(Big trigger warning, this talks about death injury and everything in between. A lot of this is canon divergence and stuff like that. )

scott entered this server knowing what he was in for.

he knew that he had to stay alive three times and then the last would be permanent on this server. it seemed simple enough.

instead, he met a dumb man with lovable golden retriever vibes. his smile was wide and never ending. his words were sweet as honey and careful as if he didn't even want to hurt a fly. his dumb chaotic nature harmonized with scott's intelligent order. he acted so stupid and blissful but it was charming.

scott doesn't know how he could have landed on this server another way.

he met jimmy in the forest. they decided to team up temporarily, promising to leave once they split enough resources between each other. scott wouldn't allow himself to get attached no matter what.

jimmy had other plans.

sometimes, they would have to pause their mining as the blond man would show a fancy rock he found on the ground to scott. he found himself stuffing the rocks into his already full pockets. sometimes, jimmy would be skipping ahead of scott as they walked and would pause to point out a gecko that ran across their path.

"i think her name would be bell but without the 'e.'" jimmy would explain as scott would laugh.

"why without the 'e' specifically?" he would ask. jimmy would pause, slightly wrinkling his nose in thought.

"i don't know. she just seems like it." is how he would respond.

soon, they found a flower valley and decided they were going to live there.

"this is so cute, just the place i would love to live!" scott exclaimed. he caught jimmy staring from the corner of his eye. when confronted, jimmy just laughed and gave him that charming smile.

"you are so cute when your mind is set to something." scott blew a raspberry his way and punched him in the arm. jimmy laughed again and rubbed the spot like it was sore.

it was perfect.

scott watched as the area grew, trees sprouting from the ground and their houses expanding (although scott just had to go over and fix jimmy's.) days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months that eventually led to years. barely anyone had died and from their bubble in the world, they were oblivious.

until death hit them.

jimmy was eager to try a challenge. he begged scott to let him play and after hours, it worked. the two stood at the building, scott taking his things in an extra bag in case, and a few of the other server members watching. scott was only focused on jimmy.

jimmy inched himself through the trails of lava, being careful to not get burned but one false move by getting distracted, and he was melting.

"jimmy!" scott shouted as the machines shut off. "is it safe to cross?" he turned to yhe operator, that he quickly identified as tango, with a worried look.

"it should be fine-" scott barely listened as he ran across the stone bricks.

sliding to the ground, he caught jimmy just as he started to collapse.

"s-scott?" jimmy asked as he gripped scott's jacket with his charred fingers.

"shh, i'm right here with you." scott tried to smile but a tear escaped and ran down his cheek. jimmy lifted his hand up and used his thumb to wipe the tear away with a pained smile.

"don't cry, just get home safely so i can make sure you are safe."

"you dumb idiot," scott let out a watery laugh, "you are the one dying but you are still worried about me making it home." jimmy let his hand drop from scott's face.

"can you be there when i respawn?" scott nodded his head as he rested his forehead against jimmy's.

"i always will."

scott remembered as jimmy let out his last breath and disappeared slowly into the slight breeze. he looked up and saw the other server members watching with sad expressions on their face. scott willed himself to get up, adjusting both of the bags he was carrying before walking over to the others.

"i-i better get home now if i want to make it in time for jimmy." scott got people wishing him luck on his journey home and requests for him to contact them when jimmy was doing fine. scott just numbly walked away from the area, not caring.

for miles, he walked through the different biomes.

he was only determined to get home to see jimmy's bright and smiling face. he wanted to punch the man before hugging and repeating the process again for such an idiot move.

at this point, scott didn't care if a creeper came and sent shrapnel flying and making their way into his fragile body, effectively killing him.

unluckily for him, all the mobs seemed to shy away.

it left scott just walking deep in thought, trying to get home to the man who was going to respawn soon. after hours of walking, he made it.

the first thing he did was enter the little cabin that he helped jimmy to make (who was he kidding, he practically did all the work to make it look manageable) and walked down the stairs to the small bed. scott let out a deep sigh when he saw the mattress was uninhabited. dropping both of the bags in the middle of the floor, scott walked over to the chair that was situated underneath the desk and pulled it out so it was right next to the bed. he sat down quietly.

scott tried not to be fussed about how long the respawn would take.

he didn't know how much longer until jimmy would be laying on the bed. he heard that when scar lost his first life months ago, he had respawned in the matter of seconds. it's probably due to the fact that was scar's only resources and he didn't want to go searching for more. but scott wouldn't worry himself.

