Warning: language 

Ronan's POV

One week. For a whole week, Amelia hadn't talked to me. Well, not properly at least. I'd tried texting her multiple times, but her replies were drier than the Sahara and as rare as a blue moon.

I was so unsure of how to feel. After my qualifying hockey game, I planned on asking Amelia out, and I would have gone through with it had her mother not called before I could say anything.

I still had no idea what was wrong. All I could remember was the panicked way she spoke into the phone, with wide eyes and trembling hands. Amelia had been too far away for any of us to catch snippets of her conversation, but she had vigorously shaken her head at the end of it.

Veronica, Lily, and I were locked in a distrustful battle of who knew what, and we constantly accused each other of knowing what was wrong. Veronica claimed that because Amelia and I constantly texted and talked to each other, there was no way I didn't know. I believed that since the three girls lived together, Amelia might have shared something with them that they were simply refusing to tell me. Lily thought that because she was so busy, Amelia had probably spoken to me or Veronica.

My head throbbed as I wrote out the answer to the last question of my supply chain mid-term. The only thing that got me through the exam was the decision to hunt Amelia down after it was done. Veronica told me that Amelia would finish her last mid-term at the same time I finished mine. I fully planned to sprint to the 'psych ward' and demand an explanation from her, or maybe just make sure she was alright because God damn was I worried about my girl.

I scribbled down the rest of my answer and slapped the exam booklet shut. It probably would have been better if I re-checked all my answers, or at least made sure my writing was legible, but I didn't have it in me to care; one bad mid-term wouldn't kill me. I was practically running out of the exam hall with my bag open as I tried to shove my things into it. I didn't have a second to lose.

I felt her before I heard her. Her presence was calming, like the sky suddenly clearing in the middle of a storm. My head snapped to her as she spoke.

"Someone's in hurry, huh?" She asked, her amusement slipping into her words.

I took in the bags under her eyes, her hollow cheeks, her messy hair, her small lopsided smile, and I don't know what overcame me. Maybe it was the sleep deprivation from studying so much this week, maybe it was my frustration at not knowing what was wrong, or maybe it was my concern for Amelia, I wasn't sure, but one second I was hunched over my backpack, the next I was engulfing her in a hug.

I didn't give either of us enough time to process what happened; the moment I realised what I was doing, I let her go.

There was an awkward silence that hung in the air between us, but I didn't mind it at all because I was so relieved. She was alright. She was here. She was whole. She was talking to me.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I looked down at her. "Sorry, I was ah- just really missed you," I said as I felt my cheeks slightly heat up. Amelia seemed to snap out of her shock at my words, and I think her smile widened by a fraction.

"Oh, of course. I mean, who wouldn't miss this?" she joked, her hand going up and down. It was then I realised that she was holding a coffee cup in her other hand.

"Ah shit, did I spill your coffee?" I asked her and took a step closer to make sure she hadn't burnt her hand. God, I was such an idiot sometimes.

"First of all," she started, a smug look overcoming her features, "It's tea, not coffee. Second of all, it's not mine, it's yours. Only someone with tastebuds as terrible as yours would choose tea over coffee."

She was alright, she was herself again. I felt the weight of a mountain lift off my chest.

"Amelia buying tea for someone? Where are the flying pigs?" I went to the lengths of pressing my hand above my eyes and looking around. Amelia snorted and slapped my arm.

"You're welcome, princess. Now take the damn thing before it burns my hand off."

I dipped my chin and quietly took the cup from her before taking a sip. The warm liquid was heavenly in this end-of-autumn weather.

When I brought the cup away from my lips, I looked into Amelia's eyes. "Tell me you're alright," I half demanded. I knew it was silly, she was right in front of me, and she looked fine, but I needed to hear her say it, just to be sure.

Her expression turned sombre. "Ronan, I'm so sorry that I've been-"

"I don't need an apology," I interrupted, "I just need you to tell me that you're alright, that's all that matters to me."

Amelia didn't say anything for a long time. I would have thought she hadn't heard me had I not known that I had definitely been loud enough.

"Amelia?" I felt unsure of what else to say. Why did she seem so, stunned? We were something, of course I would care. She had to know that, right?

