A/N:

Lovies, thank you so much for reading Destiny Amari's story!

Cheer up! This is her story and I promise you that all the pain she suffered are all worth it!

Love,

Ate Nicx

*****

One.

Two.

Three.

One. The first time I've learned about my condition, the first time I was diagnosed with CAD, I thought my life was over. I was young, I know nothing and just like that, my life was about to end.

Two. I met him. I met the man and the love of my life. He gave me courage to fight. I wanted to live. For him, for myself and for my family.

Three. I was happy. I was contented with my life and in a blink of an eye, everything was in chaos. My almost perfect life ended. I lost everything. I lost my family, I lost him, I lost myself.

My life was never an easy ride. Hindi naging madali ang lahat para sa akin, para sa pamilya ko. At ngayong umulit na naman ako sa pagbibilang mula sa umpisa, hindi ko na alam kung kakayanin ko pang umusad at makarating sa pangalawa hanggang sa pangatlong bilang.

I'm stuck here. Stuck at the beginning and I... I am dying.

"Mommy, can you hear me?"

Gusto kong magsalita ngunit hindi ko ito magawa. I doubt if I can even move a finger right now. Like I said, I'm stuck in here. Kahit sumigaw pa ako, walang makakarinig sa akin. Kahit ilang beses ko pang tawagin si Von o si Ayah o kahit sino mang pumapasok dito sa silid na ito, walang makakarinig sa akin. Walang nakakaalam na buhay pa ako at naririnig ko ang bawat tawag, bawat pag-iyak at bawat paghihinayang nila sa kinahinatnan ko ngayon. I wanted to comfort them but like what I've said, I'm stuck here and all I can do is to listen to them.

"I held his hand earlier, mom. My brother's hand is so soft and tiny!"

Oh, Ayah! I wish to hold your brother's hand too! I want to carry him too! But... I can't do that so do it for mommy, okay? Hold your brother for me, baby.

"Mommy, I missed you. Hindi ka naman pupunta kung nasaan si Daddy Veron at si Mommy Charlotte, hindi ba? I'll be sad if you're going to the happy place, mom. Paano si Daddy Von? Sila Tita Sasa at Tito Xavi? How about me and my little brother? Mom... don't go. Please."

Ayah, mommy's here. Hindi ako aalis. Hindi ko kayo iiwan. Just give mommy more time to heal, okay? Babalik ako sa inyo, anak. Babalik si mommy para sa inyo.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw o buwan akong nakahiga sa kamang ito. I lost track of the days and I think I'm losing it, too. I'm slowing losing myself and I hate it!

"Good morning, beautiful!"

Andrea!

Sa lahat ng bumibisita sa akin dito sa silid ko, itong pinsan ko ang pinakamaraming ikinukuwento. Hindi ito nauubusan ng sasabihin and I like that! I like hearing my favorite cousin's voice!

"You know what, Nempha called me earlier." aniya na siyang ikinatigil ko. Mayamaya lang ay naramdaman ko ang paghawak nito sa kamay ko at nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita. "She... she told me she misses you. Hindi ito makabisita dito dahil sa kondisyon niya. She's pregnant, Destiny! Akalain mo iyon? Well, she's married and all, so dapat ay hindi na ako nagulat sa balitang iyon."

Tumigil si Andrea sa pagsasalita at mayamaya lang ay narinig ko ang paghikbi nito.

Oh, Andrea. I'm sorry I can't comfort you right now. I'm really sorry.

"I moved on from Aleph, okay. Wala na sa akin iyon pero... hindi ko alam, Destiny. Bigla akong nasaktan noong nalaman ko iyon. God! I'm the worst person ever! Nakakahiya!"

That's okay, Andrea. That's okay. You just loved the man, Andrea. You just loved the wrong man, dear.

Halos araw-araw ko ring naririnig ang boses ng kapatid ko. Adliana never missed a day without calling my name and asking me how's my day, complaining how our father is forcing himself again to work and do my supposed to be job and how Von, my beloved husband, is losing his shits because of my situation.

"You know what, puwede naman siguro, noh? You won't hate me if I hit your husband on his freaking head and scream at him and tell him to pull his shits together, right, Amari? You won't hate me, little sis. You love me, so, alam kong ayos lang iyong binabalak ko."

You can whatever you want, Adliana. Basta hindi lang ma-co-coma ang asawa ko sa binabalak mo.

"Pero seryoso na, Amari. Gumising ka na. Mas mahirap pagsabihan ang asawa mo kaysa sa mga bata. Lalo akong tumatanda sa ginagawa niya!"

Thank you so much, Adliana. Thank you so much for doing this to me and to my family. I owe you a lot, Ate.

"Hey, Destiny. Can you hear me?"

Yes, Xavi. I can hear you, clearly.

"Hindi ko alam kung nasabi ko na ito sa'yo noon pero halos ikasira ko rin noon ang pagkamatay ni Shaye. You remember her, right? My first wife."

Oh, I remember her! Iyong asawa niya na buong akala ko ay heart donor ko noon! Of course, I remember her!

"I can see my old self to him, to Von."

What?

"He's dying with you, Destiny Amari. My cousin is losing his shits at mukhang mauuna pa ito sa'yo."

No, Xavi! Please, help him! Do something for him!

"Hindi siya nakikinig sa amin, kahit sa mga magulang ninyo. He's alive but already dead inside."

