life is not a love song that we like
we're all broken pieces floating by
life is not a love song we can try
to fix our broken pieces one at a time

• • •

I frowned as Lana moved my curled hair around my shoulders. "A mark? I thought those were for mated pairs only," I said with a confused glance toward Lana's neck. No mark. How had I not noticed this beforehand?

"We have three distinguishable marks," Lana told me, stepping back to eye my outfit and hair with her hands on her hips. She smiled brightly. "You look beautiful."

"Three?" I asked, raising my recently penciled brows at her. "You have three marks? Where's your mate mark?"

She chuckled as she stepped forward and turned me around in the mirror to look at myself in the mirror. "We wolves mark differently than you felines. We do the same thing, we have sex and we bite each other's neck. However, unlike felines, our marking is . . . Different. A bite mark does not remain permanent on each other's necks."

Neither does ours. I closed my eyes and remembered how Andy and I would have to mark each other once a month for the fraction of our relationship. Felines kept the secret of our marking a very deep, very dangerous secret. If the council found out they disappeared, it would have heavy repercussions. It's been a secret for hundreds of years, it would be very bad to have it spewed now.

"Instead, it will match the mark down your spine. The same one you get when you're fully brought into the pack. By the time you have all three marks, your entire spine will have one long, detailed mark running down the skin. You and Princeton haven't marked or mated yet, so your pack mark will take up the bottom section of your back. Your marking mark and the pack mark are like tethers. The marking mark will be at the top of your spine, and the mating mark will connect the two others and complete the entire mark of your back," the former Luna explained as she fluffed yet again at my hair.

"There is a fourth though, but only females get it," she said quietly. "Yours may appear right away when you're integrated, and I feel I should warn you."

The air became thick with tension, and it definitely got Feline's attention. She stood to attention, and she was listening closely now. "What is it?" I asked softly.

"It's directly above the pack mark and below the mating park — it's a large, unfilled circle. It . . . It represents that you have conceived a child at least once. If the child makes it to term and is born, the mark will be filled and completed. If not . . . If not, it will remain unfilled until the female successfully conceives again and carries to term, by which then it will fill." My heart dropped to the pit of my stomach, and the urge to excuse myself to vomit was strong.

"I see," I choked out. She gave me a sympathetic look, her hand running down my back gently. "Why?"

"Marks are communication in our community. They claim, they tell a story, and they let other packs know exactly who you are and who you run with. It tells another wolf that they're marked and mated, or if they're not. It tells us if they're in a pack, but has no mate, or if they have a mate and no pack." She sucked in a breath. "Marking is extremely important in identifying a wolf based on pack. A pack's members will have a similar outline of their marks but unique outcomes based on who their mate is and their individuality as a person."

My heart was racing a mile a second, and now all I wanted to do was rip the dress off and run away. I didn't want them to see my mark. I didn't want the pack to know that I had failed as a mother. "Will I have to reveal the mark?"

She swallowed nervously. "I'm afraid so. It is so the pack can get the connection and they can be able to identify you in the future."

"Oh God," I whispered, covering my mouth as I stared myself in the mirror. I could see the horror in my own icy eyes, the weakness that it brought.

Get yourself together so they don't spot this weakness. You cannot let them know you are hurting, lest they use it against you, the warrior in me scolded harshly.

"Nobody will dare say a word, Rivera," the woman murmured, tucking a curl behind my ear delicately. "Alejandro and I promise to make sure of that, as will Princeton. We do not tolerate nor condone words of negativity about anybody's marks."

"If I get them."

Lana blinked at me kindly. "You will. If you were able to have a wolf mate, the likelihood of you not being able to obtain our marks as well is very minimal. You'll get them."

I don't want them. Not if they let everyone else know how I failed to protect my own child, not if my miscarriage can be broadcasted to the entire population.

But something, somewhere inside me, wasn't quite so sure that this was the case.

• • •

The ballroom was mystical as it was beautiful. The walls were simply windows that looked over the forest and the lake of the pack territory, where the sun was beginning to dip below the horizon. The floor was tiled with marble that shined brighter than most stars.

