ICE HEART
xliii. mere
❝YOU'RE STRESSED.❞

As she exhaled rather deeply, Ayame Kireina came to the realisation that she was extremely bored, and her desire to escape the damned room that she was confined to was stronger than it had been during the few days which she had been conscious.

For the first time since she had woke up, the petite female was alone with her own thoughts in the hospital room, which she originally thought was been a good thing, seeing as she needed her own space once in a while. Although, after an hour of constant thinking and incoherent rambling to herself, the female soon realised that she was feeling extremely lonely, and she mentally cursed herself for growing so accustomed to the Shinigami whom she'd have to leave soon.

Of course, this wasn't the first time that she had left people she cared about behind, seeing as she left Yamamoto, Chojiro, Shunsui, and Jushiro so that she could join the Royal Guard Squad, but this time felt much differently, and she didn't understand why.

When she originally left at the age of fifty, she was struck with devastation and grief, with tears dotting her blue orbs as she was taken away from the people whom she considered a family. However, at that time, she was overwhelmed by the feeling of pride. If it wasn't for that feeling, then Ayame was almost certain that her kid-self would've bolted back over to Yamamoto, Chojiro, Shunsui, and Jushiro and hugged all of them tightly, begging them to never let go of her.

This time, she was only struck with devastation and grief, and she simply felt no positive feelings when she thought about returning to her so-called "home".

At that moment, she knew that she wanted to remain in the Soul Society, along with her many friends that she had made within the place, so that she could continue the life that she currently had.

She knew that she'd miss all of it.

She'd miss having tea with Shunsui and Jushiro.

She'd miss dragging a reluctant and heavily drunk Rangiku back to her office.

She'd miss talking to Toshiro, and finding out the unique things about him.

She'd miss the Soul Society.

A peculiar feeling stirred inside of her, yet she didn't know why. In the back of her mind, she always knew that she'd have to return to the lonely and isolated Soul Palace. Every single day since she had arrived in the Seireitei, the thought of going back always crossed her mind, but she never even flinched at it.

So, why did she flinch at the thought of it now?

Emotions were a strange thing. They were things that someone like Ayame, who had been blocking out her emotions for most of her life, just simply couldn't comprehend whenever she was in the Soul Palace.

Seeing as she was always in solitude, she never understood why humans felt lonely or sad when they hadn't interacted with another human in a while. After all, she spent one hundred and one years of her life alone on her floating city, which was her headquarters back at the Soul Palace, since she managed to be accepted into the squad at the age of fifty.

However, as Ayame laid on her bed within the bare hospital room with her blonde locks sprawled out beside her, she now understood the feeling of isolation and loneliness, and it was a feeling that she didn't want to feel, so she dreaded how she'd feel once she had returned back to her island in the skies.

Don't be mistaken, her floating city was absolutely stunning, and anybody who saw it would also think the same.

The gorgeous and breath-taking city was made up from several, beautiful, tall buildings, all of which had a heavenly view of either the sky, ponds, or the town itself. The main building, which the blue-eyed female decided to call Torēninguparesu, was a humongous training dojo, which looked like a palace from the outside. There were nine floors to this building, four of which were gigantic training grounds, whilst another four were training grounds made specially for the four different types of combat: Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Hohō, and Kidō. The last floor was simply a resting room, where Ayame visited after she had a long and exhausting day at training.

Although, did the blonde-haired beauty want to live the rest of her life in that palace, where she never spoke to anyone and simply lived in solitude as she tried to perfect what she had already perfected?

No, she didn't.

Did she have a choice?

No, she didn't.

However, Ayame didn't get anymore time to think about the situation, seeing as her ears picked up on the sound of her door opening, and the thoughts of her "home" had completely vanished and were replaced with the thought of entertainment - the thing that she had desired to have for the past few hours.

Sliding open, the door revealed the other small Captain within the Soul Society, Toshiro Hitsugaya - the man who had plagued Ayame Kireina's thoughts and one of the many people who had made the blonde have the inner conflict with herself about whether she should return back to the Soul Society.

With a hint of a smile on his face, the white-haired male made his way towards Ayame's bedside, and sat on the chair that he had claimed as "his". Normally, he'd make a comment about how the female would be getting out soon, or how she was looking better and recovering (even though she was almost certain that she had already fully recovered and Retsu Unohana was deciding to torture her). However, this time, his lips were sealed closed, and that was when Ayame noticed the hint of stress in his teal eyes, and the fact that his fist was clenched tightly, both of which he had attempted to hide by faintly smiling.

"You're stressed."

At that, Toshiro flinched, seeing as he didn't expect the blonde to be able to notice his stress so easily. He lifted his gaze, his blue eyes instantly meeting her concerned ones as a frown wormed its way onto her lips.

"What's happened?" She questioned, her melodic voice almost removing all thoughts of stress out of Toshiro's mind, until he remembered the mountains of paperwork that were piled on his desk.

Releasing a sigh, the male knew that Ayame wouldn't drop the situation lightly, so he just decided to tell her, "Paperwork."

Knowing how stressful the torturous pieces of paper could be, the petite female hummed quietly, before leaning forwards towards Toshiro ever so slowly, causing the male's expression to turn to a face of confusion, whilst a hint of a blush appeared on his cheeks.

"W-W-What are you-?" Toshiro stammered, suddenly forgetting how to say a complete sentence.

Then, the small male felt a shot of pain go through his forehead, causing him to let out a small whimper and playfully glare at the blonde, who had flicked his forehead, a giggle escaping her lips as she did so.

"What are you doing here then, idiot? I may be bored, but that doesn't mean I want you to get stressed!" She scolded the male, shaking her head disapprovingly at him.

"I'm not an idiot, idiot." Toshiro retorted, a smirk falling upon his face as he did so, thinking that he had successfully diverted the subject away from his paperwork and to the nickname.

However, his hopes were shut down when Ayame shook her head, "Go and do your paperwork, idiot!"