Do I drink too much? Probably.

Drinking helps me cope with wanting to self harm and being suicidal.

I honestly try so hard to be better. Like seriously, I try so fucking hard. I was talking to friends and feeling like I was going to hurt myself, so I texted someone who could pick me up and make sure I'm safe.

And that is the story of why I'm at my friend Sarah's house now. I'm going to stay the night. I'm so lucky that I have friends who care so much, and want to make sure I'm ok.

I know I probably shouldn't have drank so much to begin with, so I'm drinking water now to recover. I hope I feel better in the morning.