to tavel (again),
for being an art yourself.

Warning: Explicit language. Read at your own risk.
*****
Messenger
ERPS BALITA

Iscaleon:
@Ryker Adeva

Eastre:
HAHAHAHAHA
May ginawa ka na naman
@Ryker Adeva

Ryker:
ano na naman ba

Iscaleon:
Someone asked me if I slept with someone in some club in BGC.
Sabi raw kasi ng friend n'ya "Ang sarap ni Iscaleon." 🙎🏻🙎🏻🙎🏻

Eastre:
HAHAHAHAHA fucker!!!! 😭😭😭😭

Ryker:
whaaat
bakit kapag bastos usapan
ako agad? hello active rin
yan si east?

Iscaleon:
If it was Eastre, we wouldn't know!
The girl wouldn't even say a thing.

Eastre:
Ah so kapag ako tumitira lang
nang patalikod? Is that it

Ryker:
Missionary.

Iscaleon:
What missionary?

Ryker:
akala ko east is trying to ask what fave position so. . .

Eastre:
TANGINA KA TALAGA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Iscaleon:
Stop changing the subject!
You shouldn't use my name.
I don't want rumors to spread.
Baka umabot kay Celest. 😔
I don't want my girl to think
she's not the only one.

Ryker:
sawry naaa
promise wont happen again ever
i was prolly lasing lang din that time and probably thought she was asking who was my bff 🫰

anwww at least masarap ka sa kwento ng iba hahahaha

Eastre:
Gago hahaha 🤦

📢# PALAKIHAN AT PATAASAN RANKINGS 📈brought to you by #ERPS

Congratulations to our top 5🎉
🥇#EGO NI RYKER
🥈#BICEPS NI ENOCH
🥉#PRIDE NI EASTRE
4️⃣ #WALLS NI ISCALEON
5️⃣ #SANDATA NI RYKER

Ryker:
bakit top 5 lang yan
top 1 dapat to < ======

Iscaleon:
Ryker Miguel Adeva, listen to me.
Seryoso nga ako. That's not nice.

Eastre:
I agree, dude
I wouldn't tolerate it either 🤕

Ryker:
not with the full name dudeee
sorry na talaga ☹️☹️☹️
wont happen again ever!
papakilala na ako as pajack cole 👍

Eastre:
🤦

Iscaleon:
Just don't do it again!
Okay?

Ryker:

*****

Chapter 24

Iscaleon and I weren't together but at the same time we are dating and seeing each other exclusively. What we had wasn't a relationship, you couldn't even categorize it as such. . .but for me, it was like my favorite tv series that I couldn't wait to finish to see the ending but also would find myself stuck at the second before the last episode because I don't want it to end.

Micah snapped her fingers right at my face, gradually ending my reverie. Napaayos ako nang upo nang mapagtantuan na nasa cafeteria pa pala kaming tatlo.

"Nagyayaya mag-bar si Micah," sabi ni Diana sa akin habang umiinom ng kape n'ya. Her eye bags showed her restless nights. "Sasama ka raw ba?"

"Uh, sure," I gulped, then proceeded to look at Micah. "Kailan ba?"

"This Sat," ulit ni Micah. "Gosh, Celest. Wala ka sa sarili mo lately, okay ka lang ba? Nandito pa naman kami? P'wede mo naman kami kausapin."

I know that. Pero parang may humihila ng dila ko upang pigilan ako na sabihin ang tungkol sa kontrata namin ni Iscaleon. I know that Cal told me that if they were really my friend or they truly loved me; they would see beyond my failures and mistakes. Pero nahihiya pa rin ako aminin. It's a weird concept to explain to others that you entered into a fake relationship with someone because you wanted to experience a lover before you graduate.

I sighed, "Babagsak yata ako sa finals."

"Same," Micah chuckled then immediately went to my side to hug me sideways. "Makakabawi ka pa. Kapag hindi—hayaan mo na, sa akin ka na lang magtrabaho at maging scammers na lang tayo 'te."

"Gaga," binatukan ko nga. "Business Administration ka pa naman tapos gan'yan yung offer mo. Loka ka talaga."

"Pero okay ka lang ba talaga? Bakit malungkot ang Celest namin?" Micah cornered me with questions. "May love problem ba? Kamusta kayo ni ano? Iscaleon ba yun?"

"We're okay. . .gusto n'yo ba siya ma-meet?"

"Ikaw bahala," Micah shrugged off. "I know you wouldn't trust anyone that easily. So he must be nice and trustworthy. Basta kapag sinaktan ka o may nangyari, sabihin mo agad, ha? 'Wag mo sinasarili 'yan."

