conqueringlei,

*****
Messenger
BEBI GIRLS

Bebi girl #1:
Kita nyo ba yung babae ni cal?
Totoo ba jowa nya yun HAHAHA

DOWNGRADE

Bebi girl #2:
may babae si Cal?

Bebi girl #3:
yes giiirl

pangit namAN HAHAHAHA

ma-boobs lang

Bebi girl #1:
Booba girl yarn hahaha
Mas maganda ba si Audrey
Lol sana di nya kasama mamaya

Bebi girl #3:
Ano ba name nyan
Bakit mukhang pokpok haha

Bebi girl #1:
Celest Haeia Ybanez
Tunog pa lang halatang landi na eh

Bebi girl #1:
Didn't thought Cal like whores

Bebi girl #2:
whore agad hahaha ???
di naman natin yun kilala huy ka

Bebi girl #1:
WAG SANA NATIN
MAKASALUBONG

Di ko keri makipagplastikan

Bebi girl #2:
honestly di ko alam
bakit sobrang invested tayo kay
ate girl hahaha tanggapin na lang
natin type yun ni cal

Bebi girl #1:
Di sila bagay tho

Bebi girl #3:
True
Mas okay pa si Adeva kaysa sa kanya eh at least yun matalino saka maganda talaga

Bebi girl #2:
need ba maging matalino at maganda para maging ok kapag type kakaloka kayo edi di tayo type ng lahat hahaha 😞😞😞

Bebi girl #1:
TRUE seconded!
Ganda ganda ni Audrey talaga
Ang bait pa huhuhu 😭🫶🏻

Siya na lang kasi, Cal!
Parang tanga naman
Pangit ng taste eh

Bebi girl #2:
i dont think deserve
nya mga ganyang words 🫠

after all di naman
natin yun kilala eh

malay nyo mabaet naman sya

Bebi girl #1:
LOOOL
Di nga
Mukhang malandi eh
Celest malandi hahaha

*****

Chapter 27

I was still staggering because o my stilettos, halos magkumahog na ako sa paglalakad para lang makapagpahinga na rin ang mga paa. Ryker was helping me by holding the end of my dress. Nahihiya man ay hinayaan ko na siya.

Niyaya ako ni Ryker sa may buffet area. He expatiate on what the dinner party was for; he told me that it was a charity dinner party among all the old students of a certain university. Nagkataon lang na halos galing sa iisang university ang mga parents nilang magkakaibigan. Most of the people here were mostly family friends of one another. Parang sapot ng gagamba ang network nila kung gano'n dahil ang lawak talaga.

"Nasaan si Iscaleon?" tanong ko kay Ryker.

"Kanina, nasa may buffet yun at kausap yung dating dean ng school ng papa n'ya," sagot ni Ryker sa akin habang lumilinga-linga. "Baka siguro kinakausap tungkol sa mga offers para sa kan'ya."

"Offers?"

"He gets offers wherever he went," bumaling ng tingin sa akin si Ryker. "To study abroad, to get masterals, and the likes. Si Iscaleon ang halos hinahabol para sa mga gano'n."

Oh.

Lalong lumalayo ang agwat naming dalawa. He was on the top of the world while I'm not even sure if I could ever catch up with him. Ano nga naman ang kaya kong ibigay bilang isang babagsaking accountancy student? The last time I had honors was when I was still in high school. Nakaramdam ako ng paninibugho muli. Maybe if I try my best to study more. . .to be more. . .maybe I'll be good enough.

"I texted Cal already, kasama n'ya sina Dad," Ryker said amidst the buzzling chatter of the crowd.

Tumango naman ako. "Can you lead me to him? Pakiramdam ko talaga nanghihina na yun. Ang daming tao eh."

I don't know when I began to be concerned with his social battery. Madalas ko lang mapansin ang mabilis na paglamlam ng mga mata ni Iscaleon kapag maraming kausap. He would try his best to look like he wasn't drained or bored but it gradually just shows. I couldn't blame him, not everyone was built to entertain small talks and the likes.

"Kailan kayo naging friends ni Iscaleon? Saka paano?" I asked Ryker.

He tilted his head. Ngayon ko pang napansin na undercut pala ang buhok n'ya.

"High school friends," he said. "Kasama ko siya sa school publication."

"Hala weh? Kasali ka sa gano'n? Ano position mo?"

"Baka EIC ito," he replied with a cocky smile. 

"EIC?"

"Editor-In-Chief."

"Wala sa mukha mo."

"Grabe ka, jina-judge mo na agad ako di mo pa nga ako natitikman," he simply blurted out which makes me looked at him.

Ngumisi lang siya sa akin.

Napailing na lang ako habang napapaisip. Bakit gan'yan siya kalandi? Hindi man lang hinawaan si Iscaleon? Edi sana di na ako nireregla ngayon kung gan'yan lang din kalandi yung tropa n'ya eh.