God, Von! What are you doing to yourself?

"You are his strength and weakness, Destiny. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ito nagpagaling noon. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ito nakakalakad ulit ngayon. You are the reason why he's alive, the reason why he's still breathing and if we loss you, if he loses you this time, it's really over for him too. So, please, alam kong naririnig mo ako. Please, Destiny, wake up. Do this for yourself, for your family, for my goddamn cousin. I can't let you go both. I can't do that so please, come back to us."

Hindi ko na alam kung anong gagawin ko. I can't move my body. I can't do anything for Von and for my family.

I'm useless, damn it!

I need to move. I need to wake up! Dahil kung hindi ako magigising ngayon, wala na akong babalikan pa! I need to wake up and save my husband. He's drowning from the pain I'm causing him. He suffered enough because of me!

Please, I need to wake up now. I need to save my husband!

Move, Destiny Amari! Just freaking move!

"Doc, we have something here."

"What is it? Something wrong with the patient?"

"She moved. Her fingers move!"

"Call Doctor Hidalgo!"

"Yes, Doc."

"Mrs. Henderson, can you hear me? Mrs. Henderson."

"Her vitals are good. I think she's waking up."

"That's good. Mrs. Henderson, try to move your fingers again. Mrs. Henderson... She moved again."

"What we got here?"

"She's waking up, Doctor."

"Really? Destiny, this is Doctor Hidalgo. Can you hear me? Destiny."

"I... I can h-hear you... Doc."

"She's awake, everyone. Call her guardians!"

"Destiny, try opening your eyes."

"I..."

"Just do it. Please."

Dahan-dahan kong iminulat ang mga mata ko at noong masilaw ako dahil sa liwanag ng silid, muli kong ipinikit ang mga mata.

"Just relax, Destiny. Open your eyes again," utos ni Doctor Hidalgo sa akin at hinawakan ang kamay ko. "We're here, Destiny. We just need you to open your eyes."

Pilit kong itinango ang ulo ko at muling sinubukang imulat ang mga mata.

"Welcome back, Destiny Amari."

"I'm... I'm b-back."

"We already called your husband and your parents. Let's just wait for them." Tumango ako dito at sinubukang igala ang paningin sa silid na kinaroonan. "Just tell us if you're uncomfortable. After a few more test, aalisin na namin ang ibang apparatus na nakakabit sa katawan ko."

Hindi ako nagsalita at marahang tumango na lamang. At noong akmang magsasalita na sanang muli ang doktor ko, mabilis akong natigilan noong marinig ang boses ni Von Sirius sa silid na kinaroroonan ko.

"She's awake?"

"Yes, Mr. Henderson. Your wife is back," wika ni Doctor Hidalgo at tiningnan muli ako. "You really fought hard, Destiny. You never gave up and I'm really glad that you finally made it."

"T-thank y-you, Doc."

Tumango lang sa akin ang doktor ko at binalingang muli si Von.

"You can stay here, Mr. Henderson. We will give you a few minutes. Talk to your wife and... congratulations, Mr. Henderson. Thank you for not letting your wife go."

One.

Two.

Three.

In just three seconds, nasa tabi ko na si Von. Mabilis na hinawakan nito ang kamay ko at hinaplos naman ng isa pa niyang kamay ang pisngi.

"Hey, love," nanginginig na wika nito at hinalikan ang noo ko. "Thank you... thank you for coming back."

"L-love..."

"Hush it, love. Huwag ka munang magsalita. Magpahinga ka muna," mabilis na sambit nito at inalis ang mga luha sa mata. Tipid akong ngumiti dito at marahang itinaas ang kamay na hawak nito. Kita ko ang gulat sa mga mata ni Von at noong mahawakan ko na ang pisngi nito, mas lalong nag-unahan ang mga luha niya.

"I... I love y-you."

"Oh God, I love you more, Destiny Amari!"

"T-thank y-you..."

Thank you for not giving up on me, Von Sirius.

Alam ko kung gaano kahirap ang desisyon ginawa nito noon. He was torn between holding on to our promises and to let me go and stop my suffering. And when they finally decided to have my second heart transplant surgery, it was the most risky and dangerous decision he ever did.

My surgery went well but I went into coma. My body was too weak for the surgery and in return, my body was shut down.

But now, I'm here again. After months, I woke up and now, I'm alive.

"You are my heartbeat, Destiny Amari. You are my life, so please, don't... don't ever leave me."

Heartbeat.

I'm his heartbeat. I'm his love, his everything.

"I love you so much. I love you. I love you, Destiny Amari."

One.

Two.

Three.

Kahit ilang beses pa yata akong bumalik sa pinakaunang bilang, uusad at uusad pa rin ako. Kahit gaano pa kahirap ang humakbang patungo sa dulo ng bilang, gagawin ko pa rin ito. Because he's waiting for me. My husband, my children and my family are waiting for me. Kahit gaano katagal, kahit na tila imposibleng makausad ako, gagawin ko pa rin ang paghakbang ng mga paa ko.

I will move forward. I will move forward to meet and be with them.

And even if my heart stops beating again, I will just still move and find my heartbeat too.

Von Sirius Henderson, my husband, the father of my children, you are my heartbeat, too.

I'm still alive because of you. My heart is still beating because of you.

*** THE END ***

Maraming salamat sa pagbabasa sa kuwento ni Destiny Amari, LOVIES!