"Wala ngang nangyayari 'te! Nabibitin ang matres ko," reklamo ko sa kan'ya. Napanguso pa ako dahil totoo naman. Puro lang kami landian. Ilang weeks na nang huling kiss namin. Wala na agad kasunod!

"Gaga ka! I mean kapag may masamang mangyari o kailangan mo ng kausap. Wala naman akong balak makinig ng bold mula sa 'yo, shuta 'to!" ani Micah.

Natawa na lang ako sa kan'ya. I'm lucky to have friends that I can argue with but also lean on. It's rare and beautiful to find a bond like this one.

Dumating ang Sabado at pagkauwi na pagkauwi ko ay naligo ako upang magpalit. Hindi ako nagpasundo kay Iscaleon dahil sinabi ko sa kan'ya na may lakad ako. He also had a boy's night out so it's fair. At saka, ayoko naman na umikot ang buong mundo n'ya sa akin. Hinayaan ko siya dahil alam ko naman na mabait yun. Mahiya naman siya kay Tita Istelle kung magloloko siya.

Pero. . .hindi naman talaga kami nagda-date nang totoo kaya naman bakit ako affected kung may lumandi sa kan'ya sa bar?

Napailing na lang ako.

I decided to wear a black with lace ribbons top and black slacks. I opted for mild pink lipstick as well. Nilugay ko lang ang buhok ko dahil bumabagay naman siya sa balat ko. I wore black stilettos to match the outfit. I was fair so black naturally looked good on me. I took a few pictures and sent it to Cal.

Celest:
alis na ako
mwaps 😘

Cal:
Ingat. Hehe.
Pretty mo. Sobra. 😗

Celest:
SHUTA KA
HAHAHAHA
ingat ka rin lateeer

Sinundo ako ni Micah gamit ng kotse nila. Kaming dalawa lang ang may gala ngayong gabi dahil hindi sumama si Diana. She was busy with her internship and also her org stuff. Hindi na namin pinilit kasi. . .naiintindihan din naman namin na coping mechanism n'ya ang magpakalunod sa mga gawain. Kapag niyaya namin yun ngayon, baka bumuklat lang muli yung mga sugat na pilit n'yang tinatapalan ng mga gawain.

Nagkasundo kami ni Micah na magiging maingat ngayong gabi sa pag-inom. Lalo na siguro ako dahil hindi naman ako malakas sa pag-inom. Kaya nga kapag may inuman ay ako palagi yung dulo na uminom o di kaya ay dalawang ikot muna bago sa shot ko. My friends would even volunteer for my sake just so I wouldn't get drunk in an instance.

The lights were blinding as we entered through the narrow entrance of the club. Halos salamin ang hallway na pinasukan namin at habang papalapit kami ay lalong dumadagundong ang tugtugan sa loob. I told Micah that we shouldn't seperate from each other but I think that as the night will go on, we will definitely part ways. Lumingon ako sa paligid namin, there were stools and a bartender's table on the middle of the dance floor. Tangina, ayoko maging wasted pero mukhang mapapasabak talaga ako ngayon.

"Baka mamaya di na kita mahagilap!" I yelled at Micah who was already frowning at me. "Ang daming tao!"

"Kung sakali man, I'll book you a Grab!" sabi ni Micah habang lumalakas yung tugtog mula sa DJ. We were still near each other. Naka-angkla pa nga ang kamay ko sa kan'ya.

Wala naman talaga akong balak magpakalunod sa alak ngayon. Sasamahan ko lang talaga si Micah dahil matagal na no'ng huling nagkasama kaming dalawa. We went on the dance floor and swayed our hips to some of the latest songs. Nagtatawanan kami nang biglang may tumawag ng atensyon ko.

"Celest."

I tilted my head to look at the person who called me. He was towering to almost everyone else as he approached me. His familiar stoic yet soft features managed to make my heart race as he went to me. He was wearing a black polo with its sleeves folded 'till his elbows. His wire-rimmed glasses only added to his appeal as he furrowed his brows.

"You're here, as well," he said softly.

"Hala," I gasped as I looked around. "Iscaleon! Dito ka rin pala papunta eh. Sana nagsabay na pala tayo."

"Kilala mo?" Micah whispered to me as she looked cautiously at Cal.

"Si Iscaleon yan," I told her to calm her down.

Hindi mapakali si Micah kaya naman agad n'ya akong nilagay sa likod n'ya. Natawa naman ako dahil alam ko naman na medyo may pagka-protective talaga silang mga kaibigan ko sa akin. They still think my heart is pure and breakable. Totoo rin naman talaga ang iniisip nila sa akin. I do think that among the three of us, I'm the one who haven't had her own dose of romantic heartbreak.

