December was finally coming in and everyone was dying to study and pass finals. But the biggest exam of the semester was in a few hours and everyone was going crazy. The history exam that every junior in The Town High School is afraid of.

A few hours until the exam and I got asked the dumbest question Shawn has ever asked. "Do you like Vincent? I mean, of course you like him but do you, like, like like him?" Of course I said no. He was my best friend, but those feelings didn't surpass friendship. I could never feel more than love as brother for Vincent. He's like the younger brother I never had.

Weeks passed since the camping trip. My friends and I had become close again. Not as close as we were before but closer than we were before the trip. They acted okay about my friendship with Shawn and not because they trusted my life decisions but because he was Tamara's half brother. Even if he wasn't my friend we all had no choice but to respect him.

Also, Shawn and I were becoming closer every day. We had left any kind of past we had behind us and concentrated on the future. It was all that mattered since we were only a year and a half until we left for college, we wanted to try and become friends until then. It would be hard but maybe I'd be easier next year, when we were all seniors and hopefully more mature.

A few minutes before the exam I was really stressing. I was beginning to sweat and my hands were shaking. History was one of my worst classes and this exam was all I needed to get my grade up. Shawn snuck up on me.

"Hey Emma!" He noticed my nervousness and said, "Come here." He took me in his arms and rubbed my back. He then kissed my head, probably hoping to calm me down. Little did he know that it made my pulse go faster.

Why, if I was so crazy about him did I not tell him what I felt about him? You might ask. Trust me, I asked myself the same thing over and over again. And I would have told him if it wasn't for the fact that he had asked a girl on a date. He told me that he didn't want to wait for me. He wasn't going to stay in the friendzone forever. So, he decided to make a move on a girl that was just as head over heels for him as me. Only difference was that he actually liked me. Okay, that was rude. Sorry Ellie!

Ellie James. She wasn't bad, nor was she good. She was okay. She wasn't much but I didn't tell Shawn. It wasn't okay for me to break his heart and then tell him to get a new girlfriend. That's just being an a* hole. And we finally had a good thing going on, I wasn't about to tell him that the girl he liked wasn't good enough for him.

***
I finished the test very quickly, faster than I had in mind which made me question if I even got half of my answers right.

A few minutes after, my friends finally started coming to the cafeteria. I'd already eaten since I was hungry and didn't want to wait for them.

Vincent sat beside me and I placed my head on his shoulder. It felt good to finally be in good terms with all of my friends. This was freedom to me. Too bad Shawn and I had already turned in our arts project. Turns out the "big lesson" that Mrs. Thomas had planned was just how most people had the same general idea about freedom and liberty.

Even if I did feel very at place now with my friends, the awkward silence was noticeable from miles away. It was like we couldn't be together without talking or else it felt weird. Fake, even. I couldn't remember the last time things were this awkward between us. It was sad, really. How much and how fast people can drift apart.

***

Winter break came fast enough. I was finally free from drama, boys and awkward silences. And my favorite activity of vacation was right around the corner: the winter soccer tournament. It was held every year on the first week of winter break. All the neighboring towns have a huge soccer tournament. The Town had never won but we were sure that we would this year. We had been training really hard after all.

The last week of school we had double training session. Two hours in the morning and two hours after school. It was a good thing that Ashley had nothing on me now since she was horrible as team captain and Coach Jennings was certain we had a chance this year. Third time's a charm right? Too bad it was actually our fourth year competing.

Three days before the tournament we were training for the last time before Tuesday. We had almost twenty minutes left when Shawn appeared and sat on a bench near the soccer field. I'd like to think that he sat there because of me. He sat on the bench alone, instead of being with his friends. He looked down at his phone and once in a while he would look at me play. Of all the places he could have sat, of all the places he could have been, he sat there and watched me play. The only place where we could mutually see each other no matter where I was.

My fantasy was soon ended when I saw Ellie come up behind him. She hugged him from behind, sat down beside him and then kissed him. They kissed for a while. I was sure the sound of my heart breaking was heard from afar. I knew they were dating but I never imagined that would happen.

I could feel a tear coming down my cheek. I quickly passed my hand by my face. Coach Jennings was calling me. "Reynolds! Are you okay?" I nodded. "Sure thing coach!" But I wasn't. I was lost during that practice game. And I'm sure Shawn knew it because a while after he had left with Ellie and her sister, Ericka, who was also on the team.

***

The next three days were nothing but relaxation. I couldn't go to the tournament feeling stressed, that could cost the whole team our first win of the Winter Cup.

When the day finally arrived it happened in a blur. To be honest, I don't exactly remember what happened. Well, I don't exactly remember the part where I played. I know that we won our first games and got to the next round, that was more than we'd ever gotten. The next day I saw Shawn and Ellie there. I got sick after that and wouldn't eat. I'd never been so nervous. I played the rest of the games. Then the day of the final arrived. We really had improved. Then I got scared, didn't have breakfast that morning and fainted in the first twenty minutes. I was in the hospital for a day.

That really wasn't new to me, being in the hospital. People always wondered how I lost the weight from seventh grade to junior year. I'm not proud it. There's nothing I regret the most. But it took a few trips to the hospital for me to get to how I am. Thanks Shawn! But I'm okay now. And I was okay then. Fear makes us do dumb things.

After being informed that we won, I got sort of yelled at by my coach for not eating. Then by my friends. Then by my parents (which like always, ended in a fight) and finally by Shawn, who didn't really yell at me. He just punched me in the arm and then hugged me. I really wished they'd all have done that.

**
Days after the whole hospital situation my parents fights were getting worse. Yes, they had been fighting since my brother, Logan, and I had been little. But they were definitely becoming more frequent.

They stopped for a while when Logan came home two weeks before Christmas. But the fighting still wouldn't stop. Most days my parents were not home. They were working a lot. So Logan and I would use that time to catch up. I told him about Shawn, and how I liked him but he liked another girl to which he responded "Then he's an idiot." I also told him about the weird vibes with my friends, and how Tamara was actually Shawn's half brother. He told me he already knew that, since apparently he and Steven were friends and he'd told him.

He told me his stories from college. He was studying biomedical sciences as pre-med at New York University. I wish I was there with him, but instead I was stuck in California with a whole lot of pointless high school drama.

Logan also told me how he had a girlfriend and she was coming over for the New Year. He was planning on giving her their first kiss at midnight. I wished all guys were as nice as him.

At night was when things would get ugly. My parents would both come home mad for I don't know what reason. As soon as they started yelling Logan would go out with his old high school friends and I'd sneak over to Shawn's house where we would watch movies with his family until late at night. He would always hold me in his arms and wouldn't let go of me until I had to leave.

By eleven I would go to my house again and my parents would be asleep. It was becoming a routine. Neither Logan or I would be home until it was late. It was getting harder and harder to see my parents. Of course Logan and I had discussed about the chance of our parents getting a divorce, we just never thought they actually would.