"Ryker!" Someone called him. It was another guy in suit and tie. Agad naman akong lumayo nang kaunti dahil ngayon ko lang naramdaman yung feeling ni Iscaleon noon. I couldn't bring myself to talk to someone that I don't know.

"Lazarus! Man, what's up? Nasaan sila?" Ryker entertained him.

"Baka raw may after party mamaya, sama ba kayo nila Cal?" Lazarus asked him.

"Depende, may iuuwing babae si Cal mamaya eh," Ryker shrugged off then directed his attention to me. "Mag-book na lang ba kayo ng room dito o uuwi pa ba kayo?"

Umiling ako. "Wala pa nababanggit si Cal."

"Sino yan?" Lazarus asked, this time, nasa akin na ang mga tingin.

"Girlfriend ni Cal," Ryker said firmly which caused Lazarus to widen his eyes. Napatango siya pero bahagyang dumaan ang dismaya sa mukha n'ya.

My heart felt like being pricked by tiny needles as his sight landed on me. Siguro dahil sanay naman na ako na maging dismayado ang mga tao sa akin; masakit lang dahil alam ko naman sa sarili ko na kaya ko pa maging mas deserving kaysa sa tingin nila sa akin, hindi ko lang alam kung saan magsisimula para maging mas okay.

"Akala ko si Audrey yung girlfriend no'n," he frankly said. "She looked like his ideal type anyway."

Wow.

Nakakabastos naman.

Hindi ko rin magawang matago yung reaksyon ko sa kan'ya. I know they have their own set of opinions and I couldn't control how they perceive me. Pero huwag naman sana harap-harapan nilang sinasabi sa akin na hindi ako bagay kay Cal.

Ryker merely shrugged off. "Dunno, di naman niligawan ni Cal si Audrey. Also, Celest pretty much has Cal under her so. . ."

"Still, sayang sila," Lazarus spoke as if I'm not beside Ryker. Tangina nito eh, ayaw tumigil!

"Di naman nanghihinayang si Cal," Ryker defended me. Ilang beses na rin siyang tumitingin sa akin. Tahimik na humihingi ng paumanhin.

Aligaga naman ako habang nandoon. I didn't know how to excuse myself but for the sake of getting out of here, I cleared my throat and still managed to give a curt smile.

"Can I go to the comfort room?" bulong ko kay Ryker.

"I can escort you there," he whispered back.

"Huwag na," I shook my head then looked at my feet. "Kaya ko naman."

"Okay," he nodded, then showed me his palm. "Phone."

"Why?"

"Need to keep in touch, just in case," he said. I hesitated at first but then he was a friend of Iscaleon's. . .so in my defeat, I handed him my phone.

He immediately went to my contacts and added himself. Nakakagago si loko dahil siya rin ang naglagay ng pangalan n'ya roon. Nangunot talaga ang noo ko nang makita ang 'Ryker Pogi' sa contact list ko. Babaguhin ko yan mamaya agad!

"See you later," ani Ryker saka hinayaan na akong umalis. 

Tumango lang ako saka tuluyan nang lumayo. I can feel his stare lingered on me until I'm not in the perimeter of his sight anymore. Para akong tinanggalan ng tinik sa dibdib nang makalayo sa kanila. I just need to breath. . .and assessed on how I could be better when it comes to receiving unneeded opinion.

I can't control how they perceive me but I can work on how I see myself.

Diretso lang naman yung patungong comfort room ng event area ng grand hotel na ito kaya walang hirap kong namataan kung nasaan ito. I entered the comfort room with trembling body because it was cold. Ngunit hindi maalis sa ekspresyon ko ang pagkamangha sa buong hotel. It's not like it's my first time staying in a hotel but this one is particularly keen when it comes to the details of their interior architecture.

May natatanging amoy yung comfort room nila. Halatang hindi maamoy ang mga di kanais-nais na odor sa singit ng bawat cubicle. I picked the nearest cubicle that I could see. Wala naman masyadong tao kaya hindi rin kailangan pumila o makipagsiksikan.

I took my time when I took a quick pee. May mga narinig akong yapak ng mga takong kaya naman nahiya ako biglang lumabas. Marami pa namang ibang cubicle kaya baka hintayin ko muna silang makaalis. I hated being stared at; lalo na nakakarinig ako ng mga halinghing mula sa kanila at mga pasaring.

"Nandito raw ba yung girlfriend ni Iscaleon Altreano?"

It stopped me from completely moving. Para akong makinarya na nawalan ng langis nang marinig yun.

"Oo raw. Kasama si Ryker ah? Sabi ni Lazarus, di naman daw maganda kahit sa personal."

"Gaga, baka babae talaga yun ni Ryker?"

"O baka namamangka sa dalawang ilog."

"Di naman maganda eh," anang babae at nakarinig ako ng pagbukas ng gripo. The water resembled the sound of my sweat, pareho itong pumapatak nang paunti-unti.

"Ewan ko ba, mas maganda pa si Audrey roon."

