Aesop Carl
"Feelings"

Norton Campbell, my childhood best friend, High school heart throb, Vice-captain of Oletus Football League, Smart and a funny guy. Girls want him and Boys aspire to be like him. He's Mr. Perfect and he's the guy I fell in love with for years. 

I couldn't tell him how I feel because whenever I tried to, the words wouldn't come out of my mouth, I am shaken to my knees, my anxiety is kicking in. 

I always write in my diary whenever I try to confess to him. Like today…

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Dear Diary,

Today, I saw Norton playing alone at the field. When he saw me he immediately call out to me and teach me how to play, of course, I don't have an athletic body and if I were to play with any team, I would get scared, I don't like the crowd. 

Norton showed me his moves and man, he was dazzling. It's like falling in love with him over and over again watching him play.

When it's finally my turn to play, I tripped and fell on my butt, It was embarrassing and Norton started laughing at me, He picked me up in his arms while I was looking at his beautiful onyx eyes, I was petrified and it make me weak on my knees so I fell again but this time he caught me, he thought I was injured and carried me all the way to the bench like a princess. My heart was beating so damn fast

When he placed me gently, I tug the hem of his shirt and as I was about to confess, I started tearing up, he panicked, he thought I was in pain so he immediately carried me all the way to the clinic and that was it, My 177 confession failed…

08 January 2020. 

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Unrequited love sucks

[12 February 2020]

"Hey Aes!" Norton exclaimed while placing a hand on my desk with a big grin on his face

"Hm?" I tilted my head 

"Do have any dance partner for the upcoming Valentines day this friday?" Norton asked

"N-no…" I hang my head down. I never attend those events before, It's too loud and crowded. Norton saw my anxiousness and ruffled my hair

"It's okay Aes, I know you don't like parties but I just thought maybe you'll change your mind this year?" 

"Change...my….mind?" I blink in confusion

"Yeah, If I would ask you out instead?" Norton gave me a sweet smile

"H-huh..?" I blushed at his request. He's asking me to go out on Valentine's day, Is this for real?

"If it's okay with you, Aes. If not I don't mind either, I'll respect that." I just keep staring at him, he looked at me with this pleading eyes.

I am so happy and overwhelmed, I want to say yes! I can't get the words out of me, I'm too anxious and I feel funny inside my tummy.

"I...uh ...ye…"

"Norton!" A guy with a chestnut hair called out to Norton. It's Naib Subedar, He's part of the boxing club and a close friend to Norton and I, He smiled at both of us and dangle his arms around Norton,"Yo, dude! You got someone to take on prom night this friday?" 

"Well…" Norton turn to me, I think he's waiting for my answer. I'm too shy to say yes with Naib being here, Naib look at the both of us back and forth

"Ohhhh, You both don't have yet! I have a perfect suggestion!" Naib remove his hand off Norton and grabbed both of his shoulders,"Norton! That beautiful smart girl from Class 4-A, Vera Nair is looking for someone to take her out to the prom! And you my friend are in luck~"

"Huh? Why is that?" Norton asked Naib

"I told Vera if she would like you to be her escort and she said yes!"

"Naib!"

"Don't worry, I asked her if it's okay if I ask you first if you have someone to take with you" Naib winked,"it's a one time opportunity dude! Who knows you might end up with Vera!"

"Naib, I was asking Aesop to be my muse for the prom"

"Oh? Im sorry, are you two--"

"N-no...I don't plan to go…"

"Aesop…" Norton pouted,"...Even if I asked you?"

"I-I'm sorry...I don't like...c-crowds...loud music...and party…" 

"I see…"

"That sucks Aesop! It's the last prom of your senior life! Hopefully you could come but it’s okay, I'll respect you.” Naib patted my head, I look at Norton he seemed very sad. It’s better if he went with a beautiful girl like Vera

After school, I went home ahead of Norton normally we go home together since we live next to each other but Norton was busy with the football team so I went on ahead. 

