Jimin's POV

It's raining outside and I'm now looking out the window while drinking coffee. It was raining heavily, I could hear nothing but the sound of it dripping. Although it's noisy at some point it clears out my mind.

Suddenly there was a loud of thunder echoed and I jumped in panic, I stepped back suddenly and walked towards the Kitchen. I laid the mug on the table.

"Jimin-ah..." The sound of his voice, excites me. I looked at the front and saw my older brother.

"Hyung." I called him out, excitedly.

Suddenly I was sad when I woke up and realized I was just imagining it. I smiled bitterly and took a deep breath.

"Good Morning." I immediately looked at Jungkook who was now standing in front of me. He approached me and touched the back of my head before kissing my forehead.

"Morning," I sparingly answered. Jungkook pulled away from me and looked at me, frowning, his hands were on my shoulders.

"What's with the sad face?" I slapped his chest jokingly and smiled, making him think that he was wrong.

"I'll make you coffee." I said to him, diverting his attention to something else. I averted my eyes from him and turned away.

"Before that, maybe you want to check your phone? It's been ringing for a while." I was silent for a moment and thought who the person contacting me could be. My eyes widened as I remembered Namjoon-hyung. I almost forgot about him, I faced Jungkook and snatched my phone from him.

I unlocked it and saw his messages since last night and the recent ones, 3 minutes ago.

Kim Namjoon:
Let's meet and talk about this, Jimin.

Kim Namjoon:
You can't just fucking get rid of me like it's nothing.

I gulped and nervously locked my phone and put it on the table, Jungkook held my arms and I reacted immediatly backing away from him, I stepped back and turned my back on him again.

It's Namjoon. Oh god. Maybe he already know about us. I don't know how but I'm positive he already knows.

"Jimin-hyung." Jungkook calls me. "Was it Namjoon-hyung?" He questioned, I just nodded in response.

"Are you dating him?"

"No!" I shouted denying it, and faced him. "We are not dating. There's no us. He thought we felt the same way but that's not true." I pointed out. I don't want him to think that I'm in a relationship which is very unlikely to happen.

I looked away and bit my lower lip, hell I'm seriously nervous. I know I look like a fool in front of him but I can't help but be scared.

I did Namjoon wrong.

"Come here." I look at him confused, I raised an eyebrow at him. He just smiled as if he didn't see me almost dying of anxiousness. My thoughts were interrupted as he hugged me and kisses side of my hair. "It's okay, Don't be scared. I'm here." He says calming me down, the sound of his voice really cools me down. I close my eyes and I slowly wrap my arms around him, hugging him close and drawn myself into his scent.

"I'll let you decide if you tell him the truth or you hide what we have. It's up to you, just don't blame yourself for everything. I doubt, that he doesn't know how you really feel. Even Hoseok-hyung had seen it. " I nodded my head subconsciously, Jungkook is good at comforting me and it really eases my worries.

"What time are you going to leave?" I asked him almost in a whisper, because I feel like I could sleep in his arms.

"Suddenly? I don't know, I don't want to leave—"

"No, you have to go home. Maybe Hoseok and Yoongi-hyung are already worried about you." I yelp in surprise and hugged Jungkook's neck when he suddenly lifted me up, placing me over the table I stared at him with wide eyes. He broke away from hugging me while my hands still around his neck, he looked at me and he raised his eyebrow.

"You don't want me here?" He asked me, low enough for me to hear. There is no disappointment in his tone, it's more like teasing.

"Answer me." He demanded, rubbing the sides of my hips. God, those touches made feel tingling sensation inside my stomach.

"No I," I tried to defend myself but he brought his face closer to mine, I leaned backward, creating a gap between our faces, I swallowed and looked at his lips and I feel like he's initiating something I am not sure of, "I didn't mean it like that, um—" I turned my head to the side, I heard him chuckle.

"Are you blushing?" I frowned.

"No!" I scowled and glared at him, I was only pretending to be angry but it disappeared quickly  when I was suddenly distracted by this person's undeniably handsome face. He is radiating this energy where, he is everything that a person wants to be with. The person you want to be your first and last. He was like, the nation's first love. 

That kind of feeling.

"You sure?" I was brought back to my senses when he asked that and he was smirking, I can't believe this man.

"Can you let me go now, Mister? I'll be making you coffee, let me excuse myself."

"Oh, you're right." Jungkook agreed. I rolled my eyes at what he said and he just laughed at me.

I thought he was going to release me, but I was shocked when he suddenly slid his hands over my thighs and roughly pulled me closer, I curses when he took a step back, afraid of falling down, I wrapped my legs around his waist. My eyes widened even more when I felt him remove one of his hands behind my back and he was supporting me with only one arm I tightened my grip on his neck.

"Before letting you go," Jungkook whispered, hand touching my face, "Let me do this." I closed my eyes when I felt his lips against mine. He moved his lips, I copied his movements. His hand went down to my neck and at the same time he deepens the kiss and tugs my lips in between, I'm no expert but I'm just following his lead.

God, I swear, his kisses were just addicting.

He pulled away and pressed our foreheads together we both chasing our breath. He finally put me down but my knees seemed to lose strength, he quickly helped me stand on my feet, holding me tightly in his arms. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and laughed softly.

"Are you sure you want me to go, you barely stand." Jungkook teases, I smiled.

