Chapter 23
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Ryker Adeva shared a post
tanginang mushroom to, buti ka nga tol minahal ka eh. naranasan mo na ba masabihan na proud siya sayo pero di ka naman nya mahal? na inalagaan ka pero in the end ikaw lang pala may amats sa kanya? eh gago ka palang mushroom ka ang kapal ng mukha mong magtampo kung di naman pala.
i love cute things
3d • 🌎
Most relevant ⌄
Eastre Zaguirre
Oh no 🥺 our divorced parents 💔
↪️ Iscaleon Altreano
Huh? Paanong divorce? Eh wala pa nga.
↪️ Eastre Zaguirre
Ah? Haha, wala pa ba? Akala ko divorce na eh.
↪️ Iscaleon Altreano
Di naman naging sila eh.
↪️ Ryker Adeva
tangina mo, cal. 😀
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Chapter 23
You don't have to be a slave of your past; you can have a better future. Yet, what if your roots are the reason why you can't seem to move forward to a better path? If I had a better upbringing. . .would trusting someone be as easy as how they portray it?
"You don't trust him. . .and in spite of how loving he can be, his negative traits are always highlighted," sabi sa akin ni Kiran habang naglalaro kami ng Tic-Tac-Toe.
"Kilala mo ba si Ryker!? At bakit mo siya pinagtatanggol?" I hissed at Kiran while putting a quick 'x' on the paper. Naka-3 points na siya pero wala pa akong score!
"Napansin ko lang," Kiran shrugged off, then blocked my strategy by drawing a small '0' next to my 'x'. Hindi ko alam kung bobo lang ba ako sa laro o talagang magaling lang siya rito.
"He's not entirely bad," I sighed as I looked at our paper. I'm losing this game terribly. "Kung may di man matino sa aming dalawa, ako yata iyon."
The thing was, mas na-a-appreciate ko si Ryker ngayong hindi kami masyado naguusap. It was as if my fear of intimacy was being doused off by the lack of his presence. It was an ironic way of showing how I really feel about it. Kapag malayo siya sa akin, doon ko nakikita yung halaga n'ya.
"Yes naman," Kiran chuckled then squinted his eyes at me despite having a small smile on his lips. "That's our self aware queen!"
Tangina nito, eh.
Tumagos ang masamang tingin ko sa kan'ya. Sandali ko pa lang kilala si Kiran pero mas prangka siya magsalita kumpara kay Lotte. However, he still keeps his elegant way of speaking intact despite spewing a few curses here and there.
"I don't think I'm capable of loving him," pag-amin ko. "I don't think I'm capable of loving anyone."
"Or that's just your defense mechanism against being hurt? Kasi para sa 'yo ay love equals being in pain?" Lotte popped out in the back of Kiran. Kakagaling lang n'ya sa counter. Nasa isang burger joint kami ngayon dahil nagutom si Lotte.
Lotte ordered two cheeseburgers and two sodas. Kiran. . .had a sweet tooth. Ang in-order n'ya ay isang pancake na may mapple syrup. It's already almost 12 a.m. so I'm a bit confused by his order. Tubig lang din ang in-order n'ya bilang inumin. Nagpapatanggal lang yata sila ng pagkalasing dahil kahit paano ay uminom silang dalawa; I stayed true to my words and avoided any alcoholic beverage tonight.
"Charlotte, itong kaibigan mo parang tanga," Kiran said while effortlessly winning another round of our game. "Paikot-ikot na lang tayo ng usapan at ayaw n'ya pang aminin na hindi naman sa dahil di n'ya mahal si Ryker—it's more of trying to escape the inevitable course of feelings she has for him."
"Di ko nga mahal," I sighed. "I just think he's the first person that made me vulnerable for a second."
Lumingon si Kiran kay Lotte. "Kahit yata mag-end of the world, hindi talaga siya aamin. Mas maigi pang pride na lang n'ya ang pakasalan n'ya sa huli."
Lotte rolled her eyes and playfully smacked the back of my head. Agad akong napahawak dito at umurong dahil napalakas ang hampas n'ya sa akin. My eyes glared at her, almost slicing her with my annoyance.
