Chapter 14

"So pretty. . ." Ryker carefully combed the strands and adjusted the heat of the curler as it touched my hair. "My pretty baby."

"Bilisan mo naman!"

"First time ko lang magkulot," Ryker said, ang hinhin ng tono. "This is not me making love to you! I cannot do it faster, babe!"

"Ryker!" saway ko sa kan'ya.

Humaba ang nguso ko habang pinapakiramdaman ang pagkulot n'ya sa buhok ko. My hair was almost short, probably mid-length already. Mahirap ito kulutin pero itong si Ryker ay ayaw magpapigil.

He kept giving me those puppy eyes that I couldn't resist. Hindi ko alam kung anong gayuma ang binigay n'ya sa akin at napapayan ako pero nang makita ko na may binili siyang curler at nasa 34,000 php ang presyo. . .hindi ko na nagawang tumanggi.

Naaawa naman ako kung sarili n'yang buhok ang kukulutin n'ya! Eh halos hanggang tainga nga lang ang haba nito. I scoffed to myself; I kept on making excuses but I know that the butterflies in my stomach are now swooping with greed. They all want his affection. They yearn for Ryker's attention as well. And currently, the butterflies in my stomach are well-fed.

"Thank you sa pagpayag," he beamed. "You're pretty with these curls. Kaya ba ayaw mong makitang kulot ka kasi alam mong dadami kaagaw ko sa 'yo?"

I snickered at him. "I never looked good in my curly hair. Pareho kayo ni Mama."

"Kulot din ba Mama mo?"

Napalunok ako. "She curls her hair for me. Pero nagpapa-rebond ako para hindi na siya mag-effort magpakulot pa. Si. . .yung side talaga ng tatay ko yung may mga kulot."

"Your father must have been proud that you got this from him, huh?"

"Can you just fuck me and stop talking?" iritableng sabi ko sa kan'ya. His mouth sometimes doesn't know what proper words to say! Sa kalandian lang magaling eh.

Humalakhak si loko habang pinapanood ang unti-unting pagkulot ng buhok ko. This asshole even bought some heat protector spray for my hair! Naramdaman ko kasi ang pag-spray n'ya nito sa buhok ko. Pero sa ginagamit n'yang curler ngayon ay parang hindi naman kailangan, I couldn't even feel the heat at all.

I craned my neck to match his movements. Iniiwas ko ang mapaso ng curler pero hindi naman ito sobrang init. Ryker is also careful so I guess I should relax a bit.

"You know. . .parang hindi ako takot makilala papa mo," he said while twirling my hair with his fingers. "Because I know I'll take good care of his daughter."

"Di mo naman kailangan matakot sa kan'ya," sabi ko. "Wala naman na siya eh."

His lips pulled apart and a look of shame coasted over his face. "I'm sorry, I didn't know. Condolence. . .siguro?"

"Yes," I nodded my head. "May he rest in peace kahit buhay pa siya."

"Huh?" His eyebrows rose up.

"Wala na akong papa, nangabilang bahay na siya."

The silence reigned between us. Hindi ko alam kung bakit siya biglang nanahimik. Maybe because he thought that talking about it would make things awkward for me. Hindi n'ya alam ay sanay na ako. The look on their faces. . .the pity. . .the shame. . .the loathing. . .kabisado ko na ang mga linyang sasabihin nila at ang isasagot ko.

His lips touched my cheeks as soon as he stopped curling my hair. Inabutan n'ya ako ng salamin at nakita ko roon ang ginawa n'ya sa buhok ko. For the first time in my life, I actually like my curls.

"My pretty baby," Ryker whispered to my ears. "Ako na lang ang daddy mo ha?"

"Fuck you," I hissed as my cheeks were covered in heat.

He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around me. Ramdam ko kung gaano ka-firm ang biceps n'ya kaya naman natahimik ako bigla. I was sitting in between his legs.

"I hope you don't blame yourself for your situation. . ." Ryker tightly held me in his arms. "You're the only good thing that your father did, Ziah. Hindi ka pagkakamali ng kahit sino, okay? I'm actually grateful that your parents had sex because I have the most beautiful girl in my arms right now."

My heart was racing as those words echoed inside my mind. Lahat ng tao sa paligid ko. . .pagkakamali ang tingin sa akin. Only Ryker and my mother were the ones who think that I'm not a mistake.

"Thank you, Ryker. . ." I said in a small voice.

"No need to say thank you," he started to kiss my neck. "It's only the truth, babe."

"Bolero. . ."

He chuckled against my skin. Ngiting-ngiti si loko. Ang gwapo n'ya talaga. What sets Ryker aside from my usual boys is he's conventionally pretty. Madalas ako makipaglaro sa mga babaero rin pero ang mga nagiging boyfriend ko ay mga nerd kadalasan. I have a thing for smart guys, I guess. Ang madalas na rason ng break up ko sa mga lalaki na iyon ay dahil sinasakal nila ako sa mga rules nila.

