H E R M I O N E ' S S T O R Y

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I GOTTA STAY HIGH
ALL MY LIFE TO FORGET
I'M MISSING YOU

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0.3
Hermione is one of those people; she grew up as an Asian rights activist and to this day, still is an Asian rights activist. A notable feat about her personality is that she's super triggered and plays four instruments-the saxophone, the saxophone, the saxophone and the saxophone. She hates the word 'white privilege' and will literally kill anyone who dares utter the syllables.

The first time she buried someone in the backyard was at the age of three. A white man entered her house and began making tea for no particular reason.

Then he said, "Let us all gather around this holy cup of liquid and pray to the illuminati."

That was when Hermione knew she was destined to be an Asian rights activist. Now, she's homeless and sells marijuana for a living. She also leads the most popular protest organisation in the universe; 'Fuck White People' is now a famous phrase said by a large amount of Homo sapiens.

Join 'Fuck White People' today and live life to the fullest.

Hermione's childhood is a tragic one. Shunned by society and cast down to the bottom of the school hierachy, she survived by letting other people copy her homework. Living as an emo teenager in a Chinese household was not easy. Fortunately, her family was kind and understanding, choosing to send her to a military boot camp somewhere in the midst of North Korea instead of getting her a tutor.

During Hermione's last year in hell, Satan made a proposition; if she could kill a certain number of people in an hour, she would gain another ethereal form. The "I'm a typical white bitch named Jennifer who has to take Spanish booster" was the only ethereal form she had not collected in her ethereal form collection. A few honorable mentions in Hermione's ethereal form collection include the "My name's Bronwyn-echinoderms!" and the "Seraiah is what they call me and I'm a slut for West Side Story and musicals, also I'm super exotic because The Caterpillar Project and depression is my best friend" form, which is obviously Hermione's most prized ethereal form judging by the extremely long title.

She made the right choice by accepting the deal. Hermione managed to kill everyone in her neighbourhood except for her family because, obviously, like the popular saying goes, water is thicker than blood. She became notorious due to her complete ethereal form collection, and began getting paid to kill people. In a way, she had become an assassin. Hermione thought her life was perfect until some unwanted feelings began to surface; the time had come for Satan to collect her soul. Willingly, she bared her pure, innocent life essence to him and he screamed, "Did you just assume my gender?" before stealing her gender instead of her soul.

This is where ISIS comes in; as a genderless person living in a community where there are no genderless toilets available, ISIS offered Hermione an escape from the limits of Earth. They sent her to Mars and she has been living there ever since.

What's a good story without a sidekick? On Mars, Hermione met Kate, a kool chik. Apparently, Kate was the only known runaway trombonist who could play 'Flight of the Bumblebee' on the trombone. She originated from a band called 'Lol Memes & Skool.' Their vocalist, Meyrisah, had been converted into a sexy beast with no stopping. The limits of her sexiness affected Kate's people in many different ways; symptoms include developing severe blindness and bubos. Kate, being the selfless person she was, dropped a bomb on planet Doge and killed all its inhabitants, herself not included. She soon left to become part of something greater-summer band.

Happy for her friend, Hermione bid Kate farewell and stuffed some boogers inside of Kate's bag so she wouldn't have to throw them herself.

This was time in which she was content with her life; Hermione spent her days doing absolutely nothing. However, an astronaut took pity on her genderless state and killed her with a fidget spinner. The Hermione you see in the story is a reincarnated form of the previous Hermione.

Now, Hermione must face a new set of challenges-puberty, puberty and puberty. Will she survive? Or will she fall into the depths of the awkward bowl cut pit?

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Author's note:

There are actually people in this world who suffer from a disease called AGET (Asian genderless emo teenager). This chapter is not meant to be taken lightly and was written to bring awareness to this rare condition. Support people suffering from AGET at fuckwhitepeople.com today!

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