i might not be as online this week as i am cuz im acting off or something

tw // conversion therapy mention

yo are any of yall polish and if so is conversion therapy legal here cuz im polish and idk if it is

tw homphobia/transphobia and self destructve or sth who knows
kinda personal but dont feel bad for me itll pass

since every person close to me other than the ones from my class is homophobic and/or transphobic im in the mindset of 'if nobody accepts me i might as well get rid of the problem' and i wanna either do conversion therapy or kill myself or both because either of those is gonna happen anyway, im pan so conversion therapy could posibly work for me even though those ppl are weird from what ive heard qnd its like exorcism but fuckin weird?????
i just really want to get rid of the 'problem' tbh which is literally just being nb and liking women because nobody of the people i see at least twice a week accept it and theyre gonna try to get rid of it anyways

this is probably gonna pass cuz its only the 3rd day im in this mindset and im too much of a pussy to end my life but id rather regret my decisions in the afterlife than live forcibly spending time around people who dont even know they hate me

(on top of that all i also have 14 F's that i need to fix and 8 days to do it so idk how tf im gonna manage that when im here regretting discovering im lgbtq-)