I know being in a relationship means being considerate of your partner's feelings. Pero kung pati sa pananamit ko, sa pananalita ko, at sa mga lugar na pupuntahan ko ay pagbabawalan ako, sana di na lang sila nag-girlfriend! Nag-anak na lang sila ng babae!

Ryker was the only exception. Siya lang yung matalinong babaerong nakilala ko. He's goodlooking and smart. He also doesn't mind my short skirts and sleeveless crop tops. Naglalaway pa nga si loko! Tuwang-tuwa kapag naga-ayos ako. . .lalo na kapag para sa kan'ya.

Ang swerte ng magiging girlfriend n'ya kung sakali. Kung magiging matino lang sana siya sa relasyon; he's already the epitome of perfection.

"Aziah lang ba name mo?" tanong ni Ryker sa akin habang ang mukha ay nakasilip sa akin.

"Oo na hindi. . ."

"Oo? Na hindi?" His forehead knotted in confusion.

"Sinunod kasi ni Mama yung sinabi sa kan'ya dati ng tatay ko na magandang pangalan."

"Maganda naman Aziah ah?" His lips looked so pretty. Nakatitig lang ako sa labi n'ya. His lips were not too thick, medyo manipis nga ito pero. . .ang sarap-sarap halikan.

"Ziah?" he repeated, cutting my trance abruptly.

Napatikhim ako at napapikit ng mga mata. "Princess."

He squinted his eyes and looked at me with disbelief. "Princess?"

"Princess Aziah Florencio," I told him my full name in spite. Tarantadong labi kasi iyan! Na-distract ako masyado!

He gathered air inside his mouth as if trying to contain his laughter. Siniko ko nga sa tagiliran! It backfired immediately because his chest was hard. Halatang dumadalaw sa gym eh.

"Subukan mong tumawa, Miguel," I snarled at him.

"Di ah," he coughed. "Di ako natatawa, Princess. . .putangina." Bumunghalit ang tawa n'ya, it echoed through the room. Tawang-tawa ang hayop!

"Nakakainis!"

"Okay lang, maganda ka pa rin naman, Princess Fiona," tumango-tango pa siya habang nagpipigil ng tawa.

"Shut up, Shrek Miguel!" asar-talong sambit ko. Pero tumawa lang siya, halata na ako lang ang naiinis sa aming dalawa!

"Hmm. . .my princess is so pretty," paglalambing n'ya.It doused my wrath immediately. Ang namumuong galit ay napalitan ng kilig.

Napanguso ako dahil pinipigilan ko ang mapangiti. I shook my head as I felt his kisses traveling down my spine. . .he was slowly undressing me. Napapikit na lang ako habang unti-unting hinahawakan ang batok n'ya. His kisses were my serotonin, definitely.

I used to hate my name but he made it sound beautiful to me. I love how I can rediscover things with him. I never thought that I can find my ugly parts as something that's unique to me—those weren't ugliness at all, it is what sets me apart from others. It is what makes me beautiful.

###

"Parang tanga lang, Mikay!" I hissed at her upon hearing what she just said.

Ngumuso siya habang pinagdidikit ang mga hintuturo. "Akala ko kasi talaga ay type mo! Kaya binigay ko ang number mo."

Napasapo ako sa aking noo. "Hindi na tayo senior high! Siguro naman ay uso sa atin na magtanong muna sa may-ari ng number bago ito ibigay sa iba 'no?"

Maiintindihan ko sana kung social media accounts na lang ang binigay n'ya kay Kio. Pero ang mismong personal number ko ang inabot n'ya. I'm partly to blame, I guess. Siguro nga ay akala ni Mikay na type ko si Kio.

I didn't contact Kio at all. Bukod sa hindi naman talaga ako interesado sa kan'ya, nanghihinayang ako magbigay ng atensyon sa iba. The semblance of Ryker's soft lips curving to a pout immediately pops up whenever I think of giving another boy my attention.

Hibang! Pakialam ko ba sa Miguel na iyon!

"Mabait naman iyon! Kasama rin sa org ng MassComm kaya naman huwag ka kabahan," ani Mikay at hinawakan pa ako sa balikat. "Mas matino pa iyon kay Ryker."

I scoffed at her. "Paano napunta kay Ryker ang usapan?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "It's not like it's a secret! Marami ang nakakakita sa inyong dalawa. Kaya nga kakaunti na lang ang lumalapit sa 'yo na lalaki. All of them are almost intimidated by Adeva's presence."

The tip of my tongue swiped on my bottom lip. I thought we were lowkey, akala ko pa naman ay medyo tago ang ugnayan naming dalawa. Pero totoo nga na halos kaunti na lang ang mga lalaki na nangangahas na tanungin ang pangalan ko o di kaya ay kausapin man lang ako sa social media ko.

It's not like Ryker is threatening them. Pero kung may umaaligid nga namang gwapo, matalino, at kasing kilala ni Ryker sa natitipuhan mo. . .mawawalan ka talaga ng lakas ng loob eh.

