A month had passed since then, and for the weeks that followed, Jin had withdrawn into himself again, seeing almost no one but his family. His parents had made sure that he carried out the reeducation of his ankle correctly and that he was well followed by a good psychiatrist, all at home because Jin did not want to leave his room, the place where he felt safe. And his parents weren't going to force him out. They didn't force him to do anything he didn't want to do.

     He had started talking to them more or less normally again and no longer apologized systematically, but spoke very little, at a bare minimum and most of the time, in a barely audible murmur.

     Mrs. Kim, who was the one who spent the most time with him, was aware that he missed his dongsaengs from BTS but she was afraid that Jin would relapse on seeing them.

     Since they all phone called her regularly to ask for some news about Jin, she could maintain some semblance of contact between them and she was happy about that because she could sit next to Jin and tell him anecdotes that the boys told her on the phone. Jin seemed to listen to carefully without commenting, but sometimes she even managed to detect the beginning of a smile on his face.

     She understood without any difficulty that the six other members of BTS had not just been his brothers, his family but also the center of his life for ten years and therefore he needed them to be happy now, but when Jungkook asked her after a month of separation if he could visit Jin, she had doubted a lot, feeling that it was a little too soon.

     "Sweetie, I don't know if Seokjin is ready, it's been only a month and and he still very-"

     "Please let me see him, I'll leave right away if he doesn't want to see me, but please let me try..." Jungkook cut and implored on the other end of the line. He had never been physically separated from Jin for so long and it had become unbearable for him.

     Mrs Kim knew that like her son, Jungkook had suffered a lot and that he had been Jin's greatest moral support during those terrible months. By Namjoon, she knew how much he felt guilty for what Jin had experienced and she had never ceased to reassure the youngest during their long telephone exchanges. She even went to see him at his parent's house, leaving Jin in his father's care, and talked a lot with Jungkook's mother, feeling especially close to her after what their sons had been through.

     The two women had also taken the liberty of finding together the best lawyers for their sons and these had advised them, like the CEO, to wait for the opportune moment to launch the lawsuit against Lee. After several weeks, hearing from a lawyer that Bang Si-Hyuk's strategy was the best for their children made them hate the man a little less and Mrs Kim finally agreed to contact him again and have a more calm discussion with him at the instigation of Mrs Jeon.

     However, the relationship between the two women did not date from the day before. Jin had often invited Jungkook to visit his own family with him when they had more time, during their rookie years when Jungkook felt sad away from his own family in Busan. 

      He was only fifteen at the time and Mrs. Kim had no hesitation in considering him as her own son. Mrs. Jeon back then warmly thanked Jin's mother for taking care of her son, whom she still considered far too young to go to Seoul to become an idol.

     Thus, the two mothers knew perfectly well the bond that had always united Jin and Jungkook, long before these dark events and they knew that their sons had always been very close. They hadn't been completely surprised to learn that they had explored their relationship even further in the past few months, when they were alone with what they were going through. And in no way had they misjudged them.

     Mrs. Jeon maintained that Jungkook's visit could do Jin a lot of good. Maybe it was the expected trigger for Jin to finally get better after this period marked by a lack of progress. But without completely disagreeing, at that moment and in spite of herself, Mrs. Kim couldn't help but think that Jungkook was associated with Lee in Jin's mind because of the times the three of them had spent alone.

     However, Jungkook's insistence and Jin's psychiatrist's favorable response ended up getting the better of her resolutions and she ended up agreeing, wondering whether or not she should warn Jin.

     It was on the day Jungkook was supposed to come that the company had chosen to bring the birthday presents as well as all the cards that Jin had received.

    "Seokjin, honey, I'm sure reading your fans' letters and encouragement will do you good. I leave some on your desk. Read them when you feel like it."

     Mrs. Kim put two packets of letters - among the many that were still in the living room with the gifts - on the desk and smiled as she saw the painting of Jin and Jungkook that they had had made in France and she had taken the liberty of having it framed.

      Sometimes she would find the frame flipped face down on the desk as if Jin couldn't bear to look at it and other days she would find the frame upright. Jin seemed undecided about the emotions they felt looking at this painting. Some days it hurt him and other times it made him happy.

     When he had just had a nightmare and woke up in a panic, he eagerly got up would turn the frame around to look at him and calm down looking at Jungkook's happy face. This allowed him to remember why he had endured all this suffering and it relieved him: all this had not been in vain, he had stayed to protect Jungkook, prevent him from suffering and ensure him a happy future. On those nights, he clutched tightly in his hands the moon of the necklace Jungkook gave him and he never took it off.