(that's a lie, he was practically on the verge of a panic attack, worrying that jimmy's lives were glitched and he didn't have any more or that he was in the forest somewhere by himself.)

and after what felt like days, scott's eyes snapped open at the scream he heard from the bed (he didn't remember closing his eyes; he must have passed out from worry or exhaustion.) looking at the bed, he could see that jimmy was arching his back in pain and his cheeks were damp with tears.

"shh, it's fine, jimmy. i'm right here with you, nothing to worry about." jimmy looked to scott and let out a sob. it sounded like relief. scott just hummed and shushed as jimmy tried to calm down. the blond grabbed onto scott after a second and pulled him close, burying his face into his chest. scott could feel the dull nails digging into his back and the tears soaking his shirt. he didn't care if he was honest.

(scott would deny that jimmy's burnt shirt was also soaked. jimmy didn't say anything about it anyways.)

holding on tight, scott climbed on the small bed as well and let jimmy cling onto him like his life depended on it. from where he was, scott could see that the ends of jimmy's hair was burnt. he still ran his fingers through what used to be soft locks.

it took days for jimmy to return to somewhat normal.

scott would have to bite his lip each time he had to leave for a second to cook them some food or go to the restroom (the food usually went to waste anyways, they both couldn't stomach any of it.) scott would stay awake, holding onto jimmy's hand and running his thumb across the two hearts on his wrist. it was reassuring in a way how he could feel the bumps in his skin. jimmy, the sweet person he is, let scott onto the bed so they could sleep together, grasping onto each other tightly.

"you need to get some sleep. i know you are worried, so am i, but we need to sleep." jimmy has said as he ran both of his thumbs over the dark bags under the blue haired man's eyes.

scott found himself resting easier.

days later, jimmy and scott both said their goodnights, deciding to sleep without each other for the first night since the first death, and walked to their separate houses.

scott woke up late in the night, unable to sleep and just staring at the ceiling. minutes later, jimmy came stumbling into his home. looking at the tear stained face, all scott did was shift to the side and have his arms wide open. jimmy jumped into bed, burying himself into his chest. the next morning, he explained that he had a nightmare about burning and waking up without scott there.

as an unspoken agreement, the beds in each of their houses were replaced with bigger ones and one was always vacant every night.

another change to their lifestyle was the protectiveness that they felt towards each other. scott was very uneasy about letting jimmy out of his sight for more than three minutes. it made it hard for them to mine or travel anywhere on their own. however, it did bring them closer together.

"we act more like husbands would that friends do." jimmy joked as he swung the picaxe and broke through stone. scott let out a laugh as he turned to the blond.

"we really do. what if we did get married?" jimmy smiled before turning to a smirk.

"wow, we haven't even had a first date and you are already wanting to put a ring on my finger. take me to dinner first." they both burst into laughter, holding their stomachs and forgetting about their work. "i mean, i think it would be fun. we could share our things for tax purposes." jimmy finally got out after sobering a bit.

"yeah, because taxes are going to be a problen on this server." scott rolled his eyes in amusement.

"well, we can share my reputation points with the desert."

"i thought we were already sharing."

"proves my point then." jimmy sent a mock glare before turning back to his work. they continued on in a comfortable silence, sometimes adding onto the discussion. "what if we really decided to get married and invited everyone? i think it would be fun to see everyone again."

scott cursed as he accidentally dropped his picaxe at the question.

"well... i don't know who we can trust..."

"pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," jimmy pleaded as he once again forgot about his chore.

"other people are dangerous. i don't trust them around you." scott muttered under his breath. he didn't want to watch jimmy lose another life.

"but we can make a rule that absolutely nobody can kill each other during it. it should be a calm event anyways!" jimmy begged again. scott thought about it and had to look away from the puppy dog eyes that the blond was giving him. after a few minutes, he sighed in defeat.

"alright, we can have a server wedding."

