Avi guided me to the back, gently pushing me into the seat next to Amelia. He explained how he wanted to ensure Nao and Léa were sat next to each other. If meddling was his intention, the wiser choice would have been to have them sit in the back. They'd still be side to side in the middle row of the van, but they'd have 2 different seats. Nonetheless, I wouldn't argue with him and give Amelia the impression that I wanted to keep my distance. Plus, the proximity would allow conversation to flow easier. Or so I hoped.

     It did not flow easy. We were silent for a half hour, fidgeting awkwardly: feet shifting and scratching skin that wasn't itchy. The fact that Maria and Avi were enthralled in their own conversation, Nao and Léa likewise, only served to highlight our lacking dialogue. When she retrieved the earphones from her pocket, I thought myself completely hopeless. But then she handed me one earbud. Hesitantly I took it between my fingers and brushed my hair behind my ear for better access. Finally, I smiled gratefully. When she made move to hand me her phone, I inched away from it. I didn't want my poor taste in music to further affect her judgement of my character.

      "No way," I said. "You choose the music."

      "It's my playlist. You can't pick a song I won't like."

      Tentatively I took the phone and scrolled through her list of songs.

      "You better appreciate this," she joked. "I'm feeling a little vulnerable right now. I don't show many people my playlist."

      My lips twitched into a wide smile. I scrolled through a few songs out of curiosity, before settling. "Oh, I love Cigarettes After Sex."

      Amelia's eyes shimmered with humor.

      I narrowed my eyes playfully, anticipating her teasing. "Never mind. Let's go with Unlikely Candidates. No risk of stupid puns."

      "I wouldn't say no risk, unlikely maybe, but I could probably figure something out." She winked and I rolled my eyes. "Which song?"

      "Novocaine," I answered, as the first beats of the melody started to play. "I know it's typical but it's my favourite."

      "There's a reason it's typical. If something's enjoyed by a lot of people, there's a reason for it." She relaxed in her seat, resting her head on the headrest as if to properly enjoy the music. "It's my favourite of theirs too."

      The smile on my face seemed permanent. I inched an inch closer to lessen the tension in the cord, chest swelling with pride, as if Amelia's approval of my music taste was of utmost importance.

      I barely had time to step out of the van before I was ushered back into my seat. Avi and Maria unloaded the trunk in record time, essentially throwing our things in Maria's aunt's living room, before whipping out of the driveway into the direction of the local fair.

      Managing to find a parking spot amongst the group of filled lots, I trailed behind Amelia. I had been about to ask her what was so special with a fair that was a two-hour drive away, but I swallowed the question when the towering trees cleared, and I got a peak at the fair ground. It was huge. Lights flashed from the main attractions as the evening grew darker, bells ringing to attract customers and announce winners.

      "Not what you expected?" Amelia smirked beside me.

     I shook my head. "The fairs where I'm from have like five rides, 3 porta potties and stale popcorn."

     "It's the same with Stafil. That's why we come here. And they make the best beaver tails."

      After eating the best beaver tail I'd ever have, we bought a load of tickets for the rides. Eating before going on the rides was a mistake. It only took a few minutes on the roller coaster and spider machine to make my stomach queasy. Worst of all, on the last few rides, Amelia seemed to catch on to my fear of heights. I didn't want her to see this side of me. She didn't say anything about it, but her eyes flashed with understanding.

      When the group announced that we were heading towards our last ride of the night, I couldn't help but release a breath of relief. According to the five, they kept the best for last. Any sense of relief vanished when pity flashed across Amelia's eyes. Something told me that I wouldn't be a fan of their favourite ride. Amelia walked a few inches closer to me, as if to offer moral support. Her attempt at comfort only further riled me up, validating my growing suspicion. When the ride came in view, conveniently hidden behind a trail of trees, I froze. It was a wonder I didn't notice it before. At its full height, the chain carousel reached well above the highest green leaves. Amelia paused by my side, grimacing sympathetically. Her lips parted but Avi's voice beat hers. A few steps ahead, the other four noticed our pause.

      Avi frowned. "Everything alright?"

      I tried to answer, but throat dry, nothing but a squeak escaped me.

      "All good." Amelia plastered her usual charming smile. "We'll meet you there in a few."

       Once the others were out of ear shot, she moved in front of me as if to shield my view of the ride. There was no shielding that monstruous height. Though admittedly I found myself struggling to remove my wide eyes from her soft gaze.

      "We don't have to go on it," she reassured. "I can pretend to be sick."

      I shook my head immediately. I could do this. What was I afraid of? Falling to my death? It was too late for that. I couldn't help but wonder how that would work. If the ride did happen to eject me, would Jaxson be there to catch me, or would it mark the end of my offer?

