(Bella) 

Jimin and I had a nice lunch, but we did not discuss anything that could lead to any type of heated discussion. We mostly talked about our studies: me, school counseling; him, fine and studio arts. We were both nervous about starting our junior year in college, looking ahead perhaps to graduate school. There was a time when we couldn't picture ourselves this far into the future.

"Have you thought any more about us?" he asked me suddenly.

"What do you mean?"

He swirled his drink around. "About giving me another chance?"

I knew where this was going. "Jimin..."

"Think about it," he said. "You know that I love you. You mean everything to me, baby. I will try to be better. You know how things are sometimes. You know what I go through. You're the only one who understands. I need you in every way possible."

"I've told you before," I replied. "I know I still love you, but I don't know if it's the way that you want me to love you. We're friends and---"

"No," he interrupted. "We are more than friends. What we have is beyond friendship. What I feel for you is so much more than friendship."

"I said I would think about it," I repeated. "Please. I just need time."

He grabbed my hand and held it to his lips. "Okay, okay. Whatever you say, baby. Just please remember that I can't live without you."

"We've been broken up for more than eight or nine months," I retorted, "and you're still alive."

"But I still saw you," he said. "We still hung out." He lowered his voice. "And we still made out plus a few other very wonderful things, all great, by the way." He laughed when I blushed and looked away.

I was ashamed to admit that I still allowed intimacy between us even though we were not officially a couple. Maybe Seokjin had a point. What Jimin and I had was more of a habit than a relationship. I had fallen for him when I was only fourteen and he was fifteen. We bonded during that difficult time concerning my brother---this was something I rarely thought about because I couldn't deal with it---and now, six years later, we sort of clung to each other still.

He went off to college while I stayed home with my parents and attended community college for a year. We sort of lost touch for a bit. But when he came back home, he convinced me to apply to the same university, and once I moved to the same town, we started seeing each other again. It sort of moved very quickly after that.

I wish I could explain how magnetic Jimin is because it is hard to put into words. He can have the cutest, little boy smile on his face and act like an adorable little puppy. So sweet and playful. But at other times his eyes become shiny and dark and you can feel the waves of heat rolling off him at the same time that you are being drawn to him, like a moth to flame. It is hard to resist. I have never encountered another guy who has pulled me in like that.

That is, until I met Seokjin. His magnetism was on another level. Not only was he drawing me in a little more every second, I felt as if I were falling down into the depths of his eyes or his soul. I felt like water swirling down the drain, and it was impossible for me to find my way back up. Nor did I want to. I wanted to drown in him. I couldn't believe that I was so helpless in the presence of his otherworldly hotness. Or coolness. I couldn't tell what it was. I just knew that I had never experienced anything like it.

I thought about last night. He seemed to be eating me up with his eyes, and the tension was palpable. If he'd asked me to get into his bed, I think I would've. But the next minute he served me some tea and asked about what I was studying, as cool as if he had not altered the molecules in my body and heated up my blood. He must have known the effect he was having on me, how attracted I was to him, but he took a step back from it and did not take advantage. He was not only incredibly hot, but he was such a gentleman. A man should always be a gentleman, he had said. Oh, my! He was swoon-worthy.

"What is it?" Jimin's question brought me back to the present.

"Nothing."

"Was that sigh for me? Should we go back to your place?" he asked, his eyebrow up suggestively. He was still holding my hand.

I had to remain resolute. "Sorry. Cindy and I are still setting up the apartment." I hated that it sounded as if I was suggesting that my need for housekeeping was the only reason why I couldn't be with him. Why couldn't I just break things off definitively? Why was I such a coward?

He nodded, and the previous lustful look in his eyes was gone. "Okay. Definitely next time, yes?"

"I said I'd think about it," I repeated.

"Sure," he replied. "I will wait for you as long as it takes."

"Jimin," I said.

"Come on, babe. Let's go," he said, ignoring my warning tone.