"Anong Charlotte ka d'yan, Conjuanco!? Tangina mo talaga," Lotte said to Kiran then turned her attention to me. "Ikaw naman, Florencio! Umamin ka na lang kasi na mahal mo. Bubukaka ka ba roon kung kahit crush ay di mo man lang naramdaman sa kan'ya!?"
"Fuck buddies lang kami!" giit ko.
"May fuck buddies bang binahay!?" akusa sa akin ni Lotte. "At may aso pa kayong bunga!? Naku, Ziah! Ilang percent na lang itong pasensya ko sa 'yo, umamin ka na lang kasi na mahal mo rin! Hindi ka kikidlatan, promise!"
I bit my lower lip as I've struggled to dismiss her claims. Kaya ko aminin sa sarili ko na mahal ko si Ryker; but for others to know about it? It's a different story! It's a hard story to tell!
Tumango si Kiran, he started to slice his pancakes. "Maybe you should tell Ryker about it. Kung mahal ka n'ya, maiintindihan n'yang mahirap para sa 'yo ang isang relasyon. Hindi naman ibig sabihin na porke't may tendency kang ipagtabuyan ang mga nagmamahal sa 'yo ay di ka na p'wede magmahal. It will be a hard situation but nonetheless still not impossible to overcome."
Unti-unti akong napatango. Will he be able to forgive me? Paano ako babawi sa kan'ya? I pushed him out of my life just to ask him to come back again? Kahit sino ay malilito sa akin!
Matapos namin kumain ay nagkayayaan na kami na umuwi. I was in the parking lot already. . .waiting for Kiran and Lotte to come out from the burger joint. Nagulat ako nang mapagtantuan na may taong nakatitig sa akin mula sa malayo.
My skin prickled as soon as her eyes bore into me. Pakiramdam ko ay may ginawa akong masama sa kan'ya. She was an old woman, her eyes kept on blinking as if she was trying to make sure that I won't be out of her sight.
"Uwi na ako," paalam ko kina Kiran at Lotte nang makalabas na sila at sinalubong ako. Kiran extended his hand, and there was a take out for me.
"Busog na ako," I declined.
"You didn't eat," he sighed. "Masyado."
Umangat ang kilay ko sa kan'ya. It was true that I barely ate my food because I was engrossed with our game. Hindi ko inaakala na magiging big deal para sa kan'ya iyon.
Kinuha ko na ang take out mula sa kan'ya. Ngumiti ako ngunit hindi na n'ya iyon sinuklian. He's sweet, huh? Like a younger brother that wants your attention but also despises you? Para kasing palagi siyang iritado pero mabait naman siya sa amin ni Lotte. Hindi naman n'ya siguro kami sasamahan nang ganito ka-late kung di siya mabuti.
"Sure ka bang mag-commute ka? Gabi na?" Lotte asked, her eyebrows dipped in a frown.
Tumango ako. "Magkaibang direksyon tayo eh. Iikot pa kayo para lang ihatid ako."
"I don't mind," sabi ni Kiran. "Kaysa umuwi ka nang mag-isa. Gabi na, tanga."
"Tangina mo," sambit ko kay Kiran.
He cutely stucked out his tongue. "Sabagay, sa liit mong 'yan? Duda akong makikita ka ng ibang tao. Baka mag-tabi-tabi po sila dahil akalain nilang duwende ka."
He was towering over us. Baka nga. . .mas matangkad pa siya kay Ryker. He was lean though, kaya bumagay naman sa kan'ya ang tangkad n'ya. Ryker was a bit of a gym rat so he was more muscular.
"Mas gugustuhin kong umuwi nang mag-isa kaysa malait buong byahe, Kiran," I sneered at him. Lumingon ako kay Lotte. "Mag-ingat ka, Charlotte."
Ngumiwi si Lotte. "Ikaw rin, Princess. Huwag kang hahalik ng palaka sa daan, ha?"
Umirap ako dahil talo na naman ako. Para akong ginisa sa sarili kong mantika kapag kausap itong si Lotte, bumibilis ang karma sa akin, eh!
Hinatid na ni Kiran si Lotte dahil nawalan na raw siya ng tama. Wala naman din kasing naging heavy drinker sa amin kanina. Pero kung marunong lang akong mag-drive, hindi ko talaga hahayaan na siya ang magmaneho. It was a reckless and risky thing to do.