"Hi po," Cal greeted Micah politely.

"Hi," Micah nodded at him. "Nice to meet you."

Cal awkwardly diverted his sight. Agad ko namang naramdaman na baka hindi namin masulit yung gabi dahil naalala ko na sabi ni Cal ay di siya magaling makihalubilo kapag di n'ya pa kilala yung tao.

"Do you guys need some alone time?" tanong ni Micah sa akin. I squeezed her hand to tell her that it's fine.

"Yes, I'll text you na lang," saad ko kay Micah.

"Okay, basta chat ka lang kapag kailangan mo ako," she replied briefly.

I quickly nodded at that. Mukha namang walang issue sa kan'ya kung iiwan n'ya ako kay Iscaleon pero pinasadahan n'ya muna ito ng isa pang matalim na tingin bago tuluyang umalis na sa paligid namin. I was fidgeting my fingers but as soon as she disappeared from our sight, I received a text message.

Micah:
ANG POGI
POTA KA
GALINGAN MO

Celest:
TERNO UNDIES
KO TONIGHT

Micah:
VERY GOOD! 🫶🏻🥹

"Is your friend really okay with being left alone?" Iscaleon asked, which immediately caught my attention. His eyes softened as he looked around for Micah.

"Yup! Sanay na yun," I held his hand. "You, on the other hand, akin ka ngayong gabi."

"Ngayong gabi lang?" bulong n'ya.

Napangisi naman ako at sasayawan na dapat siya nang bigla siyang hinila ng kung sinong babae sa gilid n'ya. My eyes widened a fraction when it happened like lighting.

Sino ito?

Even with the blaring music around, I could hear the hint of flirtation in her tone as she snakes her arms around Iscaleon. Lalong napataas ang kilay ko sa ginawa n'ya.

"So? Ikaw si Iscaleon?" the girl purred like a cat as she tilted Iscaleon's head towards her using her index finger. "Ikaw ba yung nababalitaan kong masarap?"

Putangina!?!

"Maling balita ka," agad na lumayo si Iscaleon mula sa kan'ya. He looked awkward, shy, and scared as he shifted his sight on me.

"Oh shit," someone uttered in the crowd. May dalawang lalaking nagmamatyag sa aming dalawa ni Iscaleon. The other one was wearing black long sleeves whereas the one with brownish hair had a sweater over his shoulders. Pareho silang nagpipigil ng tawa. Nangunot agad ang noo ko.

"Oh," the woman laughed. "You don't have to deny. Halata naman na yummy ka eh."

"I. . ." takot na lumingon si Iscaleon sa akin. His face blanched as he saw me. Nagpupuyos na ako sa inis ngayon habang nagtatagis ang panga.

Tangina talaga!

Ibig sabihin may mga nakatikim na kay Iscaleon?! Okay, that's fine. Pero bakit ayaw n'yang magpatikim sa akin kung gano'n? Kiss nga kinokontrata ko pa 'yan tapos kinakaladkad lang pala siya rito sa bar!? Aba nga naman talaga, Iscaleon Jaiven!

My jaw clenched. Sa sobrang irita ko ay pumunta na ako sa bartender. My foot falls were heavy and loud. I ordered some drinks to calm my nerves. Napaupo ako sa stool nang padabog. Bahala si Iscaleon d'yan! I don't care anymore! Nakakainis!

"Cuervo, please!"

"Easy, girl. That's a hard drink," halakhak no'ng naka-long sleeves kanina. Aanuhin ko kung gwapo ito kung di naman si Iscaleon!?!

Umupo siya sa tabi ko. "Loyal sa 'yo si Cal, I swear. That's just a misunderstanding."

"Di pangtao yung Cuervo, ingat ka," the one with a sweater over his shoulders shook his head, he looks like a model with the way he posed. "Ryker, mag-sorry ka ulit."

"C'mon, East," tumawa yung naka-long sleeves na black. "What did I do? Eh masarap naman talaga si Cal."

"It sounds weird when it comes from you," East, who merely shrugged his shoulders, shot me a look. "It actually doesn't sound right at all."

Wala akong pakialam sa mga commentation nila. All I wanted was to indulge in alcohol as I let my feelings cloud my judgements. Bahala na si Cal talaga! Naiinis ako sobra!

It took only an hour before I completely succumbed to my drunkenness. Ilang beses akong pinigilan ng mga lalaki sa tabi ko pero walang nakapagpigil sa akin. I took shot after shot. Cal was just watching over me in shame. Hindi makalapit dahil siguro alam n'ya yung kasalanan n'ya. Umirap na lang ako sa ere.

Ah, fine, whatever!