When I got home, I was greeted by my cat Mr. Whiskers, he always greets me by swirling between my legs, purring as he did. My parents work abroad so I have to take care of myself luckily Norton’s parents look out for me and treated me like their son too, so I don’t feel very lonely.

After finishing all our homework, I took out my diary and write again

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Dear Diary,

Today Norton asked me out on for the prom night this upcoming friday, I was so happy, I never knew he’d ask me, I thought as usual he’s gonna tell me that someone asked him out, for the past few years, I know he goes out with the most beautiful girls in the campus

Emily Dyer, President of the book lovers club
Fiona Gilman, Captain of the cheerleader
Tracy Reznik, Champion of Science Club
Vera Nair, President of the Student Council

They are all stunning ladies. I can’t even compare. So when I heard what Naib told Vera, I backed out, I was planning to confess to Norton on the spot or the day of the prom, guess it was wishful thinking to ever do that.

He’ll probably get a girlfriend like Vera. I’ll never be able to tell him about my feelings, I honestly want to move on but for some reason I’m so in love with him…

178 confession failed...again….

12 February 2020

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[14 February 2020]

Dismissal

Everyone was so excited and hyper while preparing for the prom that will help at the school gym tonight and of course out of everyone I am the least excited, I took out my journal to write when I finished packing up things, I was about to write in my journal when Norton stood in front of my desk

“Hey aes.” 

I flinched and slam my journal shut and hid it under my desk

“H-h-hey...Nort…!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you” He looked at me worriedly

“Its...Its okay...do you need something?”

“I was gonna ask.” Norton scratched the back of his head, “Are you really not going to the prom tonight?”

“Oh…”

“I still want to take you tonight.”

“What about Vera…?”

“Well...I can just ditch her?” Norton laughed

“Please don’t…”

“Just kidding, Anyways are you?”

“N-no...I don’t have anything good to wear for the prom either...I’d probably watch my cat at home too…”

“That fat little, Mr. Whiskers!” Norton exclaimed,“But if ever you change your mind--”

“Norton Campbell” 

A beautiful auburn haired lady with a charming smiled called. It’s her, Vera Nair. Norton gave her a sweet smile, It made my heart ache, I quickly took my bag and left the room

“Aesop! Wait you forgot your--” 

“That was quick.” Vera asked as she watched Aesop who sprinted away,“What is that?” She pointed out a notebook that was dropped by Aesop when he took off, I reached for it, curiously turning it from side to side

“Some sort of journal? I wonder what’s in it?” Norton flipped through the pages, he immediately went silent, “.............”

“Norton?” Vera tilted her head

“............”

“Is something wrong?” Vera asked worriedly

“Hm? O-oh...It’s nothing, I’ll return this to him later”

“Okay.”

Norton Campbell
"Emotions"

Aesop Carl, my childhood best friend, that timid looking boy from my neighborhood. We were best friends ever since we’re little due to our fathers being childhood best friend’s as well, because his parents working abroad, my family looks out for him which I’m glad we do, he’s not good with crowd or noises so I often try to understand him

Being a vice-captain of the of my league, people often expects great things of me, William Ellis, captain of Oletus football league often supports me, many people admired me and my hard work, It’s a little bit frustrating and I’m always pressured to keep my appearance and overall being Mr. Perfect. One wrong and you’re out that’s what I thought…

But one person who accept me from my flaw and that’s my best friend, Aesop Carl

“I...lo...um....”

I memorize what he was trying to say throughout the years even if he always stutter and cut off his sentence

“Ve...you for...um...who you..uh...are...so, do your b-best…”

I love you for who you are, so do your best. I muttered to myself.

How adorable how he tries his best to cheer me up. That’s one of the things I like about him, no matter how hard it is, he’ll always does his best to make me smile, Maybe I should ask him to the prom this time. I’ve refused several people already, It was kind of tough as some would have a bad impression of me but this is the last prom of our senior year and who knows I might not be able to see Aesop anymore.