Naghintay na ako ng jeep malapit sa mga sakayan. Napakurap ako nang mapansin na may papalapit sa akin na babae. The old woman took her steps carefully as she snucked herself behind me.
"Saan ka uuwi, 'neng?" tanong n'ya sa akin. She sounded friendly. . .but I was always cautious with others. Lumayo ako sa kan'ya ng ilang pulgada. Minabuti ko na huwag siyang pansinin.
"Saan ka uuwi?" pangungulit n'ya. She sounded. . .alarmed which also made my pulse race. Bakit ba n'ya ako kinakausap?
"D'yan lang po," I dismissed her, not even lifting my lips to smile. Geez, kung budol-budol ba ito—ano bang makukuha n'ya sa akin? Wallet na unang buklat pa lang ay buhangin na agad ang bubungad dahil matagal na itong walang laman?
Sumakay agad ako nang may makitang signage ng lugar kung saan ako sumasakay kadalasan. The old woman, despite her weak posture, went in as well which made me shiver.
"Saan po kayo bababa?" striktang tanong ko dahil ayokong uunahan n'ya akong manakot.
"Kung saan ka baba," direktang sagot ng matanda. "Hija, may sumusunod kasi sa 'yo."
"Po?!" I shrieked. I wasn't into the paranormal stuff! Gabi na rin pero hindi ako natatakot mag-commute noon!
Luminga-linga pa siya na para bang may hinahagilap siya ng kan'yang paningin. Napabuntonghininga siya nang tuluyan dahil mukhang wala na sa paligid ang nakasunod sa akin.
"Kanina no'ng nasa fast food kayo, may lalaking sumusunod sa 'yo," she said. "Sinusundan kita kanina ng tingin dahil sinisindak ko siya. Ang mga kaibigan mo ay nasa loob kaya naman natakot ako na baka bigla kang hatakin! Pasensya na kung natakot ka sa akin. . .pero mag-ingat ka. Magpasundo ka mamaya sa gate n'yo o kung saan man."
I nodded after hearing her side. Nagtatahip ang puso ko sa narinig. I have a hunch on who that person could be. Pero. . .bakit hindi na n'ya ako tinatantanan? He was a leech that I couldn't kill! He sucks my energy, honestly! Pakiramdam ko ay kahit anong gawin ko ngayon. . .he'll be there.
My steps were slow and unsteady because of what the old woman just told me. A part of me wants to go to a nearby convenience store, magpalipas lang ng oras. Hindi ko kasi alam kung nasa bahay na si Mama. Even in my own home, I feel invaded and unsafe.
Wala akong nagawa kung hindi umuwi. Wala rin kasing mauupuan sa malapit na convenience store sa may kanto namin. Sarado na rin ang mga tindahan. It was almost already morning. . .baka naman nakauwi na si Mama?
Papalapit na ako sa gate nang may humatak sa aking palapulsuhan. Nilingon ko ito at handa ko na sana itong hampasin ng bag ko nang hawakan n'ya ako.
"K-Kiran!?" I gasped as I saw his figure.
"Sorry. . .kung sinundan kita," seryosong sambit n'ya. He sighed and massaged his temples using one of his hands. "Parang gago kasi bakit ka uuwi mag-isa?"
I hissed at him. "Fuck off! Tinakot mo ako! Pati tuloy yung isang matanda ay natakot sa 'yo! Akala siguro ay may stalker ako!"
Nagtatahip ang puso ko sa kaba. Baka nga si Kiran ang inakala ng matandang babae na sumusunod sa akin. . .pero ang sabi n'ya ay alam n'yang may kasama ako at maaaring nakita na n'ya ang mukha ni Kiran.
Edi sino ang sumusunod sa akin kung gano'n nga?
Kumunot ang noo n'ya. He bit his lower lip then cussed under his breath. "Actually, that's the point. May sumusunod kasi sa 'yo kanina pa. Hindi ko alam kung sino kaya. . .pagkatapos kong ihatid si Lotte ay sinundan na rin kita."
"M-may sumusunod sa akin?" Napalunok ako. Para bang may bumarang kung ano sa lalamunan ko. I looked around and only saw some flickering lights from the lamp posts and the sound of moths near the area where the long grasses were placed.
