Funny how I thought I completely blocked you from my life
Funny how I thought pieces would you would never find me
Every time I think back it reminds me
Of when my world fell apart, and shards fell into mine
The glass shattering, cracking, blasting
Impale me in the heart, take the life from my body just to keep you afloat
Tear my heart open, gouge your fingers into my chest and id still let you
I fell asleep to the deafening fear of having another you.
I fell asleep to the headache associated with heartache all because of a fear you instilled in me
My soul sleeps in my toes, too afraid to creep up to my heart, to see what it shows
Everything that my brain knows would break my soul
I keep my soul far enough away from my heart enough to make it seem like I'm heartless, but it's the only thing I have
I keep my brain so far away from my mouth it's a wonder how only daggers come out
And it's a wonder I'm not cursing as much as I am inside my head
But there's an abyss the words fall into, and I lose them forever (like you said I lost you)
But this time the blame wasn't on me from the get go
This time, no friend broke the news
This time they weren't as evil as you
Just someone whose world broke because I couldn't hold it together
Someone who needed me, and I just wasn't what they wanted to see
No scheme, no master plan of puppeteers, just fucked up chemistry
That would have been the last chip, tip the scale, have me careening over the edge
I could take any more heartbreak
And this is why I wonder why I even care at all
You're not meant to see this, but if you do
Just know I need a little time to forgive.