Dear Diary:

I can't even describe what happened today... It's just so

Blegh

I got a text message from someone. Unknown number

???: Hey Iceland

Me: WHO ARE YOU AND HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER-

???: Calm, it's me. Liechtenstein

So I added her just because I didn't feel like blocking her

Liechtenstein: Listen, I need a favor

Me: No

Liechtenstein: Please

Me: No

Liechtenstein: plz >w<

Me: No

Liechtenstein: I'll pay you

Me: What?

Liechtenstein: I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend for a party. Just pretending. PLEASE

Then I blocked her...

And got a new message a while after

???: Rude. I have more phones

Me: Why?!

Liechtenstein: Please! It's very important to me!! I need to get in an important fancy club and I can't if I don't have a boyfriend...or girlfriend but I don't feel like being a lesbo. After I get in I'll just say we broke up and done!!

Me: What kind of fucking club is that?

Liechtenstein: lol it's just to prove your maturity or something

Me: That sounds stupid

Me: no

Me: I barley know you

Liechtenstein: Are you taken or something?

Me: ye

Liechtenstein: I'LL TALK TO HER! YOU CAN JUST EXPLAIN I'M SURE SHE'LL UNDERSTAND!

Me: hahahahaHAHAHAHAHA

Liechtenstein: ...........

Liechtenstein: It's not a her, is it?

Me: ........ Nope

Liechtenstein: In that case it's easier! Just explain it to them >w< please please please please

Me: f i ne but you better pay me good

So I screenshoted the whole convo and sent it to Hong Kong

HK: .....

HK: NO

HK: NO NO NO FUCK YOU'RE MINE

Me: It's a favor

HK: SHE'S PAYING YOU THAT'S NOT A FAVOR

HK: I DON'T SHARE

HK: End of discussion

Me: ....... Do you wanna go to the party too?

HK: .......What do I wear?

Me: It's a fancy party

HK: ..... I'll get my tux

Me: Meet me at my house

So back to Liechtenstein

Me: ok fine

Liechtenstein: Y A Y

Me: He's coming too

Liechtenstein: :D WHAT

Me: You know him c a l m

Liechtenstein: Is it Norway?

Me: WHAT THE FUCK NO

Liechtenstein: whoops ^^ I'll pick you up in a while

So I got up, threw my phone out the window and destroyed every snowglobe in my room because of two reasons

1) WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED

2) Dingo the fucking cat ripped my tux while playing in the closet and now I have to borrow one from Norway or Finland

Why can't I just fucking die :'D

-_-_-_-_-_-_

So Norway accidentally burst his into the flames and I had to borrow Finland's

I finished getting dressed and then I heard the door open

It was Hong Kong. You see, after being friends and in a relationship for so long, he learned to never even knock. He can just come in whenever

I walked downstairs and I was like "hOT DAMN" MOTHERFUCKER WAS 69/10 NOT EVEN KIDDING

So we waited outside and then Liechtenstein appeared

Liechtenstein: Hey, Ice. Hey, Hong

Me: Hey

HK: Sup

Liechtenstein: ..... So...... Where's your boyfriend?

Me:

HK:

Liechtenstein:

Me:

HK:

Liechtenstein:

Me:

HK: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Liechtenstein: ...... omfg-

And then we headed towards the party. On the way we made a plan

I was Liechtenstein's boyfriend, Emil... And she was Erika... And Hong Kong was our butler, Leon...(We're not gonna just barge in and say "SUP EVERYONE I'M ICELAND, A COUNTRY" so we used our names ಠ_ಠ)

In case you're wondering, I didn't make up the stupid plan

When we got there, everything was fancy af like..... toilet paper made out of gold (Seriously)

We sat down and then this dude shows up like

Dude: WHAT? Are you NOT gonna help your girlfriend sit down?

Me: She's not in a wheelchair so she can do it herself...

Dude: Disrespectful.....wait. Who's THAT guy?

HK: Yo

Me: My butler

Dude: Do you literally take your butler everywhere you go?

Me: .....

HK: My master and I made a blood pact in which I have to protect him wherever he goes until the day of his death. Then, I eat his soul

Me:

Dude:

Liechtenstein:

HK:

The guy disappeared and never bothered us again

After eating and everything, everyone got up and danced with their partner

Liechtenstein doesn't know how to dance and I really didn't want to but then this girl popped up and pushed us into the dancing crowd and we had no other choice

It was the most awkward dance in the whole world

Liechtenstein kept destroying my foot with her heels and I accidentally twisted her arm bad and it made a disturbing cracking noise

Hong Kong just stared at us the whole time

The dance ended and then everyone just went back to doing normal rich people stuff

I sat down and so did she

Liechtenstein: ...... Welp

Me: ....... I- um

HK: That was very entertaining to watch

Me: Shut up

After a while of not doing anything somebody shouted-

Somebody: HEY, IT'S THE NEW DAY COUNTDOWN

Apparently (as Lily explained) these rich people do countdowns to a new day just like us normal poor people make New Year countdowns

Odd

So after the clock reached twelve everyone was like "YOY" and celebrated and then they all made out....

If this seems weird to you, trust me. It's weird for me too

The three of us were like "wtf" and just sat there and then the same girl from before goes like

Girl from before: IT'S A TRADITION THAT AFTER 12 EVERYONE KISSES WHOEVER THEY LOVE SO YOU GOTTA DO IT

I was like "h e e e l l f u c k i n g NO" but then I remembered how much this actually meant for Liechtenstein, so I asked her

Me: .... Is this REALLY important to you?

Liechtenstein: Yeah..... You don't have to-

Me: I don't want to but you need to get in the club...

Liechtenstein: .......

So my brain said "fuck it"

I was about to kiss her tho... BUT THEN HONG KONG TUGS MY ARM AND HE KISSES ME INSTEAD AND EVERYONE LOOKS AT US AND SCREAMS

Random lady: HE'S CHEATING ON HER!

Dude from before: WITH THE BUTLER

Liechtenstein: ........

Girl: I FEEL SO SORRY FOR YOU, GIRL! YOU CAN JOIN THE CLUB

Liechtenstein: Really?!

Girl: YES!

So Liechtenstein was very happy...

We were sorta kicked out tho...
Eh-

So we sat outside to think about the whole day. Liechtenstein joined us too

HK: ...... This was an interesting day

Me: Mhm

HK: Hey, why was that club so important to you anyways?

Liechtenstein: Actually....my brother wanted me to join so I could steal their golden toilet paper

Me:

HK:

We laughed really hard but on the inside our souls cried

The three of us went back home after that

I was actually very happy because I made a new friend (We were "friends" before but we actually talked to each other today) and I was so happy, that I actually forgot that it was like 3 am

I got home... Finland snacked me again and now I'm grounded :)

And that was my day

-Iceland

_____

You gotta be fucking kidding me if you expect this to be 100% error free  -_-