I didn't dare turn around.

Raiden's face immediately lit up as he rushed forwards with a huge smile on his face. Sora sat up, gingerly staring behind me, still wrapped in his burrito. Even Yua closed her notebook, her thumb trapped as a placeholder.

My instincts were screaming at me to just freeze.

I was scared to turn around. Of course, I didn't know who was behind me, but I knew if I turned around then it was all over. That scared me. It scared me so much to the point where I wanted to close my eyes and pretend none of this was happening.

While I've always wanted his day to arrive, I was scared when it came down to the moment. The life that I remember has always been very consistent. Nothing was the way I wanted it to be, but at least I knew what to expect and what was going to come up. Even if that meant every day I would wonder and wonder what came before, I was content in a way.

A part of me has always been scared that when I remember everything, I'll change so drastically that I won't even recognise myself anymore. A part of me wasn't ready to remember everything I so desperately forget so long ago. A part of me wasn't ready to throw away all the 'normal' parts of my current life. School. Friends. Homework. Dreams about the future.

Who's Yuzu?

Who am I?

I've been Sakata Ryuuko for the longest time, and I didn't just want to become someone else. Memories and experiences shape who you become. If I had a flood pour into my brain, there were sure to be parts that wash away. I couldn't imagine going home to Akki and Izaya and everyone with all this new knowledge. Now that I think about it, they probably know something has happened.

I didn't come home from school, apparently, I had a tracker in the scarf so now they don't know where I am. I can't believe they had a tracker on me my entire life.

What about school? Was I meant to drop out now? I didn't want to do that. I love it there and I love all the new people and things I've learned. Todoroki and I were finally starting to become friends, I didn't want to give that up. Am I getting ahead of myself? Am I drastically overcomplicating it all and jumping to the worst possible conclusion?

I heard shuffling.

"Don't come any closer."

I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself, pretending it was a strong shield that could protect me from any harm. I covered my ears with my hands and closed my eyes. My arms were tingling and my body was on very high alert. I couldn't stop shivering no matter how cuddled up I was. Even though I haven't even turned around yet, I could already feel my eyes brimming up with tears.

It's going to happen, either way, I couldn't keep on delaying it. God, I was terrified.

Three, two, one.

I turned around.

He had silky black hair that reached his neck and the biggest, beautiful green eyes I have ever seen.

I then let out the more blood-curdling scream that was humanly possible. Such a raw and painful scream that I tasted blood.

My head pounding and my vision swimming. A huge blaring sound went off in my head, like a chainsaw and a flame at the same time, splitting my brain in half. I shut my eyes tightly.

There came the wave, crashing against my skull, changing and rearranging everything I thought I once knew.

An intense shock pierced my eyes, like the blade of a sword. My eardrums felt like they were being placed in boiling water. Shockwaves sharp as knives were slashing through everything nerve in my body. I collapsed onto the floor, not able to handle the pain. I covered my head tightly, feeling like all my insides could just shatter.

My ability to think clearly started stalling and the scene before me became a huge blur.

A thousand memories came rushing back like a tsunami, and my brain couldn't handle all the sudden information overload. I couldn't distinguish between the recent memories and the old ones, so the overload in my brain made me feel like I was two people.

I flopped forwards, almost falling off the chair if it wasn't for someone who grabbed me for support.

My brain immediately sensed danger, so my body moved on instinct as I raked my claws across a hard chest.

"Aaargh, what the fuck?! I was just trying to help!"

I leapt out of the chair and turned to face them, ready to attack. I felt like I was in danger and that I was going to collapse any second now, but I defiantly wasn't going to go down without a fight.

I was straining my eyes to see, my head going fuzzy and my vision blurring along with it. There were four figures I could just barely see, and they seemed to be saying something to each other.

I cupped my ear, realising that it had been ringing and I could barely hear a thing.

As a blurry figure started to get closer, I snarled and took a step back, warning whoever it was to back off. I clutched my head and staggered a bit. With my whole body trembling, I barely had the energy to keep stood up on my feet.

I crouched down on all fours and took off towards where the most light was, hoping it was a window.

I crashed through and landed on my side, glad to get some fresh air.

It wasn't the time to relax, but I couldn't more. It was more like I didn't want to move. One part of me was perfectly content laying on the ground with my eyes close and breathing in the fresh air, while the other part wanted to run run run as fast as I could.

The sky was bright and blue, and the air was nice and cool. Scrambling up to my feet, I forced my legs to carry me further away. Whether it be a few meters or a few miles, anything to get me even a little bit further away.

Begging my body to go even a little bit faster, my bones started to creak and shift, making me feel like I was turning into something else.

I tripped and hit my head on a tree, crumpling to the floor and throwing up everything that was in my stomach.