[13 February 2020]

That sucks I tried asking him out but he refused right away, he sure does hate the crowd so much and also that idiot Naib asked Vera for me, WHAT THE HELL NAIB SUBEDAR! I growled, It might have felt Aesop sad.

“What now?” I slump heavily to my bed, I should try again tomorrow, I don’t mind declining Vera, I’m sure there are a lot of guys who would like to take her out on a date.

[14 February 2020]

Of course, why am I not surprised Aesop refused again. I was shocked that he left his journal and when I read the contents I instantly hid it from Vera and changed the topic asking her if she needed something from me, apparently they are lacking of people to help with the preparation, I was free anyway so I helped her committee.

After helping, I hastily left the school premises and continued to read Aesop’s journal, I know this is bad and it’s invading Aesop’s privacy but I can’t help but to get curious when I saw those words

I love you, Norton Campbell

Who wouldn’t be curious about that!? 

Before I went home, I stayed by our local playground and start flipping the pages from his journal

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Dear Diary

Today Norton was acting bizarre, So I asked him what’s wrong he told he lost his favourite loom band, If I remember it correctly it has red and black in it, His favourite colors. I can see him trying his best to smile, I felt sad for him

I went to the craft store today and get the materials to make one. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to make but I’m glad it only took 2 days for me to make it with Mike’s help. After that I give it to Norton I see his eyes sparkled when I did, he hugged me very tightly, I felt like my heart was going to explode and he kept thanking me

I’m glad he loves it. I wondered if I can confess to him.

I tried...and tried...and trieddddd! I can’t seem to voice out my feelings and I started sobbing, Norton laugh at me, he thought I was crying because he was happy

That’s so sad…

122 confession failed…

20 July 2017

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“Wow…” I stare at the loom band I wear in my right wrist,“He told me he bought this in a local store...I didn’t expect he make this for me...” I flip the pages, I saw numbers before the date

34...79…103…155…178 confession failed

All these confession, I never noticed he was trying to confessed to me this whole time and his most recent one is when I asked him out. I thought I was doing a good job in reading what he wanted to say, guess I was wrong. 

My heart ached

I never knew he loved me this much, all his hidden feelings for me for years, written in his journal. My eyes began to well up, I want to see you, Aesop. I immediately ran to his house but was stopped by my mother who was waiting outside our house

“Norton dear, I need to tell you something

“Mom! Wait I--”

“Aesop was looking for you a while ago”

“He does?”

“Yes, I think he’s going back to school? But he’s not wearing a suit or a prom dress, he’s probably just going back to pick something up”

“Thanks mom!” I turn my heel to dash towards the school when mom halted my movements again

“Wait dear, aren’t you going to change? You can’t go to the prom looking like that”

“B-but…”

“No buts, Hurry up and change”

I groaned and rapidly prepare myself up. This is the fastest wash up and dressing up I ever done in my entire life, I even refused my mother to take a picture of me in my suit, I wanted to hurry up and see Aesop. 

I just hope he didn’t leave school yet!

I rushed as fast as I could, riding my bicycle to catch up to him. I look so darn weird, wearing a suit and tie and riding a bike. I was about to enter the school gates when I saw Aesop going out of the entrance with a dismayed look on his face. I quickly ran towards him

“Aesop...hah…!”

“N-norton...what are you…”

“Hah...I...hah--was...l-look--wait…!" I tried to catch my breath before speaking, Aesop looked at me worriedly, waiting for me to catch my breath and with one last heave, I calmed myself down

“You okay…? Why did you ran so fast l-like that… the prom isn’t even starting...you still have 30 minutes to prepare...”

“I was trying to catch up to you!”

“Oh, did aunt tell you, I was l-looking for...you?” Aesop asked and I gave him a nod, “Oh I see. W-well then...see you next week…”

“WAIT!” I grabbed his arm,“Come with me, Aesop."

“H-huh?”

I dragged Aesop inside the school grounds and went up to the rooftop where nobody is around, since they’re all busy enjoying themselves to the prom at the gym and this place if off limits too, so were completely alone

“N-norton…?”

