Dear Diary:

Why you have to knock before walking inside my house:

Thing is I just woke up

I don't sleep with pants on

I got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to get some bread or something. I was hungry

Like... I have all the right to be dressed however I fucking feel like. It's MY house after all

And there.... sitting on the couch... was Hong Kong

HK: ...... Nice pants

Me: Shut the fuck up why are you here??

HK: Can't I visit my small adorable bean on a wonderful Saturday?

Me: Today is Friday

HK: OH SHIT-

Me: Get out

HK: Fine-  WAIT I'M MAD AT YOU THAT'S WHY I CAME

Me: Why??

HK: YOU'RE IGNORING ME AND I FEEL TERRIBLE WHAT DID I DO WRONG??

Shit I didn't know I had some sort of effect on people

Me: Sorry... I had some weird thoughts and I wanted to be alone-

HK: YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THAT! IT'S BEEN LIKE A WEEK! WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL OR SOMETHING??

Me: I just needed to think, sheesh

HK: ........ Do you even care about me? Are your thoughts that important?

And then I realized something...

I'm a fucking selfish idiot

He cried a bit... And I felt so terrible-

I'm not good at making people feel better tho...

Then the small dog from yesterday ran downstairs and stopped where I was

It started wagging it's tail like crazy when he saw Hong Kong

It didn't even wag his tail once when I patted him. Rude

So then I had an idea

Me: I care about you. A lot... I'm not very good with words so here, have this dog

I just realized how bad that sounded

He gasped and picked the dog up. The dog was so happy that for a moment I thought he was gonna die

Me: I know it's not much but-

HK: A SON!

Me: Wha-

HK: YOU GAVE ME.... A SON

Me: .......

HK:  THIS DOG IS OUR SON! IT'S OUR'S! WHAT'S IT CALLED?

Me: I don't know.... What do you wanna name him?

HK: SATURDAY! BECAUSE TODAY IS SATURDAY

Me: Today is Friday

HK: ...... Does it look like I care?

Me: You have to keep him tho. I have like 6 pets already

HK: I AM SO HAPPY-  but please put some pants on now it was arousing at first but now it's just weird

I-

No comments

So we spent the rest of the day training Saturday and teaching him tricks

And then Norway walked in and we were like

HK: YOU'RE AN UNCLE!

Norway: WHO DID YOU FUCK?

Me: No one........

I don't want to clarify that at all

HK: This dog... Is our adopted son

Norway: .........

He walked away... And never came back

So that was basically my morning. Very normal

The rest of the day was just shit so I ain't writing that

-Icedad