched on my food. "Kumain ka na muna, Ry."

He had a soft smile on his lips. His eyes were smiling as well. Nakababa ang kan'yang buhok at halos hilamos lang yata ang ginawa n'ya pero gwapong-gwapo na agad ang mga mata ko sa kan'ya.

Buntis yata ako! Oh no?! Joke lang.

Natawa ako sa sarili kong biro. Impossible iyon dahil hindi naman ako pumapayag na walang proteksyon. I wasn't dumb enough to let him come inside me either. I wasn't prepared to be a mother yet and I didn't want another Princess Aziah who doesn't know where she stands in this world—that was my only dream, to not let another child be abandoned by her own optimism in this world.

Matapos kumain ay dumaldal pa nang dumaldal si Ryker sa akin. Kulang ang oras sa mga kwento n'ya. He missed me terribly, if I may add. Halata dahil parang nasa ika-apat na pahina pa lang kami ng mga kwento n'ya no'ng mga panahon na hindi kami nagpapansinan—correction, hindi n'ya ako pinapansin.

"You didn't mind if I had other girls?" tanong ni Ryker sa akin. "Hindi ka man lang nagselos? Kasi kung oo ay magso-sorry agad ako."

"Hindi," nagtaas ako ng kilay sa akin. "Ang bobo mo naman kung gagamit ka ng ibang babae para kalimutan ako."

Ryker's entire face blanched upon hearing that statement from me. "Hindi ah. But I was really trying to move on. No'ng pumunta ka ng condo, may naiwan lang talaga yung babae sa lobby. We didn't go to my unit. You're the only girl who's been there."

"Yung babae?" I hissed at him.

"Nakalimutan ko na yung pangalan," he shrugged off, guilt etched on his face. "She was cool. Hindi rin naman siya seryoso sa akin dahil buong araw yata ay pinaguusapan lang namin bakit di n'ya deserve na iwan siya ng ex n'ya at pinagpalit sa kan'yang co-worker ba iyon? Honestly, I won't recommend date hopping to anyone. Kaya sa akin ka na lang, Ziah."

He playfully wiggled his eyebrows, ang mga mata ay nanatiling singkit habang malawak ang ngiti. He always looked playful to me. I know Ryker is hot when he tries to keep his face intact; pero mas gwapo siya kapag natural ang ngiti n'ya.

"I miss you," sabi ko sa kan'ya habang nakatitig sa kan'yang mga mata.

"Sabi ni Ryzi?" He teased me.

"Sabi ni Princess," tumayo ako upang bigyan siya ng isang halik sa pisngi. "I'm glad we're talking again, Ryker."

His chest heaved. "I'm glad that I'm back in your life again. Ziah. And I don't plan on leaving again."

Unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti sa aking labi. Those words felt like bandages to my wounded heart.

I was ready to welcome him to my world. Handa na akong aminin na mahal ko siya. Kaya ko na lunukin ang mga salitang sinabi ko laban sa kan'ya. I was preparing myself to get hurt if it means that I'll be able to heal the unexpected wounds that may come with his unrelenting adoration.

Hindi ko pala kaya.

Hindi ko kaya na madamay siya.

"Ryzi?" I called him as soon as I got home. Tinatanggal ko pa lang ang sapatos ko pero bumabangon ang kaba sa aking dibdib nang wala akong naririnig na tahol.

Nasa bakasyon kasi ang kapitbahay namin. Ryker volunteered to take care of Ryzi but he had to secure his respondents for his thesis paper so I managed to tell him that I'll come home early. Hindi na n'ya kailangan pang bantayan dahil makakauwi naman agad ako.

"Ryzi! Ryzi!" daing ko habang hinahalughog ang buong bahay. I couldn't stay still, I fear that I forgot to lock the door. Pero alam ko. . .alam kong di kong nakalimutan i-lock at kung sakali man ay hindi lalabas si Ryzi nang hindi bumabalik.

Paano kung may dumampot sa kan'ya? Paano kung nasagasaan? Paano kung. . .my mind was in a haywired of thundering thoughts. Ang bilis ng mga iniisip kong scenario at hindi pa magaganda.

"Arf. . ." a dog's whimper made me look in its direction. Dali-dali akong tumakbo patungo sa bakuran. Of course! There was a backyard! Malamang ay doon lang pupunta si Ryzi!

I bolted as soon as I heard Ryzi's helpless whimper. Ang ine-expect ko ay baka nasaktan ito, a bug bit him or something. Baka nagasgasan ng bato.

My hands were shaking as soon as I stumbled upon my dog. Ryzi was helplessly laying down on the grass while his entire body was covered in bruises. Duguan si Ryzi nang makita ko.

Para akong binuhusan ng tubig mula sa yelo nang makita siya sa ganoong kalagayan. Halos manginig ang buong katawan ko habang dali-dali ko siyang nilapitan. My entire hands were shaking as his blood stained my white uniform. Halos magmukhang red ang damit ko sa dami ng dugong nilalabas ng katawan n'ya.

"Arf. . ." Ryzi still smiled at me despite the exhilarating pain that he must have gone through. It was as if he was happy to see me—to know that he wasn't abandoned entirely.

"R-ryzi. . .wait lang ha?" mangiyak-ngiyak kong saad sa kan'ya. "Dito k-ka lang ha? Huwag mo ako sukuan. . ."

Hindi ako mapakali habang kinakapa ang cellphone ko. I have to call someone. I have to make sure that these wounds won't cause Ryzi to suffer anymore! Halos hindi makakilos si Ryzi dahil tadtad siya ng sugat. . .na halatang sadya at may halong gigil.

How could someone do this to a small dog like Ryzi? To a harmless dog who is scared of a mere bug? At sa bakuran ko pa?

My entire face automatically went white. Sa bakuran ko. . .ibig sabihin ay nakakapasok siya ng bahay ko?

I looked around and my heart almost burst out in rage and in fear. Halos kumuyumos ang buong kamao ko dahil sa nabasa sa pinto bago makapasok sa bakuran.

The door had a lot of words written using the ink of blood. Nakasulat doon ang pangalan ni mama, ni Ryzi, si Lotte, Kiran, at si Ryker ang may pinakamalaking space na okupado.

Para akong masusuka. My entire stomach bubbled up vomit as soon as I realized what it was trying to imply. Iniisa-isa n'ya ang mga taong mahalaga sa akin. It was trying to harm every person that I love.

Maybe the world had a cruel punishment for me. . .I was afraid of loving the people who loved me. . .so my punishment must be this—my love for them would be their greatest demise.

"Arf. . ." Ryzi whimpered in pain. Nanginginig ang buong kamay ko habang pilit na may tinatawagan

"Ryzi naman," my eyes started to produce big tears. "Huwag naman pati ikaw. . ."

Please. . .not him.

Ryzi only smiled at me as if he was urging me to let him go. To let him run free. My tears trailed down my cheeks.

"Hindi m-mo na ba kaya?" I asked him in a small tone. "Gusto mo lang ba makita na. . .kaya ko kung wala ka?" nangangatog ang boses ko.

Ryzi was looking at me with his eyes slowly closing. It was as if he was just waiting for me to tell him. . .he can go now. He just needed the assurance that I'll be fine without him.

I smiled at him and kissed the top of his head. "It's okay, Ryzi. K-kakayanin ko para sa 'yo. Y-you. . .can rest now. Mahal kita, Ryzi."