Taking baths used to be fun.

They used to be relaxing.

Now, it just gave me time to be alone. When I would close my eyes, I would see images and memories. Flashes of the past that came rushing back made me question everything I once thought I knew. Having the knowledge was different because it made me realise that it happened to me. Not some little girl in the past, but me.

With the steam slowly filling up the room, I tucked my body closer together and sighed with my head resting on my knees. There I saw it again, pictures of a childhood that were so vivid and clear in my mind that I felt like it happened yesterday. All I felt was disappointed and betrayed.

Disappointed that I was too weak and decided to pretend that none of it had happened and betrayed that I would do anything like leave Kana behind.

There were so many questions I had. So many instances of disbelief that I just wanted to double-check that this was really happening, that this wasn't some kind of twisted dream and that I've finally become whole again.

I opened my eyes and found myself thinking about what to do next.

Ignorance is bliss, people would always say.

I disagreed. No matter how horrible the truth is, no matter how unhappy or anxious it made you, no matter how many people you would lose, it was always better than living a life with no choice.

You had no power to change anything, you were only left to rely on the people who knew what they were doing. What kind of a life was that? Living every day wondering what was coming next because you didn't even know what was happening.

Ignorance is bliss, they would say.

They were wrong.

~~~

Tracing the scar on my neck made me feel a kind of euphoria I didn't know was possible.

Having the memory of what most would consider a traumatic event made me feel all the more powerful. Instead of cowering away in fear, I stood in front of the mirror and smiled, embracing the memory. When I was seven, running for my life, I managed to survive.

All alone, I managed to survive.

If I could do that, I could do anything.

I left the bathroom eventually and changed into the clothes Yua had so kindly given me. I was aware of someone waiting outside the door for me, impatient as ever as he paced up and down the hallway. Still, I had realised that they needed me as much as I needed them, so there was no need to feel pushed around by them.

I took my time slipping the clothes onto my body and slowly taking in my surroundings because who knows how long I would be here for and a part of me didn't mind that. Uncertainty used to scare me, and it still does, but I was content with the situation because I had Kana. Having Kana automatically made every situation okay.

I had changed a lot over the years, and no doubt he would've as well.

He wasn't the same little boy I knew, yet he was.

I finally stepped out of the bathroom to be met with yellow eyes squinted into a glare. Raiden let out a loud tsk and began to walk very quickly in front of me, "Fucking women."

I glared at the back of his head, "I don't want to smell like you."

He paused and turned back to look at me, as if he couldn't believe what I had said, "Huhhhhhhh?!"

"I said I don't want to smell like you. Is there a problem? Because you stink and I don't want to be associated-"

Before I could finish my sentence, a voice yelled out from the bottom floor, "Oh, just shut up already and get down here! You had one job, you dog."

Raiden's ears turned pink as he practically jumped down the stairs to scream at him, leaving me standing there, wondering what I should do. I turned to stare at the way we had just come from, subconsciously looking for any trace of Kana.

I walked down the stairs and glanced around the area. A part of me longed to see him. He was my other half and the sole reason for my existence. The other half was scared about how much more I'd learn, how much more I'd change to the point of no return. I still couldn't help but think of him as such a source of comfort.

I closed my eyes and there he was as clear as day.

"Ryuu!" Yua waved at me with a huge smile on her face, as if we had been friends forever. "What are you doing? Ah! Maybe you're looking for Yuzu? Well, too bad! He's not here."

I tried to ignore her and tried not to give her the reaction she craved. Instead, I continued walking down the stairs and took a seat on a couch, resting my cheek on my knees with my eyes closed. Even so, that didn't stop Raiden from glaring at me. Glaring at me so intensely as if he thought is he glared hard enough, I might just disappear. Of course, to Sora, I didn't exist at all.

The more and more I began to remember, the more I noticed how he was such a big part of my life. There was no way I would be alive if it wasn't for him. Physically, I would be dead. It was as simple as that. I owed him my life.

Mentally, he also shaped a lot of my morals and ideals. It was easy to say he was a part of me, but I meant it. He is solely the reason I am who I am today. It wasn't my teacher, my family or anyone else, it was all him. There was no one else for me to lean on.

Emotionally, he was there at my lowest. He was there when no one else, and the same goes the other way. We were just two kids whose entire world was each other. I was content living the rest of my life like that, just us two forever.

I was too dependent on him. Maybe that's why I decided to forget it all because the separation was heartbreak enough.

"What with that attitude, huh?"