"yes!!!" jimmy cheered loudly. it echoed down the tunnel. scott silenced him by holding a hand up.

"the rule though is that we will go and invite people personally. if we don't see them fit to coming along, they are not allowed even in area." jimmy nodded his head in agreement. they returned back to the comfortable silence, scott working a bit more rigid than before.

days later, they had put the invitations in their bags and were about to head out.

"alright, we should go to the area where ren lives since i heard that a lot of people on the server are around there." scott explained as he adjusted his bag. jimmy nodded his head as he ran ahead. the blue haired man had nothing to worry about since he would return every few minutes to show or give him something interesting (scott had a jar hidden that had every single interesting item that jimmy had given him inside. he was embarrassed about it.)

eventually, after an hour of walking, they made it to the area and saw the groups of people.

"this is perfect! half of these people live on the other side of the server anyways so that only makes us do one trip." jimmy exclaimed as he gestured to everyone. scott swears that if the blond had a tail, it would probably get sprained because he would wag it so much.

"alright, let's go into ren's house thing-"

"CAREFUL EVERYONE!" martin shouted as the group of people stood back from the enchantment table.

"what's going on here?" scott asked with his eyes squinted in uneasiness.

"grian and scar left this and we are concerned it might be a bomb trap." martin explained as he gestured to the two desert people who were on the top of a hill, laughing their heads off.

"okay then, try to maybe break the ground around-"

Click!

scott felt his heart drop into his stomach as the enchantment table was moved. his hand had instantly reached for jimmy's, wanting to pull them away as the observer was revealed underneath. after a few seconds, nothing happened.

a groan came from the hill.

turning, scott could tell that grian's trap didn't work how he wanted it to. he sighed in relief, slightly feeling light headed when he realized he wasn't breathing for a few minutes. looking to jimmy, the blond had a look of concern on his face. it seemed he also noticed. scott was pulled to the ground so he could sit for a moment and jimmy took a water bottle out for him. the rest of the dirt was dug up around the trap.

taking a sneak peek, scott could see that the trap could still be triggered if it wasn't handled properly.

"guys, the trap is still triggered. if any of you touch the tnt minecarts, it all goes up." scott explained. "you need to go at a distance and shoot it with a bow and arrow. nobody should stand close to this thing."

"hey, is grian and scar taking my cookie?" scott sighed in annoyance as he realized nobody was listening.

"maybe you should go up to the hill. have a rest while i try to sort out the problem down here." jimmy whispered as he pointed to martin trying to disarm the trap. scott was still unsure.

"please stay safe and don't go near that thing." scott pleaded. the blond nodded his head in reassurance.

in hindsight, scott never should have let jimmy try and sort the trap out when he could have done it himself after a brief break. it is one of the things scott regrets most about his life.

"so, they should shoot it-" scott watched the faces of the bomb deactivators become pale as they tried to get away. he went still as the tnt exploded and sent shrapnel flying into the air. jimmy was still stuck in the hole with the bomb. "JIMMY!" scott heard someone scream (he was unaware he was the one to produce that yell.) he ran down the hill, tripping as he stumbled on rocks, until he made it to the crater. he didn't see jimmy's body anywhere.

turning, he could see people also running down the hill. grian and scar were cheering with joyus expressions as they came down the hill.

"yes! it worked!" grian smiled with his arms up in triumph. scott could feel the anger boiling in him.

"why are you cheering!?" he yelled and silenced the group. "jimmy and i were going to invite all of you to come to our wedding. that's the whole reason we came here in the first place!" scott couldn't let himself calm down. "he was so excited to give you guys the invitations we have worked DAYS on and instead, i have to rush home to make sure he is alright. he still isn't completely healed from his first death! i didn't want him around you lot for this exact reason but he claimed all of you were good people." scott took out the invitations from his bag. he turned to the fire from the explosion. "i won't be allowing ANYONE at our establishment unless i permit them." he let the neatly decorated letters drop into the fire. "i'm going home now. i hope he doesn't wake up screaming without me there." he pushed himself through the crowd, already feeling the numbness return.

scott didn't bother looking back.