"Ihahatid na kita," Cal volunteered as he slowly lifted me from the stool. Kakaunti na lang ang tao sa bar. Wala na ngang halos tugtog. Antok na rin siguro yung DJ!

Winaksi ko ang mga kamay n'ya. My eyes immediately glared at him. "No! Ayaw ko!"

"I'm sorry, Cel," he sighed. "That was just a misunderstanding."

"No! Ayaw ko nga," I pouted my lips and took another shot of Cuervo. Di nga talaga pang-tao yung lasa nito!

"Let's go," he said. "You're drunk. Kung ayaw mo ako kasama, ihahatid na lang kita sa kaibigan mo."

Hindi ko alam bakit umiyak ako nang sabihin n'ya yun. Pakiramdam ko kasi ay tinatakwil ako ni Cal. Hindi ba talaga ako kayang mahalin ng iba? Pagod na pagod na ang self ko sa pagmamahal sa sarili ko. I know they say that love shouldn't be forced, it will come gradually at the right time. I also know that love can wait, pero my matres can't anymore. Huhuhu.

"Cel, I'm sorry. I won't leave anymore, sasamahan na kita," nagaalalang umalo sa akin si Cal. Binuhat na n'ya ako at nilagay sa likod n'ya. Naka-piggyback ride na ako sa sobrang kalasingan.

"Gusto ko sa condo mo," I said in between drunk slurs and all. "Please, love?"

"O-okay. . ."

"Hatid ko na kayo?" East asked while looking at our direction.

"With your Porsche?" Iscaleon shot up his brow. I can feel it because he moved his head.

"It's Panamera, don't worry," East clicked his tongue. "Let's go?"

Sa huli ay pumayag si Cal sa offer ni East. Sumakay kami sa sasakyan habang pinagmamaneho ni East. I sniffed the surroundings. It smells like tangerine. . .the freshest one; not like your typical air freshener.

"Daya mo," I blurted out. Napalingon sa akin si Iscaleon. Nakahilig ako sa dibdib n'ya habang nakanguso.

"I'm sorry," Iscaleon caressed my hair. "Wala talaga yun. I'll explain it more when you're sober."

"Masarap ka pala. . ." I said as I rested my head near his shoulder. "Di ka naman nagpapatikim sa akin!"

The driver bursted out in laughter.

"Cel. . ." nahihiyang sabi ni Iscaleon.

"Daya mo! Ang daya! Ang daya!" I said like I was in a tantrum. "Paano ko malalaman kung totoo na masarap ka? Ayaw mo naman magpatikim!?"

"Cel. . .please," namumulang tugon ni Iscaleon.

"Kiss muna."

"No."

"Kiss lang!"

"No," saway ni Iscaleon. "Lasing ka, Cel."

"So?!"

"It's a no," Iscaleon sighed as if he was having a hard time. "Fuck, my pants. . ."

Para na siyang namimilipit habang unti-unting lumalayo sa akin. Lalo akong pinapanguhan ng mga damdaman ko dahil sa alak sa sistema. Umiiyak na talaga ako kasi wala akong kiss!

"Am I desperate?" naluluhang saad ko sa kan'ya habang nakatingin na sa ilalim dahil tinubuan na bigla ng hiya. "I'm so sorry. Gusto lang kita sulitin eh. Gusto ko lang naman maramdaman ka. Sorry, Cal. I'm so sorry for feeling this way. Mahal na mahal kita, Iscaleon."

I cried in his arms as I told him the words that I couldn't utter as loud as I can if I was sober. I know being NBSB isn't a problem but being so deprived of love is. Kahit ang sarili ko na lang mismo, hindi pa kayang mahalin si Celest Haeia. So why am I expecting Iscaleon to love me?

"Mahal na mahal din kita, Celest," he uttered as I felt him cuddling me like he meant it. "You don't have to say sorry for things you can't control."

*****

Messenger
ERPS DIARY
Ryker:
nyare erps

Eastre:
Help me pls hahaha

Di ko na alam gagawin ko ah

Para akong nakikinig ng
radio drama na may halong spg

Sound effects na lang kulang amp

Akala ko ba mabait tong si Cal?
Parang he's going to burst eh Halatang nagpipigil haha

Ryker:
eyyy thats our
gentle fucker hahaha

sabihin mo tanggalin yung
zipper it will help a bit if the
boner wont go down hahaha

Eastre:
I cant even put my Airpods on
cuz im driving 🥲

Will give some protection
na rin just in case may part
2 sila lolz

But i think our
friend is in love na
Lucky him haha

Iscaleon:
Para sa mga kaibigan ko na masaya sa pagdudusa ko: