Tamara looked at me with wonder. She sat back down with a confused look on her face. "Depends. What about him?" I pressed my lips together and looked anywhere but her face. "Um...Can I tell you a secret?" She nodded. I told her how Shawn and I had become friends. How I felt closer to him than I how I felt about any of our friends. I also told her how I felt about him. By the time I was done talking she stared at me in awe. She was speechless.

It took her two minutes to process everything. Then finally she said. "So, what's your question?" I sighed. I felt embarrassed to ask her this. Yes, he was her half brother but it's not like she knew him very well. "D-do you think, like by any chance, even if it's a little, I mean, is there-" She interrupted me mid sentence. "For God's sake Emma just talk!" A few people at the pool looked at us as if we were crazy. We both glared at them. "Do you think I have a chance with him?" She laughed. "Seriously, that's your question?" I nodded. She shook her head. "Emma, if anyone has a chance with him, it's you. I've seen the way he looks at you. So have the rest, why do you think they're so mad that you two are so close? We all know your feelings for each other are stronger than a simple friendship." I stared at her. Tamara would never lie, much less about this. I wanted to believe her so much, but I was nervous. Nervous that she was wrong.

After a while she put her hand on mine. "Go get your man." Before she left she turned around and said, "If you're feeling nervous, take a shot or two. It helps." And then she left.

What started as "a shot or two" ended up in wayyyy more than it should have. By the time I decided that enough was enough I headed out the door. I completely forgot about my mission right until the moment I saw Shawn with Ellie, who he supposedly broke up with, with their tongues in each other's throat.

The tears started falling before I even realized it. I was half way to the door when Shawn saw me and got Ellie off of him. He stopped me. "Are you okay? What happened?" I turned my head and kept walking. "Do you want to talk about it?" I stopped in my tracks. I did. They only thing I'd wanted all night was to talk to him and my chance had finally arrived. I nodded.

He led me to John's room which should have given me an idea of what was going to happen next.

At first we just sat in silence on the bed. Then he spoke. "So...are you planning on telling me why you're crying?" I sighed. "Can I tell a secret?" He nodded. "I kind of like you, like, a lot." He laughed "You, Miss, are drunk off your ass." I rolled my eyes. "Yes, I am. But I'm not lying. I swear." He stood in silence. "So, if you're not drunk, tell me. What is the square root of 2?" Are you kidding me? "Uhhh...one? " He shook his head. "You really are drunk. The number two doesn't have a square root." I thought about it. How could I have not known that? I literally just walked in his trap.

We stayed silent until he asked. "So, if you're drunk" I rolled my eyes. "I'm not drunk!" He laughed. "Whatever you say. Anyways, if you're drunk, that means you won't remember this tomorrow?" I sat with a confused face. "Remember what?" I asked him. He smiled, put his hand on my cheek and started kissing me. Like, really kissing me.

What I thought would be a peck on the lips became a full on make out and by the time we were both on the bed I had completely forgotten about his conversation with James.

My time had finally arrived, I was with the boy I loved as a friend and liked as more. It was perfect.

Then the unexpected happened, at least coming from him.

I could feel his hand going under my shirt. And then it hit me. The screenshot. I pushed him off of me. He looked at me confused.

"Emma? Are you okay?" I felt my stomach doing flips. I started feeling queasy and prepared to vomit, but I couldn't. Talking to him came first.

"Why did you tell James you only want me for sex?" His eyes widened in shock. Either I wasn't supposed to know or it was lie. "How do you know about that?" he demanded. I could tell he was mad, the vein on his neck was popping out and his hands looked ready to punch someone. "I-I-I..." I stuttered. "You what Emma!" He was yelling at me now. I breathed in, trying to keep calm. I closed my eyes and mostly whispered. "James sent me a screenshot of a conversation and you said that you wanted to ruin my friendship with my friends by having sex with me." I sighed and his hands released fist form.

I paced back and forth. Then he sat next to me, but I moved farther from him. "I'm sorry. I did say that and I'm sorry. But I just wanted to get him off my back. What I said wasn't true. At all, I swear. I'd never do that to you. I like you too much." I stayed silent for a few seconds and then finally spoke. "If you like me so much, why are you with Ellie?" "I don't know." He sighed.

As much as it hurt me, I told him to leave. I wanted to believe that what he said wasn't true but what kept me in doubt was the fact of where his hand was going. If he was willing to do that, what else did he want to do with me? I wasn't ready.