"Yeah—"
"Anong ginagawa mo kay Aziah!?" Someone shouted from afar. Nilingon namin ito at nakita ang namumulang mukha ni Kio habang papalapit siya kay Kiran.
He positioned himself as if he was a boxer; agad n'yang nilapat ang kamao n'ya sa mukha ni Kiran pero naka-iwas ito. Kiran swiftly kicked him in the knee which made Kio fall flat on the ground.
"Putangina? Bakit ka sasapak kung lampa ka!?" Kiran mocked Kio who was helplessly on the ground.
My whole face blanched. Pinagtagpi-tagpi ko ang mga pangyayari. This asshole! Siya ang sumusunod sa akin!
"Ano sa tingin mo ang ginagawa mo!?" sigaw ko kay Kio.
"Prinoprotektahan kita sa kan'ya! He's one of the people who will only use your loneliness to sleep with you!" naiiyak na sabi ni Kio. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was covered in fury.
Kiran's jaw clenched and he rolled his eyes. "Tangina ka, hindi ko naman type si Ziah! Ang bilis mo naman bumuo ng kwento sa utak mo? Parang gago?!"
He glared at Kiran almost immediately. "Manahimik ka! Ang mga tulad mo ay sasaktan lang si Ziah! I would protect her from the likes of you!"
"Shut up!" sigaw ko kay Kio. "Bwisit ka! Tantanan mo na ako! Wala na kami ni Ryker. Lumayo na ako sa kan'ya! Can you leave me the fuck alone!?"
Suminghap si Kio. "Oo! Wala na kayo ni Ryker! Pero hindi ka pa rin sa akin! Naghanap ka agad ng lalaki! Gusto mo ba talagang ipagkalat ko ang video ni Ryker—" he held his phone up to threaten me.
Kiran grabbed his phone as soon as he raised it up. Mabilis itong nakuha ni Kiran dahil matangkad siya. Binagsak n'ya ito at dahan-dahan tinapak-tapakan. Pinung-pino na itong nakakalat sa semento.
Kio's ear shattering screech made me tremble on my own feet. Halatang hindi n'ya inaasahan ang gagawin ni Kiran! Kahit naman ako! Tangina rin talaga nitong si Kiran!
"Hala. . .sorry," Kiran looked at him coldly. "Nabagsak ko. Palitan ko na lang, ha? Ang problema lang. . .did you back up your files?"
Namutla si Kio at para siyang pinanawan ng kulay sa buong mukha.
Kiran smiled at him, his eyes turning to slits as if he was a cat. "Nauna kang maging masama kaysa maging matalino; ang tanga lang?"
"No. . .no. . ." Kio was crying as he started to pick up the pieces of his phone.
"Stop disturbing, Ziah," sabi ni Kiran. "Sa susunod ay sa presinto na ang bagsak mo. Don't worry, papalitan ko naman ang cellphone mo. The files, however, are all gone."
Umangat ang tingin ni Kio sa akin. His eyes were red in wrath. "Akin lang si Ziah! It doesn't change a thing! She chose me!"
Lumingon sa akin si Kiran. "Grabe, gano'n ka ba kaganda? At bakit parang hibang na itong isang ito sa 'yo?"
"Shut up!" I hissed at him. Lumingon ako kay Kio. Napabuntonhininga ako. "Tumigil ka na. This is my final warning. You creeped me out. Sorry kung umasa ka sa akin. Sorry kung pinaramdam ko sa 'yo na gusto kita. Pero Kio? You're tormenting me. You're making me feel uncomfortable. And if you think that's love? You need to re-align your thinking; because clearly, love doesn't have to make others uncomfortable."
"Ziah. . .mahal mo ako," Kio welped.
"Hindi," direktang sagot ko. "Kung may mahal man ako. . .kilala mo kung sino iyon."
"Ziah, kakakilala lang natin," Kiran faked a gasp. "Huwag ka naman ma-in love agad sa akin, bata pa ako at marami pa akong pangarap sa buhay."
I glared at him. "Tangina mo, hindi ikaw!"
Kio started to throw away the pieces of his phone. Para siyang batang nagwawala ngayon. "Pagsisisihan mo! Magsisisi ka! You will regret that you didn't love me!"
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