      "You don't have to be brave us,"12 Amelia interrupted my thoughts. "If this was a spider sanctuary we were visiting, I'd have long ditched the group, hid in the van and watched cartoons."

       My lips twitched into a smile. Having the refusal of the ride as an accessible option was a relief, but... I wanted to do this. It was another thing I could share with Amelia, and the way they all had marvelled about it piqued my curious. Plus something about Amelia's presence urged me to step out of my comfort zone.

      "If you walk me through this ride, I'll happily take care of any spider for you," I eventually offered.

      White teeth flashed in the darkness as she grinned at me. "My own spider killer? I'll take you up on that."

      "Well, I wouldn't kill them," I said. "I'd bring it outside or something."

      Amelia crinkled her nose as if reconsidering the bargain. A few seconds passed and she smirked. "Léa was right: You're the type of person who wouldn't hurt a fly."

       My lips parted to object, but countless memories of my mother's narrowed eyes flashed my mind: hopeless yet amused tsks as she watched me turn a blind eye to the first sign of crawling ants in the entrance as spring days turned warmer. She had, on many occasions, voiced the premonition that my future home would be infested. Still, I couldn't step on the tiny insects without grimacing in remorse. When it was clear that Amelia and Léa's assessment was spot on, I huffed begrudgingly.

       Amelia laughed harder at my expression. "It's okay. Really. I think it's an admirable quality."

      I squinted my eyes skeptically.

      "I'll even take you up on your offer of gently disposing of the disgusting eight-legged crawlers," she teased, emphasizing gently.

       My eyes remained narrowed, but I couldn't hide the twitch of amusement playing on my lips. As silence marked the end of the conversation, I was reminded of what she was waiting on. I hadn't known Amelia long, but I knew if I didn't join the others, she'd opt to keep me company. I wouldn't be the reason she missed out on her favourite ride. Though my pulse spiked again, I shuddered a shaky breath to ground myself.

       Interpreting the resolution on my face, Amelia held out a hand with a soft smile. Intertwining my fingers with hers, I let her lead the way. If not for the fear I was about to do, I might have paid more attention to the softness of her palms or the way her long fingers held me firmly. She only released my hand once we reached the lineup, and instantly I missed the familiarity from the coolness of her rings against my bare skin.

      The ride was a lot less intimidating when it was at its lowest, allowing people to hop into the seats. But when my eyes tracked the pole, towards the height of the ride promised—two hands placed firmly on my cheeks forced my gaze from the structure to green eyes.

      "Stop that," she chuckled. "Don't think about it. Just focus on where the swings are now, barely two feet off the ground."

      I did as she asked but puckered my lips. "So, only think about it once it's too late and I'm a hundred feet off the ground with nowhere to go?"

      "I'd hardly say a hundred feet." She turned towards the ride's sign and grimaced. When she turned my way again, sympathy danced across green irises, but there was no mistaking the quivering of her firmly pressed lips for anything other than contained laughter. She tried to hide the sign with her body, but she wasn't fast enough.

      "Two hundred and forty-two feet!" I cried.

      "It'll be okay," she promised, taking me by the elbow. The carney was waving us through the gate. Part of me had been hoping they'd run out of room, but of course they'd have two seats for us. Mindlessly, I followed Amelia to our chairs, eyes bulging when I fiddled with the flimsy seatbelt. "This." I wiggled the belt in Amelia's direction. "This is what's supposed to prevent me from falling two hundred and forty-two feet?!"

       Again, she failed to hide her amusement.

      "Addie." Her attempt to be serious was laughable. "Take a deep breath."

      I did as she asked, attention fixed on her despite the ride conductor tightening the belt on my waist.

      "There you go," she sang. "Keep doing that. You're doing a great job." Idly I noticed the creaking announcing the takeoff, chairs gradually moving forward. But I focused on matching the rise and fall of my chest with Amelia's. "You can hold my hand if it helps, or hold onto the chains—"

      I clutched the chains with a death grip, Amelia's words fading as amusement marked her features again.

      "We're going to go in two full circles, before it starts going up."

      I nodded, appreciative of the heads up. Dread weighted my chest, as we started our second go around the center post. My stomach swooped into my throat, a tell tell sign that we were going up. I slammed my eyes shut. Seconds passed and my eyes stayed closed. I had a feeling we were already near the top. Whilst people hooted with joy as we swung in the air, I fought to keep my beaver tail down.

      "You can open your eyes, now," Amelia encouraged. I did no such thing. "Just don't look down. You're not going to want to miss this view."