Of course, I don't want to. If only he could live here, but it's so selfish of me to ask him such thing, right? I don't want to push it.

Jungkook chuckles, "Fine, I'll shut up about it."

***

After we had dinner, Jungkook decided to leave. He hasn't said anything and I really appreciate that because if he pushes what he wants, I might not be able to say no.

So this is the feeling when you're with the person you want, it's like you're missing something when you're far from each other or was it just in my mind because I'm starting to miss him despite him being in my arms just a few minutes back. I shook my head and closed the door and securely locked it. I know my face look silly with the expression I am making right now, I'm really sad that he left.

I walked towards the couch and there I sat. I took a deep breath and opened my phone. I stared at Namjoon-hyung's last message for a quite time, I tapped the reply button and typed.

"Let's meet."

But I immediately deleted it. "No." I can't. I couldn't face him after what I did to him. I really regret holding back myself before. That was so stupid of me, I waited for the situation to get worse.

"Namjoon-hyung..."

My chest suddenly tightened as I said his name. He was so kind to me yet this is how I repaid him for being nice to me, liking me in the first place was a whole mistake, Namjoon-hyung. I stopped thinking when I heard someone is knocking at the door. I immediately smiled because of that, I didn't expect him to come back right away.

I hurried to open the door.

"Oh, someone's disappointed?" He commented, I looked at the bottle of wine he was holding.

"Namjoon-hyung," I called him and looked at him in the eyes, he's drunk and I'm worried for him.

Namjoon laughed at me, he is staring as he drink the alcohol whole and I was just watching him do it, my heart was clenching at the sight. Abruptly, Namjoon threw the bottle and I jumped in shock I looked  down at the broken bottle on my right side before gazing back at him with mixed fear.

"Why..." Namjoon asked me voice wavering, I felt my heart being crushed. "Why did you do this to me?" I was swallowed by shame and looked down.

"Aren't we in the same page, Jimin? I like you and you felt the same way to me. Am I wrong?" He asked me again, I heard him scoffed. "Or were you just pretending all along and used me? Just like what Jungkook did to you." I clenched my fist.

"No ... I never used you." I answered him, steadying my voice.

"So, then what was all of that?" Namjoon asked hopelessly, "Those times we were together, what was that? Just a game for you? You made me fall for you deeper just to hurt me in the end? Is that so, Jimin?" My eyes are stinging. What I used to fear is happening now, Namjoon is experiencing the kind of pain I wish I could've avoided. All of this happened because I was coward to tell him the truth.

"I didn't mean to, Hyung." The only thing I could say to him.

"You didn't mean to?" He shouted at me, "That's bullshit! I confessed to you! Don't ever use that lame reason!" The tears I was holding back pours down. He doesn't deserve this, but I can't do anything. I caused this, I broke his heart and there's no way I can ease that pain.

"You know I like you, Jimin-ah." I took the courage to look at him. The image of Namjoon-hyung crying really broke me. "And I was waiting..." He pauses, eyes filled with pain.

"I was patiently waiting for you to say yes." Namjoon almost whispered, crying his heart out and looked down, wetting his lips.

"I could wait a long time." He lifted his head and stared at me, face wet with tears, and I wanted to approach him to wipe those tears but I had no right. I was the one who hurt him, I was the fool who let him get hurt. "No matter how long it takes, Jimin. Because I know in myself that we'll end up together." He sobbed and curses under his breath, lifting his head up and harshly wiped off his tears. For a moment it became quiet, a hand covering his face.

"We kissed, we're practically dating, the only thing missing was your answer but what happened? Why on earth are you in his arms, why were you kissing?"

"I believed you." Namjoon removed his hand from covering his face, "The first time you told me, you don't like him I believed that. I was holding on to what you have said to me. I was going crazy thinking about what I saw. Jungkook's holding you and leaning for a kiss, how am I supposed to take that if in the beginning I knew you are mine. I'm the one who should be there inside your heart!" He said pointing at my chest.

"Not him." Namjoon said shaking his head, looking at me with pleading eyes. He came up to me and took both my hands, he lifted it and kissed it.

"Tell me that what I saw is not true, that I am really the person you want. I would still believe you, so please." He begged but I know better if it's not Jungkook, then no one else could own my heart.

"Please, Jimin. Tell me I'm the only one. I'm the one in your heart, just please." Namjoon begged and I shook my head, taking a few steps back away from him.

"No..." Namjoon slowly let go of my hand, I can't handle the pain on his face but I have no choice but to be honest with my feelings.

It's better for him to just hate me and move on.

"I have never thought of you as a lover but a friend, I never consider liking you either, I just don't feel anything romantic for you. For someone who's intelligent, you could've seen how it was only you who were invested to whatever relationship you've created in your mind. Don't go around blaming me for this, I never asked for your attention, you pushed yourself to me, Hyung. You're a kind person, that's where the hesitancy of me calling you off comes from. Be grateful, we've come this far because I was holding back."

"Just hate me or maybe just hurt me to ease the pain you're feeling now. I deserve that."

I know what I said only worsened the pain in his heart, even if it was true, I could've just said it in a nice way but I think it's better for him to just be mad at me, hate me, it would be easier for him to just forget about me. 

"I see," Namjoon says nodding his head, "You'll surely regret this." He threatened.

Now that I feel free from him,

I don't think so.

[A/N: no proofreading. i was in a rush. thanks y'all for supporting this story.]