he managed to make it back home earlier than he expected to. it took him almost two hours to get there but he got back in forty minutes. he briefly remembered that they had slept in his house the night before so he came in and looked towards the bed. jimmy still wasn't back so scott decided to busy himself.

he took the clear jar filled with rocks and other trinkets out from a cabinet in the kitchen, unloading all the ones jimmy found that day before everything literally blew up in their faces. scott paused at a smooth rock that he remembered jimmy specifically pointed out. he said it was the color of scott's eyes along with it being his favorite color. jimmy wanted it made into his ring.

scott collapsed to the floor, sobs taking over his body.

the rock was clutched into his fingers, held tight and he wasn't willing to drop it. he was shaking like a leaf in the wind. the numbness faded into just pure and utter pain. scott could distantly hear his communicator going off from the counter but he just cried with his forehead resting against the rock.

he ignored the knock on the door.

"scott?" a voice called on the other side. "i'm coming in." the door opened and in walked a hesitant cleo.

"go away." scott growled but he doubt it was intimidating from his position on the floor. he heard a sigh and something being put on the counter before cleo slid to the floor next to him.

"i heard what happened, you know." she whispered under her breath. scott didn't care. "bdubs and i just want to let you know that we are here for you-"

"i don't want anyone but jimmy!" scott interrupted with a yell. "we were having a perfect life until people just mess it up! i didn't even invite you here!" it was silent for a minute besides his heavy breathing and crying.

"look at me, scott." he shook his head and continued crying in his hands. "please," she said softly. cleo gently pried his hands from his face until scott looked in her direction. She sighed and leaned down to look him directly in the eyes. "there you are." she said with a slight smile on her face. he just huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "scott, i know it is hard for you right now. you need support and all you have is a man who has a big heart on a server full of people who don't care for others." scott's demeanor got less tense. she was right, it was dangerous for jimmy to be so trusting. it made him worry. "jimmy wouldn't want you to be crying or locking yourself away from help right now. he is going to respawn and i bet you that he is going to make sure you pick yourself up from this." he nodded his head slowly.

"i just want him here right now with me." he sniffled as she gave him a pitying look before pulling him into a hug.

"i know, i know you do." cleo gently rubbed his back in circles. it was comforting. "he will be back soon, trust me." scott found himself trusting for the second time ever on the server. "for now, let's get you cleaned up and eating, alright?" she pulled back and cupped his cheeks in her hands. her thumb gently ran over his forehead. "how did you get this cut on your forehead?" she asked quietly as scott gave her a confused face.

"i don't know, it wasn't there earlier." he got up from his spot on the ground after wiping tears off his cheeks and walked to a mirror. he did see a cut that was dripping blood down his forehead. looking down at the rock in his hands, he could see the traces on it as well. tears gathered in his eyes again.

cleo must have noticed because she clicked her tongue and took his hand softly, leading him to one of the stools in the kitchen. she grabbed a wet towel and a bandaid before wiping it over the cut.

"what is the rock for?" she asked before putting the bandaid on.

"jimmy was going to make it into his ring." his voice became wet and a tear rolled down his face.

"shh, no need to cry. it will be alright." cleo took it gently and wiped it off with the towel. she handed it back when it was clean. "alright, bdubs and i made some food for you." she pulled a tin out of the bag she left on the counter. opening it up, scott could see porkchops and potatoes. "just need to heat this up." she popped the tin into the furnace and carefully put some logs inside. scott's eyes wandered to the door of the next room. jimmy will be respawning sometime soon.

scott could see cleo from the corner of his eye, wipe her forehead off with the back of her hand before turning to stare at him. he could feel the confusion waft off of her as she raised her eyebrow at his tired gaze. he turned and watched as she gracefully walked across the tiled floor to look inside the room. he could see the cogs in her brain turning at the sight of the normal looking bedroom besides the larger bed. nobody on a competitive server would bother wasting extra materials on a larger bed. she turned to him, lips tight and eyes squinted, before letting a slight smile shine through.

"are you waiting for jimmy to respawn?" she asked as he just sighed.

"yeah, last time it took ages and i don't know if it is the differences of deaths that impact it." the orange haired woman nodded her head in agreement.

"i'm surprised to see you two sleeping together." scott just covered the tomato red blush that heated his face with the front of his shirt.