“Here.” I gave him back his Journal, he fidget as soon as he saw and grab it from my hand, shoving it inside his bag,“You dropped it earlier this morning. I thought I’d keep it and give it to you when I got home”

“T-thank you…” Aesop’s face flushed, avoiding my gaze, fidgeting with his fingers. That reaction, he’s very anxious. He must be worried that I might have read his journal and know about his feelings for me which I’m kind of guilty I read it before he confessed but at the same I didn’t regret it either. It’s better I know.

I let out a sigh. I took both of his hand and he looked up and face me,“Aesop”

“Y-yes…?” He blinked a couple of times while nervously focusing his gaze at me 

“Do you love me?” I asked him, looking deep in those beautiful silver eyes, for some reason that question made his silver eyes sparkled but his body is shaking, he was sweating from his forehead too, he’s trying to say something

“D-d-d-did you re...read...my...j-journal…?” Aesop asked stuttering between his words

“Yes.” I admitted, his silver eyes were wide in shock

“I-I...can expl...explain...I--”

“I love you too, Aesop Carl”

“H-huh…?”

“Well, more like I never knew I love you until I read your journal.” Aesop fixed his gaze at me, curiously waiting for me to continue. It’s the first time he ever look deep in my eyes,“At first I thought of you as a friend, nothing more and nothing less but when I saw your journal today maybe there’s something more than just a friend of how I feel about you.”

I never noticed it before but Aesop look really gorgeous, he always has his face covered by his pale white sweater and his reading glasses are blocking that beautiful long snowy lashes of his, his lips too curved perfectly and pink in hues. I never knew that looking at him this close made my heart going haywire inside my chest. I held his hand in mine as I spoke

“You’re always with me when I need someone the most and whenever Im happy or sad, you’re the first person to be by my side. You accepted me even at my worst, you always have the time to cheer me up when I’m devastated. You try your best to make me the happiest and…” I kissed his hand which made him jump a little,“You bring out the best in me”

I saw Aesop’s eyes moist, as his tears trickled down his cheeks. 

“When I read your journal today, I was filled with so much emotion that I can’t contain anymore. Emotions I never knew I had for you. My heart fluttered with every word you have written that was dedicated to me. I love you, Aesop Carl, I really do.”

“I...love--”

Before he could say anything, I grab his waist, pulled him to me and plant a kiss on his lips. It made Aesop surprised. I chuckled at his reaction, while I wipe out the remaining tears in his face

“I know you love me too, Aesop”

“I want to say it...though…”

“Oh, go ahead then”

“I love--”

I kiss him again, he blinked a couple of times.

“I didn’t hear you”

“You keep kissing me...I couldn’t say...it”

“Okay, I won't”

“I lov--”

I cut him with my kisses again. He let out a sigh, he looks troubled. His reaction are so cute

“What are you gonn--” My sentence we’re cut off by strong pull on my neck and a soft kiss was placed on my lips. I was about to break our kiss, when Aesop kept a tight grip on me. I can’t pull him off, he kept on kissing me, while his tongue makes its way inside my mouth

"Mhm…"

He broke off the kiss as soon as I return his wild kisses

"You were saying?" Aesop smirked

"That's uhm…" I was so baffled, I was caught off guard of what Aesop just did, I never knew he could kiss so frenzy like that,"That was so hot! I didn't know--"

Aesop smacked his lips against mine again and giggled

"Pay back...You're so unfair...I didn't get a chance to tell you how I feel for you."

"Taste of my own medicine, huh?"

"Yeap." Aesop grinned at me and with one last shared kiss, he confessed,"I love you Norton"

"I love you back"

"What?"

"I love you too is so overrated so I love you back!"

"Do I say I love you front then?"

I chuckled, I never expect he can joke like that, guess I boost a little confidence in him,"Nah, Don't say it and just kiss me"

We both smiled at each other, sharing that one sweet and passionate kiss under that beautiful velvet night.

END OF CHAPTER