Embarking on a dangerous mission alone would be completely irrational. If I told Beta Josef, he will want to come along and bring some warriors with us. But working in a hospital I have realized that Michael's pack have lost a great number of warriors. Many died and many were still healing. More than half of the pack was completely out. What was really left was the other pack members who did not train in combat.

Could I really risk taking what was left of this pack and leave them to more vulnerable attacks? The pack was already shaky as it was. People were nervous and chaos was barely under control. Embarking on another mission will only increase the anxiety within the pack. Pregnant female werewolves and pups will be left defenseless.

I thought about this over and over. Coming back home from the hospital, I arrived at the mansion thirty minutes later. Beta Josef was outside talking to Alpha. They turned when they saw me coming up the driveway.

I turned off the ignition and stepped out of the car. I nodded my head at them before walking inside to my bedroom. Sitting on my bed, I ran the numerous possibilities through my mind. The probability that I go alone and survive was slim but the probability of bringing a few strong pack members will increase my chance but not dramatically. I could ask Beta Josef for advice but I know he would insist on bringing whatever was left of the warriors we had in the pack.

The door opened and Lucia walked in. Sebastian following behind. He stayed away from me these past couple of days. I wasn't sure if it was because of our last encounter or just how moody I have been this past week. Lucia sat down next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.

"You look dreadful, Misha." She said.

I looked up at her, feeling exhausted from all this thinking. My hair was pulled up into a ponytail like every day and my eyes have sunken from all the healing I have done. My appetite wasn't the same. I couldn't eat while thinking about Michael.

Sebastian pushed a bagel into my hand. "You need to eat, Misha. You have been working at the hospital every day and coming home late at night."

"Thank you." I said but made no move to eat the bagel. I stared at it for the longest time. Sebastian said something to Lucia and she stepped out of the room.

He sighed and knelt on the ground before me. He took my hands in his and looked up at me.

"You can't do this to yourself. Alpha Michael wouldn't want you to torture yourself like this."

"I can't help it Sebastian. I feel hopeless. I feel nothing but emptiness. Every time I try to do something my heart hurts. When I go into his room, all I want to do is drop onto the ground and bawl my butt off. I miss him. I miss him so much I'm in so much pain." I gave a bitter laugh. "Funny how I am in so much pain but I am healing people every day."

"You love him that much?" Sebastian asked.

I looked down at him. "Yes, I don't know how. I don't know when but I love him."

He looked sad and defeated. Regardless of his feelings for me, he was still my friend. I didn't want to break that bond or hurt him.

"I knew Michael before all this. I met him at Alpha Natalya's territory." I told him. Sebastian looked up. I got his attention.

"You remember?" He asked.

I nodded, "They come in bits and pieces. I don't have all the pieces of my life together yet but it seemed the most recent memories of mine are reappearing again."

"How is that possible?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Must be me using my power. I can feel it changing me."

He remained silent.

"I dreamt about the amulet. I know where it is."

His eyes snapped up to mine immediately. He moved closer and took hold of my shoulders.

"What did you say?" He asked.

"I know where the amulet is. I just need to get to it. I have to tell you Sebastian. I want to go get it. I want to go get it tonight. I need to get to him, Seb. I can't-can't...I will rather die than sit like a duck waiting to be shot." I explained.

A look passed through Sebastian and he cupped my cheeks to get my attention.

"I have something to tell you." He said. I narrowed my eyes on him.

He swallowed hard and appear to be having difficulty telling me what he wanted to tell me.

"I know after what I tell you, you would hate me. You probably won't ever want to see me again but I need to tell you this."

"What?" I asked.

He took a deep breath, "I am Alpha Rayne's spy. I was sent to infiltrate the pack and find their weaknesses. My mission had already started before you arrive. When you did, Alpha Rayne told me to toss my old mission aside and to seek the healer. Find out if the healer was in the pack. A description was made. I found you. You matched the description."

I began pulling away from him. I knew what was coming next. He was the traitor. He was the one who hurt Michael. He grabbed onto my arms and pinned me down on the bed.

"No!" I shouted and kicked him. "Get off me!"

"No, you have to listen to me. Listen to me, Misha!" He demanded, shouting in my face.

I looked up at him. "You hurt him. You're the traitor."

Hurt flashed before his eyes. "Don't think of me as that. Think of me as your friend Sebastian still. I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you. At first, the mission was simple. No feelings were involved but fuck, Misha, you are one hard woman not to love. You asked me to wait for my mate? Well she's dead. I don't have one. That's why I continued to pursue you but then Alpha Michael returned. You didn't even respond to any of my flirting. It was like you were completely immune to it all. Even when you were immune, I was still madly in love with you."

I pushed him hard in the chest. He moved so that I can sit up but he held a firm grip on my arms. I slapped him hard across the face and pain flickered across his eyes.

"I deserve it. I deserve your anger. I got jealous and it was my job. I reported back to Alpha Rayne what I knew. That's why she attacked. I told her-I told her you love Alpha Michael. She captured him because she knew it will lure you out. This is why you can't leave." He explained.

"You have no right to tell me what I can do or not do. I don't trust you." I growled and punched his chest.

He sighed, "I know. I deserve it all but I know that if you go, you will die. You won't survive this."

"Why does it matter to you? You got Michael captured. If I die, your mission will be done. You can go home." I hissed, feeling extreme rage replacing my exhaustion.

"Cause I still fucking love you. I will always love you! I can't see you hurt!" He growled back.

"No matter what you do, I will never love you. Just let me go!" I pushed his chest hard.

"You can't do this alone, Misha!" He growled and his grip tightened around my arms. "I will help you."

I gave a scornful laugh. "Please, like I would ask help from you. I would rather die than ask you for-"

"You need me. You don't have to trust me but you know me. All those times we spent knowing each other. That is the real me. I haven't lied to you then. The only thing I lied to you about was this. You need me, Misha. I know Alpha Rayne's territory like the back of my hand. I know how to infiltrate it." He shook me as if he could shake some sense into me.

I knew he was right. He was my only hope. Michael's pack have lost too many people. Letting Beta Josef and Alpha know will only bring more death. A war that we are not prepared for. I could ask Alpha Constantin and Alpha Natalya but we didn't leave on good terms. I couldn't put that on them not when I haven't asked for forgiveness.

If I could get in unnoticed and leave with Michael. I glanced at Sebastian who looked at me. I really looked into his eyes and somehow, I knew he was telling me the truth. God, I wish it was otherwise but I can see it in his eyes. He wasn't lying. I needed him.

"I love you, Misha. I will never do anything to hurt you. I did a terrible wrong to you but I want to use this opportunity to right what I did." He said softly. "Please believe me. I can't have you running off on your own."

He was my only hope.

"We do it together and if you betray me. I will kill you faster than you can blink." I told him, already feeling the blood lust boiling inside of me.

He nodded. "Tonight, when everyone is asleep. I will come and get you. We will leave the pack together."