I opened my eyes and glanced at Raiden, his eyes bright with anger.

"All this time you've been treating us like everything revolves around you, but aren't you acting pretty high and mighty for something who's nothing more than dead fucking weight?"

Sora paused his game, all of a sudden intrigued.

"You think you're some kind of bigshot?" He continued, seeming like his anger and frustrations were never-ending. "You're acting all cocky for no fucking reason because you think you're important or something?? Ryuuko, Ryuuko, Ryuuko!"

I sighed and closed my eyes once more, not even feeling a single speck of emotion towards him. I was tired and just wanted time to myself to sort out my thoughts, but there he was, barking at me and needing some kind of validation.

When I didn't respond, he grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and lifted me out of my seat, startling me because I didn't think he would actually resort to violence. Then again, I didn't know him at all to make an assumption like that.

"Don't you dare ignore me just because you know I'm right," We were nose-to-nose at this point, with me dangling in the air and him holding me up with no effort.

I didn't know what to say to him.

Looking at them all, they may have been just as confused as I was. I was an outsider in their gang and they were as thick as thieves. In a way, I was kind of relieved. Seems like Kana was surrounded by people who really valued each other. If they had accepted me with open arms, I would've hated it more.

I still hated Yua. She was watching, the same way you would watch a movie with a smile on your face.

Without responding, I rolled my eyes and spat on his face, grinning in satisfaction when he just gaped at me. The feeling of victory was very short-lasting because, in a split second, he threw me back like a ragged doll.

I fell back onto the staircase, hitting my arm at an awkward angle, but I was alright. I sat myself up and watched as he started yelling profanities and scrubbing at his face like I was a vermin he wanted no association with.

All of a sudden, he was in front of me, and his fist had collided with my cheek.

I guess I deserved it.

That didn't stop me from grabbing his arm and kneeing him.

"Why does Yuzu even care about someone like you?" He cried out, desperate and confused.

For about five minutes, we kicked, scratched, bit, punched, slapped, pulled, and hurt each other as much as we could without the use of our quirks. Honestly, it was a childish way of venting out anger and frustration, and we both knew it.

That didn't stop us at all.

We yelled and used each other for our own personal gain. At this point, we were rolling around on the floor mindlessly throwing attacks at each other, gaining a little bit of satisfaction when the other grunted in pain. I hated this situation. I couldn't understand the way any of them thought, most of all Kana.

Why didn't he look for me all these years?

Why isn't he explaining anything?

Why is he just leaving me with a bunch of strangers?

Where has he been all this time?

What does he expect me to do now?

It was such a heavyweight on my shoulder that I didn't know what else to do apart from retreat into a corner and think about what to do next. With my fist in his hair and my feet on his stomach, Sora very casually spoke up.

"The sports festival is soon," For the first time since I got here, he looked at me. "What are you going to do?"

Raiden paused his attack, slowly removing his elbow from my ribs and shuffling away from me as if the teacher had told him playtime was over.

Sora was still looking at me, "What are you doing to do?"

I tilted my head back and supported my side, staring at the ceiling. I counted to three and then glanced at Yua, who was smiling at me. "What can I do?"

She hopped out of her chair and laughed in amusement, happy that I had finally admitted defeat. I realised there was no point in me trying to defy them because what would I get out of it? Would I satisfy my pride? Was that what it was? What did pride give me?

Nothing.

"Obviously, you shouldn't go to the sports festival. This isn't a very good time to have the entire nation watching you, because it could be brought back to us!"

"If that's the case, why did you decide to reveal yourselves now? Isn't that counterproductive?"

She shook her head, "Didn't you hear me? The entire nation will be watching the sports festival, eager to get a sight of the future heroes of Japan! So that means...!"

"You can do what you want?"

"Bingo!" She clapped her hands, and then looked at me, with that familiar look in her eyes. "It's not like you wanted to be a hero in the first place, right?"

I didn't respond.

"Any questions?"

"Just a few," I replied. "Who are you all, and what am I to you?"

They all glanced at each other as if they were reciting some kind of unspoken rule amongst themselves. Raiden smiled and flipped me off, "We can't reveal that kind of information to an outsider."

"Besides," Sora grinned. "You haven't been through the initiation yet."

~~~

😃

Well that just happened. I think low-key Ryuu has lost it like just a tad imo 😃

Okay so I know I said hiatus but no matter how I see it there are only two options.

1. No hiatus but the time between each update will increase

2. Hiatus for maybe 3-5 months and then updates like it has been so far.

sora lemme just take care of you. Treat you right. Give you the world kinda thing ygm.

Love you all! Mainly Sora 😍😍😍