She looked away from me, blinking her eyes a couple of time before saying a croaky, "I'm alright." When I noticed that her eyes had glazed over, I took two steps forward to stand next to her and gently rubbed her back.

Before I could ask her what was wrong, she let out a small sniffle then said, "Ah, I'm sorry, I'm just-Can we talk?" she asked quietly, her gaze fixed on our feet.

"So, this thing that we're doing right now isn't talking?" I tried to joke, hoping to make Amelia feel a bit better. Seeing her like this only made me realise that I never wanted anything to upset her every again, and I think in the moment I was willing to fight everything and everyone to make sure of it.

Amelia's breathy laugh was shaky, but it was something. Holding the tea she got me in one hand, I used the other to finish shoving my things into my bag and slung it over my shoulder. When I was done, I swept my free hand in front of us. "Lead the way."

****

It was too cold to sit outside, so we eventually decided to go to the library. Most of the university had their final mid-term today, so the library was deserted, save for the librarian and her assistants. We pulled our laptops out of our bags to make it look like we were doing something related to studying so that the librarian didn't kick us out for 'not using the library for doing anything useful'. Yes, the ancient woman did actually kick people out for that.

Amelia had settled down by the time we got comfortable, but her nose was now red and runny. She had wiped it at least ten times with the tissue I'd given her. She gave up on the tissue now and started using her sleeve. "It needs a wash anyway," she tried to argue, but all I could do was laugh.

I ignored the glare she shot me and turned my laptop on, but I felt the familiar twitch of my lips. This woman, she was something alright.

When my part of the table looked messy enough to make someone assume I was studying, I turned to Amelia and waited. She seemed nervous, and she was clicking things on her laptop. When she kept up her constant clicking after more than a few minutes, I realised she was stalling, but I didn't call her out on it. I wasn't going moving an inch until she said whatever it was she wanted to say, so she could take as long as she needed.

"I'm leaving," she blurted, her eyes fixed on her laptop's screen, her finger still clicking the mousepad. I felt my heart stop.

When I didn't say anything, she slowly dragged her eyes to mine and cleared her throat. "I'm leaving, after I finish this semester." She said, her voice now firm and clear.

Leaving.

The word echoed in my ears and bounced off the walls of my head. I never knew a single word could hurt so much, but I knew now. I felt something in my chest crack. She was leaving.

Suddenly, looking at her was unbearable, and I flicked my eyes away from her to look at anything else. The bookshelf, my laptop, the posters on the wall, the lights. I knew I should say something, but my vocal cords refused to cooperate.

My silence made her fumble, but she eventually found the courage to go on, "I have this-this family problem, going on. It's been going on for a while and my mom thinks it'll be safe-better, she thinks it'll be better for me if I move in with her."

I didn't know what to tell her; I felt myself go numb. I knew I should ask questions, things like where are you going? When will you come back? What family problems? If Amelia had been anyone else, I would have asked them immediately, but it was her, and she was leaving.

I didn't realise when things changed between us, when she went from being no one to not just anyone. It was hard to tell, but I suddenly felt like a complete fool for letting it happen.

"Say something," Amelia pleaded. She reached her hand out towards mine, but I quickly retracted it from the tabletop and shoved it into my pocket.

Don't leave, I wanted to tell her. Stay.

But I couldn't bring myself to say the words, I couldn't make myself admit that I cared more than I should, that I wanted what I shouldn't. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't get the chance to ask her out. Maybe it was a sign that whatever this was, it wouldn't work.

So, I didn't say what I wanted to say. Instead, I looked Amelia straight in the eye and said, "If running from your problems is how you solve them, then go."

I knew I was being a hypocrite, but the anger that coursed through me didn't let me register that fact. I didn't wait to see what affect my words had on her, I didn't wait to see the pain they caused. I packed my things and left without looking back.

****

I quietly made my way to my room, ignoring the boys that invited me to play video games with them in the living room the second I stepped foot into the house.

I stormed past a concerned Hunter on my way up the stairs, who was saying something to me, but I didn't register what.

The whole room shook when I entered it and slammed my door. I dumped my bag somewhere on my way in, and the first thing I did was raise my fist and aim it at the nearest wall. Leaving. Say something. Better.

I swung hard and true, knowing that Amelia wouldn't be here anymore to save me.