1. Dr. Uzumaki is not allowed to feed anything with peanut butter to Kain.

2. Telling new researchers that you can tame with a rolled-up newspaper and a tummy rub is right out.

3. No longer allowed to challenge Able to unwinnable games like tic-tac-toe. It was three weeks before Able conceded a draw.

4. SCP-018  is not to be taunted! (Neither is SCP-682)

5. Giving 113 to Diogenes is just plain pointless.

6. Attempting to disprove 343, to 343, is a horrible idea. Agents are still studying the resulting paperweight, supposedly so heavy that 343 should not be able to lift it.

7. While it is true that "No one expects the SCP Inquisition!", that is only because there is no such thing.

8. Dr. Uzumaki is not king of anywhere. Or queen.

9. SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes.

10. SCP-963 is not to be used for recreational or procreational purposes. (Not even if Dr. Palmer asks nicely.)

11. There is no market for SCP brand pornography (No, not even in Germany. It may create some revenue if sold in Japan, but still; 682 on [DATA EXPUNGED]... Jesus Christ man.)

12. Should not replace the buckshot in Dr. Clef's shotgun shells with any of the following: birdseed, confetti, cake sprinkles, sawdust, or glitter.

13.  Better Business Bureau is not the correct agency for dealing with containment failures from horrible eldritch artifacts sold by Marshall, Carter, and Dark.

14. He is not allowed to download the app "MalO ver1.0.0". (We're still recovering from the latest... [DATA EXPUNGED] that has happened)

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