After he left I finally felt the vomit coming. I leaned over to the side of the bed. When I was done I put my head on the pillows from John's bed. I didn't even realize it but tears where coming out. I stood up only to lock the door and by the time I knew it I was crying myself to sleep.

**

I woke up to pounding on the door. When I opened my eyes I got confused for a second. Where am I? And why do I have a headache? I looked at my surroundings and realized it was John's room.

I opened the door and Vincent and Tamara were there. Tamara's eyes widened. "And for the second time in less than twenty four hours I will ask you, what happened?" I thought about it. Second time? I looked at her confused. Vincent then spoke. "You don't remember?" I shook my head no. He then said, "My baby is so grown up. Her first hang over and "what happened last night"" He put his hand up for a high five. Tamara and I both glared at him.

Then the three of us sat on the bed.

My head was on Tami's legs while she brushed my hair that looked like a rat's nest. "So Emma, do you really don't remember what happened?" asked Vincent. "I already told you, I have no idea. But I do have the suspicion that I drank-" "well no shit Sherlock" said Tamara. "Because" I continued. "My head feels like it's going to explode and there's puke on the floor." They both made a face. "Oh, I thought that smell was you. Gross." I glared at Vincent. He looked away embarrassed. "I'll go get you an aspirin."

He went downstairs and left Tamara and me alone in the room. She stopped stroking my hair and I tried standing up but got really dizzy. I lied down again. After seconds of silence she spoke. "I saw you come up here yesterday with Shawn a while after we talked about the possibility of you two being together. Your clothes are a disaster and your hair is a mess. If you ask me I'd say you two..." I opened my mouth and shock. "Don't you dare finish that sentence. Jesus, Tamara! What goes on in that head of yours? You know I'd never let that happen." She tried to contain her laugh. "Just cheking."

Five minutes later Vincent came in with an aspirin, a glass of water and my phone. "Drink this quickly. You have forty missed calls from your mom, it was nice meeting you." My hand went to my forehead. "Shit!" I quickly took the pill and grabbed my phone. My mom was calling again. I went down to the yard to talk.

"Hello? Mom?" I said, my voice quivering. "You are in so much trouble young lady. Where are you?" "John's house." "I'm going to go get you right now." And she hung up. Forty missed calls just for that.

***

I got inside my mom's Prius and she said nothing. When we got the apartment the only thing she said was "Go get showered, we'll talk later."

When I was in the shower I tried remembering what happened at the party but the only thing that I could remember were the texts that James sent me before. I couldn't even remember if I'd confronted Shawn or not and the loud bang inside my head was not helping.

As soon as I'd showered and changed clothes my mom was waiting for me in the living room. She'd made coffee and had a sandwich on a plate for me to eat. I realized I hadn't eaten probably since before the party. My stomach growled loudly.

I sat down and devoured my sandwich. Then I began drinking the coffee. My mom looked at me with a look difficult to describe. It was something between anger, disappointment and sadness. "Would you like to explain to me what happened?" I shook my head. "No, but I will anyway. But please don't get mad." My mom jokingly took her sandal off. "I won't I promise." She said with a smile. Things only Latino kids know.

"Okay, so, I got mad that you and dad finally signed the divorce papers so I drank a little bit." She raised her eyebrow at me. "Okay I drank a lot. Then John invited us to a party since his parents were on their anniversary and I went there and... well, I don't remember what happened next." She breathed in loudly. I could tell she was trying hard not to lose her patience.

After a few minutes she said, "Go to your room and give me your phone. You're grounded. There's aspirin on the counter." I gave her my phone and she went to her room. As disappointed as she was in me, I knew she was a little disappointed in herself. First, she left the man she once loved and then her youngest daughter got wasted. It hurt me just as much.

I slept for a few hours and woke up at six. I went to my mom's room and found her crying on her bed. I ran over and hugged her. "I just got fired. From the school and the therapy center." What were we going to do?

At dinner time it was silent and I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand the fact that I'd ruined so many relationships with the people I love that the only thing that happened between us was silence. "What are we going to do now?" I asked her. She took a drink from her glass of water. "Vincent's dad told me about a school in Florida that needs a psychologist. The principal is his best friend, he said he'd put in a good word for me." I smiled. At least we had something.

"Christmas Eve is tomorrow, what will we do?" I asked. She sighed. "I don't know honey. I was planning on telling your dad if he wanted you to spend Christmas with him but he's in Georgia visiting your grandparents." I nodded. "So it's you and me then?" She smiled. "You and me."