"Say hi to your uncles, Angad," cooed Sanjana.

Angad was deafened by a cacophony of 'HI!'s from his uncles that would have terrified him even if he had not just arrived to the world.

"HI, ANGAD," yelled Hardik once everyone had finished. "HI! I AM YOUR GODFATHER, HARDIK PANDYA!"

A dozen people coughed.

"What did you say, Harry?" asked Virat politely.

"You don't need to know," said Hardik. "It's between me and my godson."

"Godson?" scoffed Rohit. "You fancy yourself his godfather? The poor kid'll want to go right back into the womb if such a thing was allowed."

Hardik looked astonished.

"As for his godfather, of course I am his godfather," said Rohit.

"Says who?" demanded Virat.

"Says me," said Rohit with utmost confidence. "Jassi chose me."

"WHEN?"

"Didn't he, Sanjana?" asked Rohit.

"I am not entirely sure he had a godfather in mind, Rohit bhaiya," said Sanjana, chortling. "But if he told you, I am sure he decided on you."

"He didn't tell me yet," admitted Rohit. "But it is of course not a question."

"Excuse me right there, Rohit Sharma," said Virat. "Jassi has not told you because you are not to be Angad's godfather, I am going to be."

"He told you?" asked Bhuvi, jaw dropping. He sounded...disappointed.

"Don't say you're going to join in the fight, Bhuvi," said Jinks, lips twitching.

"If there is a fight, bring it on," shouted Hardik. "I will win at all costs."

"Against me, Hardik?" asked Jaddu smoothly.

"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO COMPETE, YOU ARE TOO IRRESPONSIBLE, JADDU," cried Hardik.

There was a roar of laughter, which was what greeted Jassi as he slipped into the ward and found his wife on a video call with little Angad in her arms.

"What's going on?" asked Jassi, and smiled when he heard the familiar voices through the phone.

"Smile while you can," said Sanjana darkly. "You are in trouble."

Jassi was besieged by a dozen 'hello, Jassi, I am your son's godfather!'s and one 'how are you, kiddo?' (the last, of course, was from Jinks).

He wisely chose to ignore most of them. "I'm alright, Jinks bhaiya. More than that, actually. It's the happiest day of my life."

"I know, right!" said Rohit. "I became a father first amongst all these guys, you know, Jass, and I have the most experience in handling a child. And we all know Jassi is my first kid, so his first kid is also my first kid."

"What a blustering moron," commented Virat. "I became father the last amongst all these guys, Jassi--well--joint with Bhuvi--and I remember the whole experience the best. And we all know I am Jassi's favourite elder brother."

"Really?" asked Jinks, and hastily smothered it with a fit of coughs as Virat looked at him out of wide, betrayed eyes.

"Quiet," said Hardik. "Quiet, quiet, quiet. I am Jassi's best friend, I will obviously be the godfather."

"You," said Rohit, "are a disaster."

"He's not a disaster, Rohit," Bhuvi couldn't help saying. "He's a great father."

Hardik beamed like a maniac.

"But you've got enough on your plate with Agastya, and I don't quite think you're cut out to be godfather, Harry," said Bhuvi at half a dozen glares and a pleading look from Jassi.

"I shan't forget this," said Hardik.

"God, stop using Victorian phrases," said Rohit. "Jassi! Jassi!"

Jassi nearly dropped Angad. "What?"

"Come on, tell everyone I'm Angad's godfather and end this stupid discussion."

"Can we--can we not, er, omit this whole godfather thing?" said Jassi nervously.

"No!" cried Hardik, horrified. "'The Godfather' is one of the highest rated movies of all times."

"What does that have to do with anything?" demanded Bhuvi.

"Plus the godfather thing is the best part of Harry Potter," said Rohit.

"What?" asked Virat.

"Ritika says it is," said Rohit defensively. "Harry Potter's godfather died to save his life."

"Wow, risky job," drawled Jaddu. "You guys better let me be the godfather. If anyone lives through it, I will."

"Harry's parents were dead and they lived in a world where the Dark Lord reigned," said Bhuvi in exasperation. "And look, honestly, everyone stop bullying Jassi."

"Don't you want to be Angad's godfather?" asked Hardik.

"I want to be, but only if Jassi wants it." Bhuvi turned his angelic gaze upon Jassi.

Jassi blinked rapidly, getting more and more flustered by the minute. It was easy to answer Hardik back, but how could he ever say no to Bhuvi bhaiya?

"I--I--"

"Jassi, I am your favourite right?"

"You are my first kiddo, Jassi--"

"You are MY BEST FRIEND."

"You are Samaira's godfather, I should be Angad's."

"You're Agastya's godfather, I should be Angad's."

"You're Vamika's godfather--"

"Hey, I am Vamika's godfather--"

"And I am Sammy's! You demote me, I demote you."