People were filing in and out, filling the glorious room with chatter. A few pups dressed up for such an occasion were chasing each other through the maze of people, or raiding the tables of food that were pressed against the wall opposite to the large marble stage.

"Are you okay?" I whirled around and was relieved to see Zaria and Maddie standing there. Zaria was dressed in a glittering red dress with exposed shoulders, gold earrings and eyeshadow, painted red lips, and high heels. Her hair was curled up in a bun. Maddie was in in a bright blue lace dress that clung to her figure beautifully, black stockings, and black flats. Her hair was up down in curls like mine, and her eyes were lined with black eyeliner.

"You both look amazing," I choked out, reaching back to scratch my neck. Me having a mate doesn't mean that a sense for other's beauty had left me. Not in the slightest. Especially when it came to his family — they were just . . . unfairly beautiful. "And, uh, yeah, I think I'm okay. I'm really nervous, though. Lana told me about the marks and I just . . . " I trailed off, glancing at the crowd of conversing people as it grew.

Maddie beamed at being complimented while Zaria's lips lifted in amusement, then the two shared a quick look before returning their attention to me. "Thank you," Zaria hummed, then she peered closely at me. "Mom didn't do this intending to scare you—"

"No, I know," I quickly assured, shaking my head. "I know she didn't do it just to drop it on me. I'm glad she told me at all, because nobody else did you know?"

"Princeton had the stupid idea of telling you after the ceremony, but we as his sisters both decided that we wanted to see him live another day," Maddie explained, curling a strand of her hair around her finger. "We went to mom and tattled on his ass."

"Basically," Zaria mused, her expression thoughtful. "We begged her to tell you since he didn't want to, so that you wouldn't be shocked when the mark appeared and when the pack saw it without you having any idea of the meanings behind it. It's wrong to keep it from you, especially since it'll be on your body for the rest of your life."

God, these two are quite literally blessings. I reached forward and embraced both of them to me. They responded to the hug without an issue and we stood there, "Thank you. You're right, I wouldn't have wanted to be gawked at without understanding why. But I can't promise you that your brother's insides won't be splattered on my bedroom walls later." The feline in me rumbled with content as the two wolves rubbed their cheeks against me. They were scent marking me, claiming me as pack. I knew this action because felines did it with members of their clans.

"As long as you get the mess cleaned up and don't let my mother find an inch of blood on the walls, it should be perfectly fine," Zaria said with a soft laugh, her warm breath breezing past my ear.

We pulled back from the embrace and I found myself ten times more relaxed than before. It would seem they had also tried to make the area surrounding the three of us as calming as possible. I wouldn't be surprised if someone could sense my anxiety from across the house, let alone across the room.

The two sisters suddenly lifted their heads and peered across the stage, as did the pack within the ballroom. It fell silent and I quickly caught on with the message. Princeton stood in the center with his hands clamped behind him, wearing a suit, with his hair slicked back. His jaw was set carefully, but his eyes were warm.

"Moon's blessings, children of She, souls of the night. A pack we are that runs together, fights for our home, and protects the life we built. I, Alpha Princeton Westscott of Blackwood Pack, have brought the pack together tonight as one, to welcome a new member into our ranks." His chin lifted as he turned to me. "Rivera Kingston, former member of Rosedale Clan, feline warrior, come forward and swear your oath to the Blackwoods under the light of She."

I was nudged before the two sisters walked toward the middle to stand next to their parents and siblings, and I was left to walk shakily toward Princeton. Eyes, I felt them all on me, following me closely as I made my way. I did my best to mask my nerves.

I stopped only a foot or so from my mate and he gave me a nod, then jerked his chin to his left. Alejandro stepped forward, a silver and bronze dagger in each hand. They glinted in the light as he walked and handed them to his son, who then held them, blade down, out to me with a tight grip. "These are Arthur Blackwood's daggers. He was the first to hold them after their creation by the goddess Herself, as one of the gifts blessed to each of the original packs upon their creation."

Woah hold up. One of the first known packs? He never mentioned this to me! He must have seen the panic in my eyes because he allowed a flicker of reassurance to fly though them before becoming stoic yet again.

