❝𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘸 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 // 𝘚𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘵 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘯 // 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩, 𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘳𝘰𝘸❞

ꨄ

𝗦𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗠𝗕𝗘𝗥 𝟭𝟯𝗥𝗗 , 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟯
𝗟𝗢𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗦 , 𝗖𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗔
𝟳:𝟱𝟴 𝗣𝗠

Kiana had been looking forward to the Nothings Forever Tour since she began planning it almost a year ago. She had plans to bring MUNA on for Everything, but neither band member had spoken to her in months. But despite that, Kiana still invited them to her concert in Los Angeles. She hoped that by some miracle they'd show and support her, but alas, she was wrong, or so she thought. Kiana was supposed to go on in 2 minutes, but as she was pacing back and forth backstage, she was having second thoughts and wanted to cancel the show tonight.

"Quit freaking out and go out there or else I will"

Kiana immediately stopped in her tracks and spun around, "Katie?! Holy shit, what- what are you doing here?" Kiana couldn't believe her eyes, she had no clue what Katie was doing here. "Don't you like hate me or something?"

Katie shook her head. "I never hated you, I was just mad. I shouldn't have completely cut you off for what you did, even if it was really fucked up"

"I know I feel horrible about it- " Kiana was interrupted by the crowd suddenly going wild.

"I'll join you on stage for Everything" Said Katie, "We can talk after your show, I promise"

—

Kiana had just finished singing the first half of Everything, but paused just before bridge. "Los Angeles, I want you to welcome Katie Gavin to the stage!" The redhead ran out on the stage as the crowd erupted into screams. Both singers looked to each other and let out a laugh at the crowds reaction. "Help her out with the bridge Los Angeles! I want the whole city to hear you!"

As Katie sang the bridge, Kiana danced and jumped around stage, hyping up the crowd. She glanced over at Katie and smiled slightly, Kiana finally had one of her friends back in her life. Katie made her way over to Kiana and threw an arm over her friends shoulder, taking the brunette out of her thoughts so the two could sing the chorus and outro together. But when the singers had reached the outro, Kiana thought that for a moment she saw something — more like someone. But in the blink of an eye, the shadowy figure was gone.

"Thank you for coming Los Angeles, drive safe, I love you all!"

The minute Kiana had stepped foot backstage, she sat on the floor and leaned her back against the wall, bringing her knees to her chest.

"Hey, are you okay?" Katie asked, sitting beside her friend.

Kiana shook her head, "I think I'm losing it, Katie. I think I'm going crazy"

Katie wrapped an arm around Kiana and pulled her friend closer to her so Kiana was leaning against her. "You're not going crazy, Kie"

"I thought I saw Julien out in the crowd, what sane person hallucinates their ex-girlfriend?!" Kiana was glad that Katie had decided to come to her show tonight, because if she hadn't Kiana was almost sure she would've had a mental breakdown. "Why'd you come?"

"My partner convinced me to," Katie spoke, "Plus I missed you"

"Do Naomi and Jo still hate my guts?"

"Well, Naomi was gonna come but they got sick," Said Katie. "But Jo is still very much mad at you"

Kiana sighed. Her and Jo had been friends since the 2nd grade, Kiana couldn't understand why Jo would throw away years and years of friendship over some stupid mistake. "Can you try talking to her, please?"

"I will but you know Jo, there's no changing her mind once she's already made it up"

"All I want is for things to go back to normal, I don't want to be judged by some stupid fucking mistake my whole life"

"It'll pass, Kie" The redhead assured her.

Kiana nodded, not believing her friend. It had already been months yet the drama was still going as if it had happened yesterday. "Did you know even my own brother hasn't spoken to me? I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this, Katie. I'm gonna fucking lose it"

"Everything's gonna be okay, I promise"

Kiana had been hearing those very words from both her parents and Jack, and sometimes even herself. She'd heard them so many times she began to doubt that anything would ever be close to okay. Kiana had begun to think that maybe she was destined to be alone.

—

Normally, Kiana would've gone straight to bed after playing a show, but despite feeling exhausted she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep that night. Instead she decided to walk around Los Angeles. Kiana had only gone back home to change out of her on stage clothes, so now she wore her black worn out jeans and a faded t-shirt that belonged to Julien. And by the time she realized who it belonged to, Kiana was already far from home.

"Hey, hey you" A voice said. Kiana looked around cluelessly. "Yeah you, you look stressed, I got something for that"

At that moment Kiana saw where the voice was coming from. It was coming from the man that was leaned against a brick wall with his hands in his coat pockets.

"Excuse me?" Kiana spoke, unsure of what to say to him.

He pulled a small baggie out from his pocket that held two small pills, one pink one blue. It didn't take a genius to know that they were drugs. "I'll make a deal with you, I'll bump the price down to $20 since I'm feeling generous"

Kiana opened her mouth to say no, she had never tried drugs and didn't plan on doing so any time soon, but what came out instead shocked Kiana herself. "Sure, why not" She fished $20 from her jean pockets and handed it to the dealer.

"Pleasure doing business with ya Miss Stevens" He said.

"You know who I am?" She asked, shoving the baggie in her back pocket.

