basically I used to dig my fingernails into my palms everytime I messed up on PE but I cut them

so now we had volleyball again and I messed up again and I always say something like
'I could've [random thing I could've done to help]'
or 'I'm an idiot' 'I'm so stupid'
etc. but I say this so much that I feel like it's annoying everybody by now

so I was just swinging my arms and scratched myself while swinging them and doing it in a way that it would be hard to notice (I always swing my arms in that way, it was only a bit different)

and I'm mad

cuz it didn't give me pleasure OR make me upset

I just had a weird, empty and uncomfortable feeling

but I also felt like I have to do some sort of self harm because of how stupid I am-

THIS PE WAS JUST SO UNCOMFORTABLE BRUH-