"we are just bunking together. nothing else is happening if you are implying that." cleo burst into laughter, holding her sides at the implication.

"then why are you two sleeping together then?" she asked after a moment to contain herself.

"when he lost his first life, i stayed by his side day and night. eventually, he forced me to sleep and the only way i would do it was if i knew he was alright. he let me sleep with him in the bed and after that, it has been hard to stop." he admitted softly. "the first night we tried, he had a nightmare about dying and i couldn't sleep without knowing he was alright." cleo hummed in thought.

"i am guessing that him not respawning and being by your side is absolutely killing you, right?" she asked as he nodded his head slowly.

"i just don't know where he is or if he is alright. i know he has one life left and i just am worried he is going to spawn in the forest somewhere with nothing to defend himself with."

they fell into comfortable silence.

cleo stayed with scott for hours and hours. even when he moved to be beside his bed in an uncomfortable chair, she was in the living room taking a nap on one of the couches. she wanted him to get some sleep as well but he just couldn't without jimmy.

she eventually woke up again and brought a chair to sit next to him.

scott knew he should sleep but he missed those arms that engulfed him gently. he missed the way jimmy would bury his nose into scott's blue hair. he missed holding onto his wrist and feeling the comfort of two bumpy hearts that lay there. he missed waking up to jimmy trying unsuccessfully to get out of bed without waking him. he missed jimmy uttering a quiet goodnight and a loud goodmorning. he missed so many things and it all had to do with jimmy.

somehow, scott's eyes closed for more than two hours.

he didn't remember closing his eyes even once. he did remember the nightmares though.

"jimmy!" scott watched as the tnt exploded and the blond was shot through the air. he couldn't quite believe it. he ran to where jimmy was lying on the ground and gasped at how he looked. his skin was gray.

"this is your fault." jimmy pushed him back with barely any strength left in him. scott still fell back.

"w-what?"

"you promised to protect me. i now am losing my last life. i hope you die next." scott watched as the life drained from his eyes but his body stayed intact. that means he had lost his red life.

scott jumped and blearily blinked his eyes. it felt so real and he couldn't quite believe it. he looked to cleo looked up from her book when he woke up.

"are you alright?" she asked softly before placing her book down. scott grabbed her wrist and looked at the three hearts still on it. he didn't know he was holding his breath until he gasped. "did you have a bad dream?" she asked as he nodded his head before putting her arm down.

"i dreamt that jimmy lost his last life and blamed me for it..." cleo took his hand in her own and gave him a smile.

"but he didn't so that's all that matters." he nodded his head in agreement, feeling the squeeze her hand gave him.

after a few minutes of gathering his surroundings, his eyes drifted to the bed when a body appeared. burn marks from jimmy's previous death were all on his legs but this time, explosion marks were all over his body. his face was heavily scarred and one of his eyes was milky white. his skin was a lot paler than scott remembered.

jimmy sat up quickly, holding his head while muttering to himself. scott watched as the confusion became panicked. the blue haired man wasn't able to concentrate on what he was saying.

"-scott, listen to me, scott." he turned to cleo. it seems like she was trying to get his attention. "help him, he is panicked." he nodded his head and carefully took jimmy's hands into his own and took them from his head. looking up, the blond man started to calm at the sight of scott.

"scott, i can't hear or see much," jimmy said as his lip quivered. scott brought him into his arms. he shushed the man and rocked them back and forth. he knew something like this could happen here. the loudness of the explosion probably caused jimmy to be half deaf and possibly a piece of shrapnel punctured his eye. on servers like these, you have to live with whatever happens to your body unless if it is a infinite lives server.

"you're okay, you're okay," scott wasn't aware he was even speaking; his body going on autopilot to comfort the blond. his hand was on the back of jimmy's head, pushing it into his shoulder protectively and a hand was rubbing up and down his back. jimmy's scarred hands, much like after his first death, were gripped into scott's shirt. he could feel each tremble as a sob escaped the blond's throat and his heart was beating rapidly. scott just let himself go completely numb to try and help jimmy without his own feelings getting in the way.

he blinked when jimmy pulled out of his grip and slid back into the bed, taking a plate that cleo was handing him. scott could feel the zombie queen's hand on his shoulder as she sat in her chair again. scott doesn't remember hearing her leave or jimmy calming down. the blond had a look of concern.