Then, I passed out.

~~~

I woke up at sunset.

My joints and muscles ached as I sat myself up, cradling my throbbing head. I could barely remember getting outside, but I was a lot more clear-headed than I was before.

So I started crying.

The weakness in my legs and the rawness of my throat made me want to stay curled up in a ball forever, eyes closed and my mind stable. As all the regained memories were fresh, I had a really hard time distinguishing which was which and when it happened and how long ago it was. Everything was all muddled up and it made my head swim.

I felt as if my body was too heavy to carry, and my mind was too active to fall asleep yet all my brain wanted to do was rest and recuperate.

But somehow, everything made sense.

The next time I woke up, I was lying on a couch.

It was already the next day, and I was suddenly aware of how hungry I was. I slowly sat up and blinked a few times, trying to jolt myself awake. The throbbing of my head had stopped, and I was feeling a lot better.

The memories were there. They were all there. So, so fresh in my mind that it felt like it was yesterday. Just like it was yesterday.

My clothes hadn't been changed, so I was still covered in dirt. I desperately wanted to eat and take a bath, so I swung my legs off the side and followed the sound of voices.

"Peacock!"

"Kotatsu..."

"Umbrella."

"A-Anteater."

"Reindeer."

"Rain."

"Nutcracker."

"Idiot," Sora smirked. "You've already said that! How dumb do you have to be to say nutcracker twice, there are plenty of other words."

"Oh, yeah? Like what!" Raiden challenged.

"Nachos, naan, nest, nickel, newspaper." Sora easily listed out.

"Nails, nylon, nanotechnology!" Yua sang.

"Shut your mouths!" He yelled, "You're all so damn annoying, have to take everything so seriously, get a life!"

"Stop acting childish just because you lost, sore loser."

Before I could say anything, all three of them almost simultaneously turned in my direction, as if they were predators sensing a nearby prey. Usually, I would grind my teeth and stare at the ground; now, I simply stared back, waiting for someone to make the next move. What Yua was saying before echoed throughout my mind. Right now, I was weak and had no power, therefore I had no choice.

"Ew, she's awake!" Raiden complained, making a face. "I liked it better when she was sleeping."

Yua walked over to me and I stepped back, still on guard and tense. The thought of her coming anywhere near me made me want to throw up and lash out at the same time. I guess she realised it because she paused and sighed, "You must be starving, right? There's plenty of food to choose from so just go ahead. Don't mind the death stare from Raiden, you'll get used to it."

"Shut your mouth, Miketsukami, why is she just mooching off us?"

"It's not like you helped make any of it," Sora lamely replied, pushing his eggs around with a fork.

It's not like you helped, he said. It's true. Like a coward, my brain simply chose to forget everything rather than toughen up and face it. She was right. That girl with the blue hair. I started all of this but didn't have the courage to see it through.

My mouth was watering just looking at the table filled with cheese sandwiches, all kinds of toast with different spreads, eggs and a jug of orange juice and milk. Even though I was hungry, it was a bit too much. I could barely stand and I felt incredibly dizzy.

Yua pulled up a chair for me in between herself and Sora, who was adamant about pretending that I didn't exist. I wasted no time shoving as much food as I could down my throat, desperate to regain some energy and independent thought.

I felt like I was two people who couldn't seem to agree on anything except for the fact that I was starving. Starving both physically and mentally.

I ate and drank until I was stuffed to the brim, finally feeling a little bit like myself again. The boys left a bit ago, but Yua insisted on staying with me to keep me company. While neither of us said a single word, I knew that she was monitoring me, watching my every move with hungry eyes.

"Is there any way I can take a bath and have a change of clothes?"

"Of course!" She smiled, "Come and follow me, I'll show you where the baths are and lend you some of my clothes. We're going to have to go shopping and buy you some of your own, huh."

I silently followed behind her, not saying a word.

At first, I thought we were in some kind of warehouse, but it was a little different. It was way too big for just four people and instead looked like a university dorm or something.

There was a huge communal space which consisted of a game area, the kitchen and dining room, as well as just a sitting area. It was all in one big space with the exception of the kitchen being walled off.

It had a very high ceiling and the top floor was visible from the bottom, the only thing preventing you from falling was a glass pane.

I followed her up some stairs, which revealed another open space and a bunch of rooms. She opened the door to reveal a spare room, which had all the basic necessities.

"This is your new room!" She sang, obviously being the only one excited about all this. "They're all ensuites, but if you want a nicer bathroom, then it's at the end of the hall."

Why is she acting like I wanted to stay?

Still, I didn't say anything to her.

Yua walked into the room next door, and I followed her inside and realised this was her room. It had a similar set-up, but it felt a lot more occupied. Paper, notebooks and pens were scattered about on her desk, and her open closet revealed all sorts of clothes that she began to look through.

She had a red and white colour scheme, which seemed to suit her a lot. It was nicely decorated, having a red rug and white and red walls. As soon as you walked into the room, the bathroom was on your left which consisted of a shower, sink and toilet. Her single bed was pushed up against the left wall with her desk next to it, giving it a window view.

It was a nice room.

"Here you go!"

She handed me some cargo trousers and a black tank top, as well as a clean towel. I fidgeted on my feet, hated the feeling of staying still as I looked at the clothes she'd given me. "Um."

She glanced at me, a devilish smirk on her face.

"How about some underwear?"

She laughed, "Of course, of course! Since we're different sizes, it's easiest if I just give you a sports bra, isn't it?"

I didn't answer her.

"Now, now, go take your bath and we'll talk more after." She told me, which sounded friendly enough but she made it seem like I didn't have a choice.

I'm an ant, and these are the anteaters.

~~~

I hope everyone has had a great week :)

CUZ RYUU HASN'T LMAOAOAOOAOOO I'm so funny omg

okay well on a serious note this book might have a mini-hiatus after the next chapter just because I need to seriously figure out where this book is headed.

I hate planning more than anything but, in this case, I have to hahaha...:v

when I say hiatus I don't mean like MONTHS but maybe A month? or two? I seriously don't know I'll be back with more concrete information next chapter