Written in January 2021

There was nothing in the world that I feared more worst than death, I always knew and believed that until this moment now. I remembered Mother always told me, you cannot trust anyone and that they are bound to hurt and use you. That is what humans do: use and hurt people. I was always feared by everyone as they gave me cold and hated glances. They wanted to use me, and why should I allow myself to be vulnerable for that? When I was young, Mother tried to tell me that I should not trust them, but I refused to listen and I ended up getting hurt. That is the last time I ever trusted anyone, and I began to believe you cannot rely on anyone, but yourself. You cannot trust anyone, but yourself. I knew what their feared glances meant, they wanted to kill me. But since I was always inside those walls, it would never happen. Instead I would prefer to punish those weak humans that bring pity among themselves that deserve being cursed. Everyone else deserved to die. Why should I give out love and trust to those who would just hurt me? That is what humans do. That is what we are incapable of. But I refuse to be hurt and show interest with anyone else. I believed if I get close to anyone, they would pretend to be nice until they get what they want. That is when they would strike and hurt me. That is why I only pushed them away, and remain cold and bitter to them all. And the one I did get close to.....Never mind if that happened then this world would be a better place. I always thought that.

But now even after I tried to change I am being punished. I knew it, this is my retribution for everything I did. But they did deserve it. This is for all my sins. Even as I tried to be good to save myself, I have one more option so he never face the penalty I caused.

"Let him go! It is I you want, not him."

"I will keep him where he is until you side of the agreement is completed, dearest one."

"Will I die?"

"No harm shall come to you."

"Don't do this! You do realize if you do this than-"

But I shook my head. He was about to say something else, but his voice was cut off to the punishment I was receiving. I felt light. It did not hurt, strangely. I looked up and her face was the last I saw before darkness overtook me.

~~~

I was nothing. I could not move. I could not do a thing, but watch. I was not dead. I rather be dead than force to do what I was doing now. I thought what I did would save everyone else from being penalized, but I was wrong. It has been four months already and I want it to end. Every desperate moment I wish for it to end and hope that they will somehow get out of this.

"Have you done as I commanded?" The true sentencer's voice rings out, but I could only watch and stare as he goes to her refusing to give up on me.

"...Yes." He mumbles quietly.

"I can't hear you."

"Yes, My Lady." He sighs.

"This pettiness is unlike you. Really, I expected more. If you do not like working from me, you can simply say no. I would never force you here against your own will. You have served me well these past few months, after all."

"...You know fully why I'm still here." I could only watch. I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell him to give up. I wanted him to leave and run away. I wanted to be dead. But no he would always be here for me.

"You are still enraptured with this girl. I think she is lovelier now than she has ever been before. She does not talk back, she does not rebel, and she does everything I tell her to do." I could just watch as I was just forced to obey and do as she says. Nothing more, nothing else. There was no soul in my body and my real soul could only watch in despair. I was a puppet. "She is far more obedient this way." It hurts me. I want to die already, but I simply cannot. "I prefer it, don't you agree, dearest?"

"Yes..." I was forced to choke out. But all it sounded like was someone under a trance that spoke. It sounded empty like a shell. Like a human without a mind or soul. That was this. It was my punishment.

"You made her like this. Of course you would think so." He snarled as he glared at the mistress.

"Oh, but she isn't dead. Isn't that why you continue to stay here? Out of some desperate hope you would be able to break her out of this spell? Return her to the way she was?" She laughed. I wanted to show pity. I wanted to be with him and leave this place. I wanted to show him I was here inside, only watching. But I could not. I was not able to.

He said nothing.

"How foolish. I must assure you that there is no way to reverse this spell." She sweetly smiled. "If she been a good girl and done as she was told in the first place she would not have to be like this. Indeed, because you interrupted to initial process of things there was no way for me to restore and obtain the power without taking her spirit." No, it not his fault. I just wanted to help. If only I did not care for them. Then this would never happened, but in a way if I never did this then I would never realize happiness. "In a way...You made her into this. She sacrificed herself for you. You have nobody to blame but yourself."

"Stop it." He gritted his teeth. "You didn't have to do this. You didn't have to hurt her."

"I do love her. Deeply, as any doll is to a girl. It is quite a shame you cannot recognize that. I have only acted a benefit of my kind. One day you will accept that. I know she already has, am I right, dearest?" One day... I hope we both can escape.

But for now I will be a puppet or a doll in her case. "Yes..."

I starred off into space and try to remember everything that happen and how it started. What could I of done to prevent this outcome?

It started on a day like any other...