"scott, are you doing alright?" he asked between mouthfuls of baked potatoes. the blue haired man could see porkchops to one side of the plate. he guessed she had made extra.

"hmm? oh, yeah i'm doing fine." scott replied after remembering he still had to answer jimmy. "just tired is all." the blond frowned.

"has he not slept since i died?"

"just before you woke up but even then it wasn't for long and he had a nightmare." jimmy gave him a pitying look.

"you poor thing." jimmy stuck another mouthful of his potatoes in his mouth, the fork still inside as he moved over in the bed and pat an empty space on the side. "here." he said but it was muffled by the spud. scott got into the bed after kicking off his shoes (he had no clue how he was going to find them later) and nestled into jimmy's chest. the blond placed a protective arm around him and continued eating and talking to cleo.

"jeez, i die and scott becomes incapable of taking care of himself, huh?" he joked. scott closed his eyes and rested his ear against the thumping heart in jimmy's chest. "i really do thank you for making the trip over here though. he probably wouldn't have eaten by himself." jimmy sincerly thanked cleo.

"i am glad i came when i did. he was having a breakdown on the kitchen floor while digging a rock into his forehead." scott couldn't see either of their expressions and he didn't know if he wanted to.

"his forehead?" jimmy used his hand and lifted scott's head up. opening his eyes a bit, he could see the concentration and worry in his frown. the blond sighed and pressed a kiss to the bandage before letting scott's head drop back gently into his chest. he closed his eyes again. "cleo, i want you to promise me something." scott could imagine her nod. "i want you to be here even if i cannot. it's just inevitable at this point that i die first. he probably won't even lose his first life before i do. i just want him to feel protected and safe." scott felt his own breathing stutter at the thought of losing jimmy permanently. the resurrected man must have sensed this as he moved his wrist into scott's hands to feel the last heart.

"of course i will." scott felt himself drift off as the conversation continued.

his sleep didn't last long though.

he sleepily rubbed his eyes, feeling jimmy get up. his eyes watched as he went and walked out of the door. scott followed.

"jimmy? what are you doing up?" he asked with a yawn. he noticed the other didn't respond. "jimmy?" he tapped him on the shoulder, causing him to jump.

"jeez, honey, you scared me half to death!" jimmy yelped in surprise, a hand over his heart when he turned to scott. the blue haired man sighed.

"you really do have a hard time hearing now, don't you?" he asked queitly. jimmy nodded his head.

"the only reason i was able to have a conversation with cleo was that i have practiced lip reading before this server began. i can hear a few things so it makes it easier to pair the words together." jimmy explained.

"well, we should make a system so i don't keep scaring you and you can hear me speaking." jimmy nodded his head in thought. "maybe we can make a redstone component that allows for me to press something and for another thing to alert you."

"maybe like a flashing light or a vibration like the communicators are set to." jimmy agreed with a nod. "but who can we ask to make whatever system it is?"

"i was thinking to ask tango. he is good at redstone and he seems to be alright to trust right now." scott explained. "maybe we can have him put it into our rings."

"that sounds like a great idea." jimmy smiled .

"hey, what are you doing up anyways?" scott asked before jimmy turned to walk to the kitchen.

"i am kind of hungry right now. cleo and bdub's potatoes and porkchops were delicious. she said right before she left that there was extra and that she will bring over some more food soon. scott nodded his head before sitting on one of the bar stools. he rested his chin against his folded arms and watched as jimmy gracefully worked in the kitchen to heat some of the food up.

before he knew it, a plate was set on the counter in front of scott with some of the reheated food.

he picked up his fork and stabbed some of the potatoes before shoving it into his mouth. scott felt hungry.

"careful you don't break the plate!" jimmy laughed and scott slowed down.

it was comfortable, just the two of them. nothing to worry about and nothing to plan other than just eating and probably going back to bed with full stomachs. scott found himself wishing that he could live like this with jimmy forever.

except for life would never listen.

scott had been tending to the animals, petting a baby sheep that he helped to be born when he heard footsteps. looking up, he could see ren followed by his lackey, martin.

