The few extra centimeters Amelia kept between us were palpable. Anymore distance and she'd be walking on the road. I was still spiralling. Terrified that I had done something to make her angry. I was desperate to fix things.

      "The stars are really pretty tonight," was my pathetic attempt of reconciliation.

      Amelia fully looked at me then, brows furrowed as if to say, really? You're really going to ignore the elephant in the room?

     I released a shaky breath, unsure how to proceed, certain that I would only further mess everything up. But then the faintest chuckle parted her lips, and she was shaking her head up at the sky. I couldn't decide if she was in fact assessing the stars like I had or pleading silently to the Universe for a rescue.

      She laughed again before pinching her chin between her thumb and index finger in an exaggerated expression of pondering. "I don't know if I'll manage to draw a unicorn on that one." She was still looking up as if considering her options.

     "We could snap a picture and then draw on it," I suggested.

      She crinkled her nose. "If you want to go the boring route, I guess. I was thinking more like renting an aircraft and practicing our skywriting."

      I snorted. "Of course. I forgot that Amelia Taylor doesn't do anything half-way."

      "That I don't." She laughed sheepishly. "Even when I should..."

      Something in her tone made me think she meant the poem and again I didn't know what to make of that. My lips parted to speak words that I had yet to plan, but the scuffling between Nao and Avi, in front of us, reminded me that we weren't alone. Wordlessly, we agreed to file that conversation for later. We jumped into the group conversation with only a sliver of our earlier awkwardness dissipated.

     The more we walked, the more our usual ease returned. Of course, the moment I managed to find even ground, it was ripped from beneath my feet.

      An old bridge seemed to mark the turnaround point of our walk. Everyone stopped to lean of different spots of the rusty railing. Nao and Léa were failing to skip rocks at an impossible angle. Maria and Avi were debating what animal had been spooked by Nao's first tossed rock. And as always, I was lingering next to Amelia. She was staring down at the ridge below the bridge, where empty beer cans were scattered, and a pile of ash flickered with a last flame: someone's chosen hangout spot.

      "My grandparents had their first kiss here," Amelia told me.

     My brow flickered faintly, but I leaned forward some more to show my interest in her words.

     "My grandpa ran away from school when he was seventeen," she started again. "He had nowhere to go, and he wanted to finish school, so he slept here. No one used to go down there... My grandma's family was really strict. One night she came down here to get away from everything; to get wasted without judgement. That's how they first met. My grandma with a six pack in hand and my grandpa half asleep in his statistics book.

      My grandpa was a stubborn man, refused any of the help she offered. Still, grandma came at least every other day. Sometimes with food and water. Sometimes just to vent. 2 months later, they graduated and moved in together. No care for their families' opinions. No care for trust funds and lined up jobs... I've always idolized their relationship. Most days I wish I could be as brave as they were."

      The words relationship and brave returned some of the tension in my chest. It looked like this was going to be a speechless kind of night. My thoughts were moving too fast to pick a coherent sentence out of the zooming mess.

      "We're going to get going," Avi's voiced startled me. Neither Amelia nor I noticed that the others had started heading back towards the road. "Are you two sticking around?"

      "I'm going to stay awhile," Amelia answered.

      Avi nodded as if expecting as much and then looked at me. I froze again. Not a single part of me wanted to leave Amelia here. But I felt like staying would only be digging myself a bigger hole. And I didn't want to impose on Amelia's reminiscing. Amelia was looking at me expectantly too. Green eyes were soft, watching me in an almost pleading way.

       "You can stay if you want," she spoke, words a whisper in the wind. I heard her actual words, but something in her tone and vulnerable gaze made it sound like, "Can you stay?". And no matter the level of humiliation at stake, there was no way I was denying her anything. Plus, leaving her alone in the dark, with no other sign of human life was out of the question.

      "I'm going to stick around too," I finally said. Simple words shouldn't have felt so monumental. If Avi's smirk was anything to go by, he was pleased. So pleased that in the blink of an eye, he was pushing the other three forward as though afraid I would change my mind.