"Of course I do, you're a woman with money, and I know people with money"

Kiana awkwardly nodded. "Oh, okay"

"If you like the product you know where to find me" The dealer retreated back into the shadows while Kiana stood there processing what just happened.

"Did I just buy drugs?" She asked herself. "Why on earth did I buy drugs?!"

Kiana's life had spiraled way out of her control, nothing about it was at all consistent, but the one thing about it that remained the same was her not being able to stay away from things that would ruin her life. Getting involved with Leah Ivanov had ruined Kiana's life seemingly beyond repair, and now she was out on the streets of L.A buying drugs from a stranger.

"What has my life become?" Kiana mumbled to herself.

She reached into her back pocket and held the baggie in her hand as she stared down at them. For a moment Kiana thought about taking one just to see if they would make her forget about all her problems, even if it only was for a while.

"Fuck it"

Kiana popped both of the pills in her mouth. Her life was already somewhat fucked up, so to Kiana it couldn't possibly get any worse than it already was.

—

The singer had been wandering around the city for 30 minutes now. Her limbs were tingling and she was sweating despite it being 50 degrees out, but she was euphoric and looked around as if Los Angeles were some beautiful place she had never seen.

"Ma'am, are you alright?"

Kiana spun around gave the woman a thumbs up. "I'm- I'm great!"

"Oh my god, it's Kiana Stevens!"

"I love you!"

Normally Kiana would bolt at the sight of a horde of people coming her way, but this time she went towards the crowd. She ran through the crowd and high fived and took photos with fans.

"I love you all!" Kiana shouted.

—

The following morning Kiana woke up in an alley with her shirt off. She recalled very little about the previous night, but she did remember sweating a lot. Kiana put her shirt back on and checked her phone to see if she had any messages.

𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮

𝗠𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗮
Your father and I are having some family and a couple of your brothers friends over for his birthday party
He didn't want anything too big
I know your busy with tour but come by, at least for a while. It'd mean the world us
Today 12:01 PM

Kiana please come
It's your brothers birthday party, you can't
skip out on it just because he's mad at you
Today 3:49 PM

"Fuck" Kiana had forgotten about her brothers birthday last night, she was too high to remember anything. But Kiana couldn't miss out on Marcus' birthday party. She headed home to change into clean clothes before showing up at her parents house.

Kiana walked up to her parents home and saw the front door wide open, which confused the singer. She entered the house and immediately heard screaming from the kitchen.

"NO MOVE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO BURNT IT!"

"NO, IM THE ADULT HERE!"

"IM AN ADULT TOO!"

"ONE OF YOU JUST GET THE FIRE EXTINGUISHER!"

When Kiana reached the kitchen J.R was leaned against the kitchen island with a fire extinguisher in hand, her mom held a black square of what Kiana assumed to be a piece of bread, and Marcus was leaned against the sink.

"What the hell happened here?" Kiana asked.

"Oh, hey sweetheart" Said David, panting as he waved at his stepdaughter with the fire extinguisher in hand. "Glad you made it"

"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Marcus turned to his parents. "What is she doing here?!"

"I can just go- "

"Nonsense, you're staying" Said Sandra. "This has gone on long enough. You're siblings, you shouldn't just ignore each other for your entire lives"

Marcus rolled his eyes at his mother. "So you don't care that she's been out and about ruining the family name?"

"Since when do you care about the family name?" Sandra questioned.

"Since nobody else seemed to!" Marcus stormed out of the kitchen and ran out towards the front porch.

"I'll go talk- "

"No," Kiana interrupted her stepdad, "I will. I'm the one who fucked up, I'll go"

Kiana walked out to the front of the house and found her little brother smoking a joint. "Mind if I join you?"

Marcus shrugged. "I guess"

"Why are you so pissed at me?" She wondered. Julien had been the one who got cheated on, Kiana had done nothing to anger her little brother. "I didn't do anything"

"Yes you did"

"What'd I do?"

"You know what you did"

In that moment Kiana realized why Marcus was so mad at her. "You're mad because I..." Kiana cut herself off, not wanting to actually admit what she did aloud as if saying it would curse her for all eternity. "Because I cheated on Julien? But you had nothing to do with that"

"People at USC wouldn't touch me with a ten foot pole, they think I'm just as bad as you are" He explained. "Just cause we're brother and sister they think we're somehow the same"

"I know what that feels like. If mom screwed up the tiniest bit or did something the public didn't like I was somehow headlining with mom and being asked all sorts of questions about her"

"I'm sorry for being such a dick. I should've had your back even though you majorly fucked up, like you really- "

Kiana put her hand over her brothers mouth to keep him from finishing that thought. "I get it, so shut up before I run you over with my car"

Marcus slapped his sisters arm away and laughed. "You suck at driving, and plus you'd somehow hit everything but me"

A silence fell between the two siblings, which Kiana hated. For the first time since she took those drugs, the singer was forced to be alone with her thoughts. The pills Kiana had taken made her forget how miserable her life was. They made her forget everything, which was the only thing Kiana wanted to do. Those pills were so small yet they held so much power, it only took two to destroy someone's life.

𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘅 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 !
new chapter after like a month bc I was hyper fixating on my PJO fanfic