wc: 828

it's been two weeks since archie and i talked.

it's been hard, being away from him, even if he tried his hardest to talk to me everyday, it will never be the same as it once was. and that's on me.

but would it have been the same if i built up all this anger for him about my feelings?

maybe.. maybe this is how it was meant to be.

my phone rings, i barley have any friends so i dread the caller id.

it's my dad.

"jughead, hey."

he sounds drunk, and it's only 12pm.

"is there something you need?"

i could hear him laugh through the phone, along with him dropping down on the couch. i can practically imagine the beer bottle in one hand.

"i'm gonna get a job, get you and jellybean and your mom back under one roof. you'll see."

"sure dad. i have to go.."

"wait jughead, are you happy?"

"i'm okay."

"that's, that's, that's better than i expected." he said with a chuckle, i fake laughed with him.

"but dad i really have to go."

"i'll see you, yeah?"

"yeah, sure." i can feel myself crying unintentionally as i hang up the phone.

betty knocked on her own door to see if she could come in, i sniffed everything up and wiped my tears, "hey." i said with a smile.

"i was going to ask if you're up for a little detective work, but if you need some time.."

"no it's okay, what're we doing now?"

"you might want to bring your bow." she said with her teeth gritted.

greatttt.

we walk out into the woods, my bow in my right hand as we walk out until betty takes an abrupt stop, putting her hand up signaling for me to stop too.

it's almost as if she were listening to something, but i couldn't hear anything but bugs and a couple deer maybe.

she moves a little to her right and moves the leaves under her feet.

i look down to where her feet are and see a gun under her feet, "betty what the fuck?"

"it's probably not what you think.." she starts. looking at me sincerely.

"it's archie's."

i furrow a brow, confused on why the hell archie would have a gun, especially hidden under leaves in the woods?

"how could he even get a gun, he's 17!" i look around for the possibility of someone seeing us here.

"i don't know but, i was.. making out with a guy in the woods and i heard a gun shot and scanned the woods to find archie crying against a tree." after she blurted out the words making out she said everything super fast.

"woah woah woah, what?"

"i thought that archie hurt himself or something, because i couldn't see his face at first, but when i heard the crying, i don't know."

"he misses you jughead. like badly."

i huff, "i'll talk to him tonight."

betty nods, that's what she wanted me to say.

i told archie i would talk to him tonight, and it's finally time. i step outside from betty's front door, archie standing down the sidewalk.

"hey." archie says quietly.

"hey." i smile lightly, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and walking closer to him. i didn't really think about what i was going to say to him. but i don't want him to be reckless over us.

archie looks like he's waiting for me to start up the conversation, "why do you have a gun?" i ask, not in a hostile way but in a concerned way.

he looks away from me, "it just felt like, i don't know."

"did you want to hurt yourself?"

he shakes his head 'no' but i really don't know if i can believe him or not. "is this because of, us?"

"jughead, i love you. i made a mistake, we can be together."

i roll my eyes, "archie what the hell are you talking about?"

"i think i'm going a little crazy." archie says point blank.

"this isn't how i wanted it." this makes me just as sad. it's not that he wants to be with me, it's that he knows it's either be with me or be my nothing. and i shouldn't have said that, it's just what i felt in the moment.

"archie i love you, but you don't want to be with me."

"what do you want me to say jughead!"

"not this."

it looks like he's panicking, "why did you have to say anything?" he yells at me, running both hands through his hair.

"you just wanted me to stay silent? i just wanted to, im sorry, i just.."

"it was selfish." archie said.

that hit a completely different level with me.

my expression went completely blank.

"yeah okay. goodbye archie." i turn around and walk back into betty's house. closing the door calmly and walking upstairs into betty's room.

this is it.