      We were silent until the others were long out of sight, leaning against the railing with shuffling feet and scratches of skin that wasn't itchy. I kept my gaze on the stream below, in vain attempt to ignore the goosebumps that erupted on my skin when our elbows brushed. A 30 feet long bridge, but still we shared the same space.

      "The first time I felt numb, I came here." My head shot up at the interruption of our silence. "I almost jumped." She stared at the railing between her hands like she was reliving that day.

      "You thought about your grandparents?" I guessed.

      She nodded. "I didn't want to turn some one of their happiest moments into something so horrible..." She looked down at the ground again. "Plus, this bridge isn't nearly high enough to do any real damage."

      I choked on a breath, not sure whether to laugh or cry. I looked at Amelia to gauge her reaction. She was biting back a smile, trying not to laugh at me.

      "Amelia," I groaned my laughter, shaking my head at her.

      She shot me my favourite crooked grin and shrugged helplessly. "You know me and honesty." She cleared her throat and averted her gaze at the mention of honesty. My heart ceased again. I toyed with different ways to broach the subject. I couldn't stand the in and out jumping into awkwardness.

      "That's the Andromeda constellation." She pointed at the skin and my face didn't hide my confusion at the abruptness and randomness of the statement. Still, I rolled with it. I got her to show it to me, and in no time, I was looking at the squiggly constellation.

      "Are you an astrology fan?" I questioned.

      "Nah. I just like that one. I was compelled to her story... To keep it short, Andromeda was the daughter of Cassiopeia, the queen. Cassiopeia thought herself and her daughter more beautiful than the sea nymphs. She was vain. Said things that angered the wrong people. She was forced to sacrifice her daughter. They chained Andromeda up and left her for the sea creatures. She was helpless, waiting for someone to save her. Waiting for Perseus... I think I was waiting for someone to save me."

      "But no one could save you. You had to save yourself."

      She nodded; eyes soft as she mine. "I'm still in the saving process, but I couldn't do it without all the help I got."

      "I'm sure Perseus had support too. Surely, he had someone to confide in. Surely someone alerted him to the danger Andromeda faced."

     The corner of her lips tugged upwards; gaze distant. "So, I'm both Andromeda and Perseus in my story and you're the messenger?"

     I shrugged awkwardly. "I think you have a lot of messengers."

      Her short breath of laughter made me frown. "One of these days, I'll pay you a compliment and you won't try to discredit it."

     My thoughts swivelled back to her poem. I hadn't discredited her poem. Not out loud, anyways. Somehow, I knew her mind went the same place. She averted her gaze back to the sky.

     "The stars really are pretty," she noted.

     I puckered my lips, unable to refrain from speaking my abrupt thoughts. "I feel like you're filling awkward silences with the first thought that comes to mind." It was so unlike us. Both the scraping of conversation pieces and awkward silence.

      I regretted my words immediately, almost recoiling when Amelia cocked a brow at me. "I think you did the same thing first."

     The stars are really pretty tonight. My cheeks reddened. "I was trying to ease the tension."

      She hummed. "Don't you think that's what I'm trying to do too? Or do you feel like I'm avoiding the very obvious elephant in the room that started with my poem?"

      My lips parted soundlessly. "I don't k—"

      She shook her head vehemently. "Please don't play dumb. I know you're not that clueless."

     I heaved a shaky breath. There was nowhere left to hide, and I had unknowingly made sure of it. My stomach tensed, mouth still unmoving.

      "I don't know what you want from me, Addie." She angled her body to face me, pinning me in place with her gaze. "You waited for me to bring it up, but I think it's your hand to play. I've laid out my cards."

     Silence. Crickets. There was just the rustling of wind in my ears and my fearful gaze focused on green irises. There was just me and Amelia. Why was this so difficult?