"Kung nasaan ka, nandoon din si Ryker," dagdag ni Mikay. "Mukha siyang watermark mo."

Bahagya akong natawa at umiling. "Loka."

Nagkaroon lang kami ng brief discussion bago i-announce na nasa groupchat na namin yung mga pangalan ng mga magiging partner namin para sa practical namin. Nasa section A ang mga partner namin kaya naman napanguso ako. Section ito nila Ryker. . .sana lalaki ang maging ka-partner n'ya.

It's not like I would get mad if it's a girl! Sa future, magkakaroon naman talaga siya ng pasyente na babae. Pero siguro. . .sa ngayon ay inaalagaan ko pa ang nararamdaman kong selos.

I like his attention to me.

Kapag nawala iyon, hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. . .I'd be devastated despite knowing what we were initially. Kaya nga dapat ngayon pa lang ay hinahayaan ko na masanay na ako na may ibang babae sa paligid n'ya. This isn't healthy at all.

Pagkalabas ko pa lang ay sumalubong sa akin ang pamilyar na bulto ng isang tao. Kio was waiting outside our classroom. Mukha siyang kinakabahan habang nakatingin na naman sa mga paa n'ya.

I bit my lower lip. Nakakaramdam na naman ako ng guilt dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko talaga siya type. This is my fault! I will reject him. . .gently and with caution.

"Hi Kio," bati ko sa kan'ya. "Bakit ka nandito?"

"Aziah!" His face went red. "Nand'yan k-ka na pala."

"Yes. . ."

May nilabas siyang pagkain. Nakalagay ito sa isang take out na plastic. I smiled at him as I stared at the food in his hand. Inaabot n'ya ito sa akin pero hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin ko. I don't want him to think that I don't appreciate it but I don't think we're close enough for me to accept gifts from him.

"Binilhan kita ng pagkain," he beamed. "Para sa lunch mo."

"Ah, thank you. . .pero kasi. . ."

"Kunin mo sana, Aziah," aniya habang pa-iyak na.

I sighed exasperatedly and took the food. "Thank you, Kio. Pero next time, okay na ako sa bati lang at kahit wala ng food."

"Saan ka ba mahilig?" tanong n'ya. "Para next time, yun na lang ang bibilhin ko."

'Sa etits ni Ryker.' I bit my lip to suppress my mouth from blatantly telling him that.

"Kahit 'wag na," I shook my head. May kinuha akong sky flakes mula sa bag ko. I usually bring small snacks or biscuits, dahil patago akong kumakain tuwing may lecture. "Here, may biscuit ako. Kumain ka rin."

Ngiting-ngiti si Kio at sunud-sunod ang pag-thank you n'ya sa akin.

"See you ulit, Princess Aziah!" he said before departing.

My skin prickled upon hearing that from him; Sinabi rin ba ni Mikay ang full name ko kay Kio? Kasi. . .ang weird na alam n'ya yung full name ko.

My headspace was still full of questions for Kio. Natigil lang ito nang bumangga ako sa matigas na bagay.

"Ay Kio!" I yelped after halting from my steps.

"Kio? Really?" A grim voice entered my eardrums.

Umangat ang tingin ko sa kan'ya. "Ryker?"

Nakabusangot siya habang nakatitig sa hawak kong pagkain. His jaw clenched before looking at me again. Hindi naman siya mukhang galit. . .pero ramdam ko na badtrip siya.

"I'm not the type to be offended by you roaming around with another guy's gift for you," sabi n'ya sa malamig na tono. "But you're the one who offered me with the fubu set up. We're bound by our exclusivity; baka lang nakalimutan mo dahil sa lunch na 'yan."

I sarcastically laughed. "What's your problem? Lunch lang ito. Hindi ko pa nga kinakain!"

He sighed, trying to be level headed. "I know. Pero p'wede mo naman siguro tanggihan? You don't see me accepting other girls' gifts. . .so I wasn't expecting that you'll be accepting them wholeheartedly."

I could hear the betrayal in his tone. Totoo naman iyon, while we were in this setup, he never entertained other girls. Ngayon ko lang siya nakitang mapikon dahil sa ibang lalaki.

"Lunch lang naman ito, Ryker," sabi ko sa kan'ya.

"Would you still say that if I had lunch with another girl?" sabi n'ya sa mahinang tono. His eyes were. . .looking sideways, he was obviously hurt.

Hindi ako sanay sa ganito. I refused to let anyone see me vulnerable. I hardened my heart as I've tried my best not to let him see that I'm affected. . .that I care. . .that I was wrong. I let my pride surge over my body as I talked to him.

"Edi makipag-lunch ka sa ibang babae. Pakialam ko?" I masked my jealousy with my sword-like words. "Ano ba tayo?"

Ryker peered over me. His sharp black eyes hardened, a little too serious that it took my breath away. "Yeah right. Ano nga ba tayo, Aziah?"