A/N: Dear random person passing by:
Don't read this. You'll regret it.

Aqua walks up to her husband hesitantly.
"Drake?"
The enderman hybrid turns his head. "Yeah?"
The elf blushes, looking down. "I have... Something to tell you."
"What's that?"
"I'm... I'm pregnant." Aqua says, smiling.
"Aww, that's awesome!" Drake grins. "Looks like our hard work payed off!!"
Aqua looks away. "Uh, I have something else to tell you." She hesitates. "Well... It's not your kid..."
His smile vanishes and he gives her a skeptical glare.. "Who's is it then?"
"Grayson's." Aqua replies, her face turning bright red.
Drake stares at her for a couple seconds.
"I'm sorry honey... It was an accident." The elf says.
But to her surprise, the enderman hybrid grins at her. "Hey, I forgive you! But let's have some fun in bed tonight!" He winks.
Aqua smiles, wrapping her arms around Drake. "Anything for you, dear."
They hold each other tightly for a few moments.
Suddenly, the window shatters. Drake lets out a shrill scream, clutching his wife.
"I'LL PROTECT YOU, DARLING!" Aqua caterwauls, grabbing her favorite dagger off the kitchen counter, and leaping towards the window.
"Hello." A voice says. Aqua turns around, and seated atop the toaster behind her is a scruffy pine marten with unusual spiral markings on her cheeks and silvery blue ears.
"It's you." Aqua snarls. "Why are you here?"
"Quiet, you. I've only come to deliver a message." Breeze announces, clearing her throat.
"Well, deliver it already and then get the hell out of here."
Breeze smiles, then leans forward to whisper three simple words into the elf's ear.
"I ship it."
The pine marten looks straight into Aqua's eyes, waiting for the elf to process what had been said.
Aqua's eye begins twitching, and her mouth forms into an even bigger frown.
Suddenly, Aqua swings her sword, attempting to slice the marten in half, but Breeze makes a run for it, scattering pieces of glass everywhere before quickly leaping out the window.