      My eyelids fluttered with curiosity, but it wasn't enough.

      "Addilyn." Her voice was softer now, but still it reached my ears over the wind and music. "Open your eyes."

      There was no hesitation this time. Almost involuntarily my eyes flickered open. I went rigid in my seat, holding my breath.

      "Eyes up," Amelia reminded. "Look straight ahead."

      My gaze followed her command and I gasped. From our altitude, we had a perfect view of the city. Through the darkness, lights from street posts and homes lit up the large community. It was breathtaking.

      "Oh." I suddenly understood why they loved this. For a few moments I forgot about my fear of heights. I laughed breathlessly, wind blowing in my hair.

      Amelia chuckled softly. "Didn't I tell you it would be worth it?"

      I tore my gaze from the city line to Amelia sitting next to me and found her already looking at me. I had now words to express my gratitude, but by the way she reciprocated my smile I think she understood.

      My mood was indescribably high after the ride. I felt like Avi, with a toothy grin and the urge to jump on my feet. To many the ride wouldn't have been a big deal, but it was a big step for me. With the confidence resulting from stepping out of my comfort zone, I felt like I could handle whatever Jaxson planned to throw at me.

      Before leaving the fairgrounds, Léa and Nao insisted on playing a few money grabbing games. The two were jostling around, betting on what sized stuffy Nao could win for Léa; a very typical couple thing to do. I agreed with the others. They were painfully oblivious.

       I was watching Nao throw a baseball at bottles when Amelia slithered beside me, returning from the bathroom.

      "No prize has caught your eye yet?" She asked, studying the trolley of booths with interest. I started to shake my head, but then my gaze flickered to a flash of light sparkling in a stuffy's eyes. A unicorn hung on the stand to my left.

      "I need that one," I decided. I wanted to see Jaxson's face when I brought it home. I'd show him that I could find unicorns in my own way.

      "You have a thing for unicorns?" She laughed. "You're starting to sound like the kid from Despicable me."

      I snorted. "Inside joke with that friend you met at the diner."

     "Let's go then." She nudged her head in the booth's direction. "I've been dying to show off my water gun skills."

      Amelia hadn't been joking about her skills. While the game had been relatively empty, the minute Amelia and I took our spots, other people filled the rest of the empty slots. I triggered my first squirt as soon as possible, determined to win before anyone else could win my prize. I was so focused on the others that I didn't notice Amelia's balloon's rapid swelling, before it burst, and she was declared a winner. I smiled at her victory until the carney requested her choice of prize and she pointed at my unicorn. I forgot about my own gun and balloon and time ran out, screen flashing with my loss. It really wasn't that big of a deal that I didn't get the unicorn. It was only supposed to serve as a joke. I thought it strange nonetheless that Amelia went ahead and took the one prize I wanted. Had she been feigning her kindness all day? Maybe she wanted it for her sister. Still, she could have warned me. I put the water gun down and joined Amelia where she was waiting for me, with uncertainty flashing across my pupils. Amelia didn't perceive my tentativeness.

       "What a rush." She laughed as we made move to join the other four. "I was sure the guy in the blue shirt was going to win and steal the unicorn from us."

      My brows furrowed at the us. What did she mean? A few steps from where Avi stood teasing Nao about something, Amelia handed me the large unicorn with a proud grin.

      She was giving it to me...

      "Oh." I was an idiot. Her smile flickered when she noted my surprise, but Avi beat her to a response.

      "That!" He pointed to the stuffy on my chest and then flicked his gaze back to Nao. "That's how you impress a woman."

      Léa held a small stuffed monkey in her arms, and suddenly Avi's teasing made sense.

      Nao huffed. "Like you know anything about impressing a woman."

      Avi feigned discontentment, and then burst into laughter as if he couldn't even pretend to be serious about the matter. "Low blow." He punched Nao in the shoulder. "And I could so impress a woman if I so desired."

      Nao hummed in disbelief.

      Avi narrowed his eyes playfully. "You're one to talk. You swing both ways and can't impress either side."

      Though I laughed at the boys' bickering, I followed them mindlessly. My thoughts were preoccupied, preoccupied with the thrumming heart in my chest caused by the stuffed unicorn in my hand and the girl who kept brushing against my side. 

Footnotes

12. You don't have to force a brave face. Society seems to have imposed a skewered definition of bravery on us. We should not be made to feel weak for being open with our thoughts and feelings. I personally think there is something incredibly brave in opposing social stigma. Something brave in giving into your vulnerable side. There is great braveness in the sharing of your emotions and admission of requiring help. Please don't let anyone tell you otherwise.