Subs POV

I could tell Sketch and Alex were in love just by the way they looked at each other. Cause It was the same way I look at Sketch. Pain stabbed me in the chest again, every time I thought of the couple. I dropped my fork on purpose, just so I didn't have to feel the misery. It wasn't fair. Alex had the good looks, the adorable smile, and the gorgeous eyes. I had nothing. I remember the rest of it being a blur, I remember slamming my door shut and locking it. I threw a lot of stuff, and broke a lot of things. I remember wanting to scream. I wanted to say: I love you sketch, why can't you love me back?

Hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I grabbed the blankets off the bed and threw them on the floor. My heart raced, and my breathing was shallow. I fell to the floor, gasping for air.I needed comfort, I needed someone to hold me, anyone. I banged my fist against the wall, trying to hold back tears. That's when I heard the music play.

Where do I turn to when there's no choice to make?

And how do I presume when there's so much at stake?
I was so sure of it all
But what if I need you in my darkest hour?

It wasn't like the rowdy pop music I always hear on the radio, this music was calming and peaceful.

And what if it turns out there is no other?

If this is our last hope

We would see a sign, oh

We would see a sign

My breathing started to slow down.

Well I've been running from the ashes we left

Forgiveness speaks for itself but how can I forget

When there's a stain on it all

Then I only focused on the lyrics of the song, and how much meaning there was in each word. I didn't focus on the pain, or the sadness but the message in the words.

But what if I need you in my darkest hour?

And what if it turns out there is no other?

We had it all

If this is our time now

We wanna see a sign, oh

We would see a sign

So give us a sign

I need some guiding light

Children of darkness, oh

I listened to the song on repeat, until I heard a knock at the door.

"Can I come in?"

Corl. That was Corl's voice. I never considered Corl as a comfort person. He was always the one who made up the weird intros. This one video, he had told me I was his favorite, I assumed it was a joke. Corl took my hands, I felt like I was about to collapse. I wrapped my hands around his neck, and cried on his shoulder.

"Hey it's alright." He said softly, " It's going to be alright."

I mouthed, thank you. We both fell on the bed, Corl wrapped his arm around me. It wasn't the I-love-you sort of snuggle, it was the I-feel-for-you-and-I'm-sorry snuggle. We stayed like that for a couple minutes, until Corl got up.

"I gotta make a vid." He hesitated before leaving the room," You'll be fine, right?"

I nodded my head as he walked out the door.

I glanced at the piano I normally used as a desk. Papers were neatly stacked on the instrument. I considered selling it but my parents had convinced me to keep it, and even tried to get me in lessons. I eventually stopped going, and soon quit. I felt the odd urge to start over, to start playing again. I sat down on the chair, and carefully placed the papers on the floor.

I looked at a sheet of music that was buried beneath the stack. I carefully pulled it out, and placed it on the piano. I began to play. The notes on the music sheet looked like a foreign language. I began to mess up; I slammed my fist against the keys in anger.

I can't do it. I'm a failure. Why am I trying?

I started over again.

I can do it I'm an achiever I'm doing this because ...

My thoughts faltered; why was I doing this?

This is my voice.

I played until I got every note and rhythm right.

Days, months, and weeks went by and I practiced. I watched YouTube videos on music, and learned how to read sheet music. It was like I could speak a different language.