     "I need you to say something, Addie," she pleaded, somehow stepping closer. Tip of her shoe nudging mine, she rested a hand on my forearm. "I don't need you to reciprocate my feelings. I just need you to acknowledge them, so we can move on. At first when you didn't acknowledge it, I thought okay, she doesn't feel the same. Let's work on letting it go."

      I waited. There was a but coming.

      A gush of wind blew a strand of hair in my face and as if by instinct Mia brushed it behind my ear. My breath caught in my throat. In a simple action she stole all the air from my lungs. I couldn't look away. Standing so close, my eyes couldn't help but trace her face, from her wind burnt cheeks to her growing pupils and then to the smooth outline of her lips.

      "But then you look at me like that." Her words startled my gaze away from her mouth. "You look at me with the same softness and blown pupils as me. I've been so confused. All signs point in my favor, but then you run...I can't read your mind. I can't tell if I'm delusional or if you're just scared like I was."

      The hand that had brushed my hair, lingered on my cheek. I swallowed hard, lips parting involuntarily. I didn't miss the way her gaze flickered to my mouth.

      I was known for being oblivious, but I knew very well that the way she leaned in and tracked the movement of my tongue wetting my lips, meant she was going in for a kiss. I was shocked, not stupid. And... I wasn't pulling away.

      "There's only you," she whispered tenderly. "Everything else fades."

     Her use of my words, the reminder of the vulnerability of my poem, was an ice bucket poured on my head. Lips inches apart, I swerved my head around without deliberation.

      The look on Amelia's face would haunt me at night. I was trying to fix things but got lost in the moment and hurt her so much more. I had leaned in; given her every reason to believe it was going to happen.

      "Amelia—" I didn't know what else to say.

      She shook her head, smiling wryly at the water. She wouldn't bring her gaze back to mine. My stomach sank. "It's fine. Let's just get you back home. It's getting late."

      I wanted to say, "That's it?". There was so much more that I wanted to say. So much that I needed to say. But I followed her silently. Fear surpassed my urgency to voice my thoughts.

      The walk home was the most painful silence I had ever had to endure. We didn't utter a single word, silently acknowledging that she was walking me home. Every couple of steps, I snuck a glance at her in my periphery, hoping to assess her features. Not once did I see anger or resentment. All I saw was hurt and disappointment. It made me that much more frustrated with myself. Frustrated that I couldn't release the weight on my chest. Frustrated that I wasn't strong enough to give her the communication she deserved.

     Despite everything, Mia walked me to my door. I hesitated on the porch steps and Amelia huffed a chuckle. Like she was exasperated but couldn't stand to be mad. Couldn't even attempt it.

     "It's going to be ok." She took a step forward, kissed my cheek and then made her own way home.

      I watched her walk away in a daze, skin tingling where her lips had made contact. My feet fought the urge to go after her. I had one foot on a porch step and the other on the gravel, when Amelia glanced back from the sidewalk. She misread my stance and softly furrowed her brows.

      "I'm not going to harm myself because you don't feel the same," she told me, again with humorless laughter. "We're fine, Addie. I'll see you tomorrow."

      That wasn't anywhere near where my train of thought had gone.

      I stood there, with one foot in the driveway and one on the stairs, like an idiot. Stood there until she was out of sight. When she disappeared, I dropped my face in my hands and groaned until tears prickled my eyes.

      Inhaling a gulp of air, I made way for the door, with the intention of keeping my pending breakdown from any curious pedestrians.

      I slammed the door shut behind me. "Oh, God. What did I do?" I leaned against the door and pulled at my hair.

      It took all of ten seconds before Jaxson rounded the corner cautiously. He came to a stop a few feet in front of me. His eyes were patient, waiting, just like Amelia had been. I was starting to piece together what everyone was waiting on.

      "Let me have it," Jaxson encouraged, arms open. "Let it all out."

      In a mixture of agitation, bewilderment, and confusion, I cried, "Am I gay?!"