"Daig talaga ng malandi ang maganda."

"Totoo, mukhang pakarat eh."

"Anong pakarat ka diyan?" Natawa yung kausap n'ya. "Ano ibig sabihin n'on?"

"Basta," halakhak nung babae. "Mukhang pakarat. Baka di naman seryoso si Cal doon."

Oh wow. . .mukha akong pakarat?

Hindi ko namalayan na unti-unting tumulo ang mga luha ko sa aking pisngi. My tears pooled underneath my eyelids. Sinubukan kong pigilan ang mahihinang hikbi pero di ko nagawa. I looked like complete shit because I was just there standing like a fool waiting for them to go out. Unti-unti kong binuksan yung pinto upang lumabas dahil di ko alam kung hanggang saan ang kaya kong marinig.

I looked closely and saw their faces. Even when I didn't know them, their faces were already etched in my mind. Hindi naman sila nakatingin sa akin. They were tall and petite. Magaganda sila. Pareho silang focus lang sa pinaguusapan nila kaya di nilang nagawang lumingon sa akin.

My chest was hyperventilating while I took my time to go out. Hindi ko natago ang nararamdamang pighati. I heaved a breath as I felt my lungs slowly being soaked in deep agony. Ang sakit naman nila magsalita. . .hindi naman nila ako kilala?

Pakarat ba talaga ako?

Gano'n din ba tingin sa akin ni Cal?

My line of sight was already blurred because of my tears. Nahihirapan akong lumanghap ng hangin dahil sa paninikip ng dibdib. I took a couple of deep breaths but I couldn't calm down.

"Celest! Celest!"

Someone caught me on my arm. Nilingon ko ito pero hindi ko masyadong makita ang mukha n'ya.

"Oh god, why are you crying?" Agad n'yang sinapo ang mga pisngi ko. Patuloy lang ako sa pag-iyak. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't contact you earlier. Cel, bakit ka umiiyak?"

Iscaleon. . .his voice sounded like the calm morning tv show that would erase my drowsiness in the morning. Patuloy lang ang pagpatak ng mga luha ko kaya naman nalalagyan ang kan'yang mga daliri.

My chest tightened as I drew another breath. "W-wala. Okay lang."

"Cel. . .may masakit ba sa 'yo?" he asked, worry marred his face.  He was examining my whole body using his eyes.

Lumampas muli ang luha ko sa kan'yang mga kamay. Pinilit kong kumalma at suminghot pang muli.

"Okay nga lang," I dismissed him. "Really, tara na. Alis na tayo rito."

Ang hina ko naman.

Salita lang nila, gumuguho na ako.

Diana would have pulled the hair of those girls. Micah would have defended herself using her blunt mouth. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako. . .pinili ko na lang ipagsawalang bahala kahit nasaktan talaga ako sa mga sinabi nila sa akin. Siguro dahil. . .first time kong nasabihan ng gano'n. Pakiramdam ko tuloy ay totoo dahil wala namang baga kung walang apoy, hindi ba?

"No," marahan na sabi ni Iscaleon. "Tangina, may nagpa-iyak ba sa 'yo?"

Natigilan ako dahil kahit malambot ang tono n'ya, umaalpas ang galit mula rito. I looked at him and saw that his eyes were flashing in anger. Kitang-kita ko sa kan'yang mga mata na mukhang may magagawa siyang hindi maganda sa kung sino man nagpa-iyak sa akin.

"Okay lang. . ." I gulped then lowered my sight. "Nasabihan lang ng pakarat."

Hearing it again. . .it doesn't seem to lessen the pain. Gano'n na gano'n pa rin pala kung paano nila unang ginamit, hindi man lang nawala ang sakit sa pangalawang paggamit ko.

"Tangina, sinong nagsabi sa 'yo ng pakarat?" Mataas na ang boses ni Iscaleon, hindi sa akin, kung di sa paligid namin. Halos napalingon tuloy yung mga tao sa direksyon namin.

I saw the two girls approaching and they were completely cemented in their position. Halos di na rin sila makagalaw sa mga pwesto nila. Mukhang tinamaan sila ng punyal sa kanilang mga dibdib. Hindi rin nila magawang tumingin sa direksyon ko.

"What do you want me to do, Cel?" malamyos n'yang balik sa akin. "Please tell me, huwag ka lang iiyak. I can't stand seeing you cry. I won't tolerate hearing people talk shit about someone as amazing as you."

"Okay lang ako."

"No, it's never okay with me that people can make you cry whenever they want to," mariin n'yang sinabi.

I was engulfed with utmost gratitude because of his concern over me. Hinawakan ko ang mga kamay n'ya saka unti-unting nilapit ang mukha ko sa kan'yang mukha. I kissed him with tenderness in my heart, I tasted my own tears in the process.

"It's okay. . .pakarat nga siguro kung pakarat," I teared up once again. "As long as I have you, I think I'll be fine."