❝𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘐 𝘥𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 // 𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘦𝘸 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘥 𝘥𝘰 // 𝘊𝘰𝘭𝘭𝘢𝘱𝘴𝘦 𝘮𝘺 𝘷𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘶𝘭 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘴❞

ꨄ

𝗙𝗘𝗕𝗥𝗨𝗔𝗥𝗬 𝟱𝗧𝗛 , 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰
𝗟𝗢𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟𝗘𝗦 , 𝗖𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗔
𝟱:𝟱𝟲 𝗣𝗠

Mid September Kiana had been asked to be a presenter for the upcoming Grammys, which she immediately agreed to. But what Kiana dreaded the most was potentially handing a Grammy to any of the boygenius members, especially Julien. She'd do anything to get out of presenting the Grammy for the categories boygenius was nominated for, but she wasn't getting out it any time soon.

"Okay! Let's go over it one more time, alright?" Says Tony, Kiana's publicist. "You arrive at the arena, you pose for a couple pictures, go inside and mingle with some people, not Julien, and then you go up there and do your thing"

"I wasn't gonna talk to her" Kiana mumbled"

"Mhm" Tony crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at the singer. "Girl you forget that I know you. You also never listen to me"

"You don't have to worry about me Tony"

"Oh honey, what'd you do this time?" He set his whiskey glass down on his lap, giving Kiana his full attention.

"Julien wants nothing to do with me, I'm not gonna wander off this time"

"She's been wanting nothing to do with you, this isn't news Kiana" Tony sighed at Kiana's defeated expression and grabbed the bottle of whiskey and poured Kiana a glass. "Here, to prepare for this shitty evening"

After that night in Nashville, Kiana made her family swear that they wouldn't tell a single soul about what happened, and so far her parents had honored their promise. Kiana downed the alcohol within seconds and exited the car with Tony. Immediately cameras began to flash and questions were being shouted at Kiana, but she tried to ignore everything and kept walking.

"Will you get back together with Julien!"

"There are rumors of you doing drugs, is that true!"

Kiana wanted nothing more than to turn around and go home, but she couldn't, she was a presenter for the Grammys, so going home wasn't exactly an option.

"Let's just go inside, okay? We can skip the photos" Tony whispered, and Kiana nodded. Tony guided the singer into the seating area. Kiana watched as celebrities entered the arena and found their seats, but a certain celebrity had caught her eye. The two locked eyes and they quickly made their way to each other.

"Kiana!" Taylor hugged the younger singer. "It's been so long, I haven't seen you since April, how are you?"

"Uh, good, good" She lied. Life had been a living hell lately but Kiana wasn't gonna say that to Taylor Swift. "I've been busy with my new album."

"Oh my god!" Taylor grinned from ear to ear and clapped like a child. "That's amazing! Do you think I can hear it when it's finished?"

"Yeah, totally!" Kiana agreed.

"Kiana," Tony put a hand on the singers shoulder. "We should get you backstage"

She nodded, said her goodbyes to Taylor, then headed backstage with Tony. The moment Kiana had been dreading was finally approaching. The thought of even seeing Julien was enough to make her fully spiral backstage, she couldn't handle being within five feet of her.

"I can't do this Tony" Kiana finally says after not listening to him for the past two minutes. "I literally can't or I'll lose my shit"

"Okay, I get it, but it's too late to back out" He says, and Kiana sighed knowing Tony was right. "So just take a minute to get yourself together, alright? Everything's gonna be okay, you'll live"

—

"And the Grammy goes to..." Kiana opened the envelope and took out the slip of paper. Her heart dropped to the floor at the name of the winner; she had been dreading this very moment. "boygenius!" She tried to act normal as the boys ran to the stage with huge grind on their faces. As Kiana handed the Grammy to Lucy, her and Julien made eye contact. The smile on her face had faded away and their eyes seemed to meet each other.

Phoebe shook Julien slightly and pulled her away from Kiana and stepped back to let the boys have their moment. Kiana searched for Tony in the crowd, in desperate need of something to focus on other than her ex. Halfway through Lucy's speech, Kiana had found Tony, who softly smiled and gave her a reassuring nod.

"You're okay" He mouthed to her.

"I can't do this" Kiana whispered to herself. "I can't" The band left the stage practically glued to each other as they celebrated their first Grammy. Kiana on the other hand bolted away the minute the three singers had gotten off stage. The crowd looked around at one another bewildered and caught off guard by Kiana's sudden bolt off stage.

Upon reaching the outside, Kiana took severely deep breaths to calm herself, but that wasn't working. She needed something stronger. Kiana wandered away from the arena and towards the shittier part of Los Angeles where drug dealers and addicts usually hung around. Kiana searched for her dealers house, which was basically a crack house, it didn't take long till she found it though. The house stuck out like a sore thumb. The windows were boarded up, part of the roof was chipped off and so was the paint on the walls.

Kiana entered the house, already relaxed from the familiar scent of chemicals. "Brenner, I need something strong"

"What for?" He asked.

"I just had to give my ex a Grammy"

"Got a fresh line," Another guy spoke. "It's yours if you want it"

Kiana smiled at him and didn't even hesitate sitting beside the man. She leaned forward and pressed her nose to the white powder and sniffed the whole line.

Kiana threw herself back and exhaled. "Holy shit, that hit the spot"

The two addicts took turns doing lines, but with each one they both got more and more disoriented.

"This is the best I've felt in a long time" Said Kiana. "After Julien I felt shitty, I still do, but I feel good"

"Fuck! Fuck, shit! Sorry Kiana!" Brenner hopped over the table, breaking a meth pipe as he did, and booked it out the house.

She hadn't understood what Brenner meant until Kiana heard police sirens. "Shit" Kiana mumbled.

The door was broken down by the cops, one police officer made his way to the singer, who couldn't stop laughing. "Ma'am, you're under arrest"

"For what?" She laughed.

"Well, for starters, for possession of illegal substances"

—

"Stevens, your bails been posted" The cop walked over to her cell and unlocked it, and led her to the entrance where Josette was stood leaning against the wall. "Hope I don't see you back here"

"What the fuck?" Kiana muttered, confused by their presence.

"You had them call me, don't be act surprised"

The two proceeded to walk to the car in complete silence. The restlessness had worn off back at the station, now Kiana was nauseous and stared out the car window hoping it'd go away.

"Are you still high?" Jo asked suddenly. "Cops said they found you in a crack house with a dead guy next to you"

Kiana hadn't noticed that he had overdosed. "He's dead?"

"Uh, yeah. Did you know him?"

She shook her head. "I'm still high by the way"

"I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone in your apartment while your strung out on cocaine, you can stay at my house for tonight and I'll drive you back in the morning"

Kiana nodded. "Thanks Jo"

"I still hate you though, I don't think that'll ever change"

𝗮𝗹𝗲𝘅 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗮𝗸𝘀 !
I will try to upload more frequently from now on. I graduated high school on the 6th and have been at grad parties. I was also very hungover for two days but we're back now
kinda hate this chapter too but whatever