wc: 795

i wake up with betty's foot hanging off the side of her bed in front of my face.

i almost gag when i push it towards her, waking her up.

she groans as loud and as dramatic as humanly possible, rubbing her eyes and looking off to her side at her clock on her nightstand, "what's your problem it's 5:15ammmmmm."

"your disgusting foot was in my face." i smile sarcastically, rolling onto my back to face the ceiling.

"i think i'm going to talk to archie about it." i announce, i thought about it a lot last night and i think we could work something out.

"don't." betty says quickly, almost immediately.

i prop myself up on my elbow to look at her, her eyes closed but awake.

"why?"

i needed her opinion, especially since it's always kind of been the three of us.

"it's just not a good idea, what if something goes wrong, it'll screw up the whole dynamic."

"you think i haven't thought about that?" i roll my eyes and plop back down onto the mattress. this isn't making me feel good about my decision.

"i guess do you want you want, just really, really think about it first."

i sit on betty's bed, i just invited archie to come over, it shouldn't take long considering he lives right next door. while i was thinking archie came through betty's open bedroom door.

"hey." he seemed cheery at first before seeing the expression on my face. i couldn't make eye contact with him, so i just stared at my hands as he sat down in a chair.

this is when we talk.

"are we just gonna sit here?" archie asks after a little while. getting comfortable again in betty's vanity chair, crossing his arms over each other.

i think he was trying to make some sort of eye contact with me but i wasn't budging from my hands. how do i even do this? why is this so hard?

we both subconsciously know what this is about..

so why is it so hard for me to say?

"archie.."

"juggy, what's up?"

i swallow my tongue, running a hair through my hair and letting out a deep breath along with tears.

"i'm in love with you."

archie sighs, he knew this was coming.

"jug i love you, but.."

i nod, wiping away my tears, "but you don't feel the way i do."

"no jug, i do, or i think i do. but i don't ever, EVER want to lose you, because i'd be a crappy boyfriend." he sits up, reaching for my hand but i pull away. why can't this be easy. why can't he just say he loves me to and we get together?

"archie i can't, i can't look at you everyday and pretend everything is fine when, everytime you smile i feel butterflies, when you're with veronica i feel completely sick. and telling veronica that there was absolutely nothing going on between us crushed me."

he takes a deep breath, "jug, even if we ever went there.. it would never be the same between us again."

"it's never gonna be the same way again after this." i cry, my voice cracking on never.

"jug.."

"i'm just trying to pull it together, but o can't when you're looking at me like that."

"what am i looking at you like?"

"like i'm a sad puppy that you can't fix."

"jughead try to understand, if we go there and i hurt you i couldn't take it back."

"why are you saying that you would hurt me?"

"have you noticed how long all of my relationships have lasted? i'm not good at it."

i roll my eyes, "so i would be just another girl to you?" tears streaming down my cheeks onto my hands.

"that's not what i'm trying to say i just, don't want, things to get complicated past the point of reverse, you know?"

"archie do you love me?" i ask quietly, my voice breaking down a little.

he nods, looking up at the ceiling, knowing exactly what my next question was going to be.

"archie.. are you in love with me?"

he didn't answer, licking his lips and dropping his head into his hands.

"arch please." i cry, pulling my hand along with my blanket across my cheek to wipe off salty tears.

archie swallowed, "i think i could be."

"so why? why can't you just treat me better than those girls?"

"i don't know how."

i swallow my tears, becoming more serious and over it than sad. "then i genuinely do not know how i'm going to stay friends with you archie."

"jughead don't, please. i can't do this without you."

"and i can't be around you without having you."