"These daggers have been held by every joining outsider since his obtaining of them, and by every pup who has completed their training and has taken their rank among their brothers and sisters. An Alpha and his Luna will hold them upon their coronations. These daggers are called Virtus Fidesque Vostra, the Latin term for Bravery and Loyalty. By taking them, you transfer apart of yourself onto the hilts as many before you have. The blades will cut your skin and draw your blood, so that the Goddess knows of your oath."

He raised the hilts and turned them in his palms, "Stick your palms out, Rivera Kingston, and repeat the oath as I say it, when I say it. Understood?"

I held out my palms, proud that I managed to keep them from shaking, and the edge of the blades sat themselves each on one of my upturned palms, simply resting as he looked me in the eye. "Yes."

"I, Rivera Kingston, Feline warrior," he began, the blades beginning to press down against my skin. I focused on his face as I repeated the words he spoke, ignoring the warning flares from my skin, "swear on the Blades of Blackwood, Virtus Fidesque Vostra, that I will hold my pack above all others, that when your pack calls for your help, you will answer, even at the cost of my life, that those weaker than I, young and old, sick or healthy, will be given mercy even in the times of brutal war, that I offer nothing but loyalty, honesty, bravery, and pride for the pack I call my own. My past is my past, and I will not dwell when the present I live in needs my assistance, that my heart will not wander, and that my respect for those around me does not waver. I swear by these statements, and I have knowledge that I forfeit my life if I have caused intentional death or harm to those with innocent blood. I, Rivera Kingston, hand my life over to my pack, giving them, forevermore, my absolute trust and loyalty."

Blinding pain rocked through my body without any hint of warning, sending all of the air out of my body. I stepped back in shock, the blades slicing deeper cuts in my skin and allowing quick blood flow in my palms.

The pain started at my toes and began to work it's way very quickly up my body, bolts of painful electricity having such power over my entire being that it knocked me to the ground, my bleeding hands steadying me on the marble. I was blinded by light in my eyes as the pain travelled to my head and remained there at such a force, that the rest of me became briefly numb. My head — my head was splitting apart — was jumbled, and I couldn't sense Feline. Where was Feline?

It was as though the tethers that crossed and tied together like a system of organization inside of my head were being snipped, then being tied with different tethers, crossing them, creating new lines. I felt every single one of them like a bash to the skull, and my fingers stretched, a part of my nails extending into claws to dig into the marble to hold me down. Don't shift. Don't shift.

And then it was gone, just as if it never happened. Though no pain was left, I was drained physically and mentally, proof of what had just happened.

Then I heard the whispers. There were many of them, and they were reaching out to me like beckoning ghostly hands. Come with us, let us help you the rest of the way, they coaxed. I was to weak to try to fend them off.

The ghostly hands caressed my head, and suddenly, I could hear them. Voices, all around me inside my head, even as nobody spoke in the room.  Princeton bent down on one knee and lowered his head to meet my gaze, holding the daggers, blades coated with my blood, at his side. I watched red droplets fall to the marble and splatter against it. "Are you okay?" He asked softly.

I stared, then allowed a shaky nod as the voices began to quiet. It was them, it was the pack, they were reaching out to me through the link. They had whispered words of encouragement, and now I managed to sit up. "I'm - I'm fine," I choked out.

He nodded then held the blades out to me. "Grab them by the hilt, allow your blood to coat these blades like others have before. Then the Goddess will look into your soul, and she will be your judge for the rest of your path of life."

I used what I knew about blocking mindlinks and put up a weak barrier, as to hide my unease and distress by this statement. I grabbed the hilts anyway, pain throbbing against my palms but feeling like minor papercuts compared to what I just experienced.

As I stood to my feet, blood flowing down my palms, down the blades, and onto the floor beneath me I caught a breath in my throat.

Not because I was a member of this pack, officially, but because every single person in the room had fallen to one knee and exposed their necks to the stage.

• • •

Okay this was a very fun chapter. The ceremony took some time to come up with, but the plot begins to thicken.

Rivera's officially apart of the pack and though it doesn't seem like it, problems will arise from those who disagree with her joining.

What did you guys think about the ceremony bit? Please let me know!

— grace xx