Im anorexic. I eat and my body wants to throw up. I dont want to keep the food. I dont even eat that much. One little bowl od food and imediately my body wants it out. To be honest, i do too. When i look in a mirror, i dont see this "Beautiful" girl others see. I see a fat ugly monster thats broken. I want to just cut open my stomach and see the fat go away. Deep, deep down i know im not fat but "they" tell me i am and "they" convince me its true, so i listen and call my self fat and ugly. Because maybe i am. I know its wrong. I know its stupid. But i still see an ugly nasty beast. I cant take this. But looky! Im still here. Im still miserable. Im still not good enough. Oh well when i jump off a cliff or slit my wrists ill be out of the way... Forever. Im not saying good bye yet, but i hope i can soon... Sorry to who ever reads this, i just cant with life. Alot of people say that, but they say it cause they "broke up" or "their parents dont get them". But me? I say it cause i have a past that no one would be able to handle, i can barely take it. But here i am writing my shit off to others who probably really dont give a shit. So sorry to those being disturbed by this. Bye for now.