"Stop bullying the poor boy! Let him say what he wants!"

"Don't look at him like that, Bhuvi, it's not fair you have eyes like a damn angel!"

"Did you just--did you abuse Bhuvi's eyes?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"Bhuvi, stop looking at him!"

"Where am I supposed to look? I was just trying to get you guys stop bullying him."

"And emotionally blackmailing him into making you the godfather because you are stopping us from bullying him."

"Well, since I am stopping you from bullying him, maybe I should be the godfather. Isn't it, Jassi?"

"Bhuvi lost his sanity," murmured Jinks. "Now you are in real trouble, Jassi."

"I want to make you the godfather, Jinks bhaiya," whispered Jassi. "But--"

Everyone heard the whisper, of course, and started howling at the top of their lungs, and Jassi wished he hadn't forgotten it was a conference call. How could he have said it in front of everyone?

"Jinks has got cunning," accused Rohit. "Don't fall for his tricks, Jassi!"

Jinks stared.

"How," thundered Virat, "dare you call Jinks cunning?"

"You just abused Bhuvi's eyes, Virat," cried Rohit.

"How am I being cunning, anyway?" demanded Jinks.

"You're staying out of the fight," said Rohit fiercely. "You have to fight, only then it'll be fair."

"I don't want to pressurize Jassi even more than you guys are doing," protested Jinks innocently.

Or maybe not that innocently.

"Look," shouted Hardik. "He's got cunning! Even more cunning than Jaddu!"

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

"Stop laughing, Jaddu bhaiya, please," said Sanjana politely. "Angad is jerking out of sleep every time you laugh."

"Sorry," said Jaddu hastily.

"Great, that rules out one contestant," said Virat. "We can't have a godfather who makes the child jerk out of his sleep."

"Where's Mahi bhai?" asked Jaddu.

"Oh, no," said Rohit. "No, no, no, no."

"No to what?" asked Jassi.

"I see what Jad is doing. Now that he doesn't have a chance of winning, he wants to bring Mahi bhai into the scene. Then we shall all lose."

Realization dawned on Virat.

"God," he said. "You're getting smart, Ro. NO ONE ADDS MAHI BHAI BEFORE WE HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM GOING TO BE ANGAD'S GODFATHER."

"Can you please speak a little softer, Virat bhaiya?" whispered Sanjana. "Angad doesn't seem to like this din, much."

"Another contestant ruled out," said Hardik in an ostentatious whisper.

"I REFUSE TO BE--OOPS." Virat swallowed and whispered, "I refuse to be ruled out."

"Rohit is the captain and I am the vice captain," said Hardik boastfully. "We rule you out."

"Thanks," said Rohit, beaming. "And as captain, I rule you out. I am the last man standing."

"I'm not part of your team," said Bhuvi. "You can't rule me out."

"Nor me--" Jinks paused midway, and said, "Can we please stop this nonsense and let Jassi have some peace?"

"Yes, please." Jassi, of course, fell for Jinks at once.

There was a chorus of "Evil! Jinks has got evil!" 

"Who said that?" demanded Virat in a tremendous tone.

"Jassi," said Jinks significantly.

"You're openly manipulating him," said Rohit, stunned.

"Angad doesn't need a godfather," broke in Jassi, this time correctly having gotten Jinks' signal.

"He does, everyone needs a godfather!"

"Harry Potter's godfather died to save him!"

"'The Godfather' is the highest rated movie ever!"

"Then all of you can be his godfather," said Jassi.

"No, no, no," said Harry. "Too many godfathers is like--"

"Too many best friends?" asked Jassi distinctly.

Hardik went red and subsided.

"Honestly, I don't think this is at all a good idea, Jass," said Virat in concern. "It'd be much better if you named just one--like me--"

Jinks nodded at Jassi.

"All or none," said Jassi firmly. "You decide and let me know. Goodbye."

"No!" said Rohit. "No, Jassi, don't go yet!"

Click.

"He hung up on us," said Virat, stunned.

"We deserved it," said Bhuvi remorsefully. "A new dad doesn't deserve all that crap."

"You encouraged him to hang up on us, Jinks," Hardik accused.

"I did," said Jinks firmly. "A new dad doesn't deserve all that. And yes," he said gleefully. "I am getting a one on one call from the new dad. Guess we know who's going to be godfather now."

"Jinks," said Virat in alarm. "You can't receive it, you can't--"

Click.

"What's wrong with everyone?" howled Hardik.

The video call broke up in a most unsatisfied manner.

***

Later that night, the group got a message.

'Everyone in this group who did or did not fight to be my godfather is my godfather.

Love from your godson, Angad.'

***

A/N: We won the Asia Cup final in a ridiculous manner, we have a great team for the World Cup (though I'd be much happier if Kishan got out and Iyer or someone came in), and Jassi is a dad, and Indian cricket looks so up right now.

Cheers, Neha