     But haphazardly, when he dipped back into some memories, he couldn't bear to see Jungkook's face and had more than once smashed the glass of the frame by flipping it too frantically with his shaking hands.

     Even though it was just an image, the two boys' sincere smiles and joyful gazes seemed to Mrs. Kim as evidence that at the end, Jin really needed Jungkook. To get better but also to be, lastingly, truly happy. His son had always been a bon vivant, but today that personality seemed to be a thing of the past and his continually indifferent or distressed attitude worried her. She hoped that his reunion with Jungkook after a month of separation would cheer him up and bring his smile back.

     "I'll be in the office upstairs, call me if you need anything. I'll come back to see you later with a surprise, okay?"

     "Okay," Jin responded without emotion. "Thanks, Eomma."

    Before leaving the room, Mrs Kim placed a kiss on the forehead of Jin who had not moved from his bed, and left the room.

     When his mother had left the room, Jin stood still for a moment, then finally turned his head towards the stacks of letters, wondering for a long time if he really wanted to read them because lately, he didn't feel like doing anything anymore. After a moment, he finally straightened up, grabbed his still-needed crutches, and walked the distance to his desk before sitting down in front of it.

     He let his gaze immediately fall on the frame where his and Jungkook's painting was. It belonged to a past time and when he remembered it, he couldn't bear to see it because it reminded him that he was not the same person anymore and that he probably never would be again.

     That radiant Seokjin no longer existed, and that smile would no longer appear on his face. He grabbed the frame and gently tilted it forward, face down on the desk. Then he grabbed an envelope and very carefully tore it open.

     His finger had finally healed and he had his bandage and splint that trapped his index and right middle finger finally removed, but he was still worried that he would feel searing pain regardless, as the past pain was still very vivid in his mind.

     After a month of recovery, his body was much better. His ribs had nearly all healed thanks to near-total immobility over the past few weeks. The sutures on his forehead and on his shoulder blade had been removed very quickly and he no longer wore his arm splint because his knife wound also seemed healed even if it tugged him sometimes when he made certain sudden movements.

     As on his forehead, that large wound on his shoulder blade had left behind a permanent scar that would forever remind him of what had happened. Not that he can forget it no matter what. He had to accept living with this memory, that was what his psychiatrist had told him. Even though he never answered the woman when she spoke to him and seemed lost in thought, Jin listened carefully to everything she said to him.

     He had wondered what would happen if he couldn't accept this memory. Would he continue all his life to wake up in the middle of the night, victim of his terrible nightmares and continuing to make his parents suffer? Or was his mother right in thinking that letters from his fans would do him good and help him get up and move on?

     The first letter was in English and he could only understand a few words. The second was written in a Slavic language which he could not identify but which featured a selection of pictures of him, surrounded by purple hearts which could only symbolize the affection of the person who had written the letter.

     He understood by reading his first letter in Korean that his fans had not just wished him a happy birthday and a good recovery. They had renewed their love for him, this love that had carried him for so long and made him happy despite the difficulties encountered.

     He then began to open them and read them with vivacity, savoring them like a delectable food, feeling rising in him a feeling of contentment and confidence that he had not felt for months. Those letters were wonderful, and the people who wrote them to him were even more so. They held a special place in his heart.

     Some letters were written in Korean so full of questionable word choice and mistakes that Jin knew they were foreigners who used an online translator to write them, but he understood the gist of them and was grateful for the he effort made by his fans. Then on his side, in addition to the letters written in Korean, Japanese and Chinese, he also made the effort to carefully read the letters written in other languages and try to understand them.

     What he read at that moment lifted his spirits and ended up even making him smile but also bringing tears of gratitude.

     The letters came from all over the world, his fans represented almost every nationality imaginable, it was incredible to him. What had he done well to receive all this love?

     Thus, he understood through those amazing people that he was not just a weak, useless and disgusting person. He was a beloved member of the BTS group. There were so many people who loved him. Could he really let go and walk away forever, abandoning those people who loved him and were waiting for his return?

     The torn envelopes quickly piled up on the floor as the letters he had already read piled up haphazardly on his desk and his smile widened.

     It was his fans who brought him his joy and his self-confidence, how could he have forgotten it? How could he have lost interest in living as an idol when millions of people around the world held him in their hearts and only needed to see him happy to be happy themselves?

___________________

A/N: This song and its MV made me think of Jin and Jungkook that no hardship in life can definitively separate.

https://youtu.be/yH-6SoFYkLg