"what are you doing here?" he snarled at the two in a defensive position. his fingers twitched for the handle of his sword at his side.

"chill, we are just here to get the rabbit foot of friendship back." ren casually explained with a laidback smile. his eyes flashed red from under his sunglasses.

"well-"

"hold up, hold up, what is going on here?" scott turned to see jimmy out with his sword pointed at the two outsiders. scott wanted him out of there if anything went wrong.

"aww, look, it's your red puppy." martin laughed with no sense of humor. "always following after the green owner."

scott could see the red blush go up jimmy's cheeks in shame; he knew how he felt when being called a follower or somewhere along that point.

"well, my red life can beat your red life any day!" scott shouted as he wrapped his arm around jimmy's shoulders in reassurance.

"we can just have our red lives fight right here and now." martin bit back with a chuckle. that caused scott to pale.

why did he say that? he would never want jimmy to fight someone when he would surely lose! even if he did win, the weight of killing somebody would be put on his shoulders. he let out an awkward laugh.

"actually I don't think jimmy could win so let's just call it a truce." scott was trying to think of a way to get these guys off of their property and fast. his poor heart couldn't handle it. "okay, we will give you the rabbit foot and you can be on your way, yeah?" he pulled the limb out of his inventory and held it out. the two were coming to grab it greedily.

"wait." jimmy paused them as he grabbed the foot. "what is the catch?" scott inwardly groaned. he just wanted them gone, he didn't care-

"just side with us and put up some banners. an agreement can be arranged soon." ren smiled. scott reached for the foot from jimmy.

"let's just give it to them, it's just a foot anyways. this could be useless-"

"no, we will decline." jimmy snatched it away and held it close to his chest.

"come on-"

"no, scott!" he shouted as he turned to the man in question. he could see a glint of red in his eye as well. "i can't let them do this. before i know it, you will be up on an altar being sacrificed like a lamb to the slaughter as i watch. i don't want to have my hands tied when it comes to your death!" the three others were silent. the only sound came from jimmy as he panted from his rant.

"so that is it then?" martin said with an unsure glance towards the red on his side.

"i guess so." ren turned and walked slowly to the exit. "martin, write that the hobbits are our first enemies." scott could see martin jot something inside a book before following along. ren paused his footsteps and pursed his lips. "i am surprised you two are even staying together even with the instincts." he continued on, leaving scott reeling over his last words.

"instincts? what instincts?"

they had no clue at the time but it came to haunt them early the next morning.

scott was humming while moving his hips to the tune. he was preparing them some breakfast consisting of eggs, toast, and a side of assorted fruit. jimmy was getting their things sorted so they could leave and continue working after they eat.

the green life paused when he heard the heavy breathing behind him and heavy footsteps. it was different to the aloof and clumsy footsteps he was so used to hearing.

"did something upset you, darling?" scott called over his shoulder as he continued chopping up the fruits. he felt an arm snake around him. scott leant back, thinking of the times jimmy would rest his head on his shoulders while he cooked and had his arms around his hips. this time though, the scarred hand grabbed his own hand and brought the knife to his own neck. "j-jimmy?" he called with uncertainty. peaking over his own shoulder, he could see the blond with a snarl across his face. red eyes glaring with violent intent.

scott felt himself tense with fear.

he had not expected this at all. he didn't want to die all alone with his husband leaving him for whatever plan he seemed to have in his mind.

"jimmy? please put the knife down." he tried to keep his voice level but he knew there were cracks that showed otherwise. scott could feel the cool breath tickling his neck that sent a shiver down his spine. the green life knew he could get out of this on his own with no help but he didn't want to hurt jimmy no matter what.

the knife dug into his neck, a trail of blood dripping down.

with gritted teeth, scott grabbed jimmy's arm tight and pulled it down quickly, turning at the same time so he disarmed him from the weapon. kicking the red life in the chest, the blond fell to the ground, trying to get up but not being able to with the knee placed on his sternum. the knife was now up to his neck. the blond was snarling and thrashing around causing the knife to dig into his own neck.

scott tried hard not to cry at the sight.

before he knew it, jimmy was calming down, eyes instead of red returned to their natural shade of blue. he instead looked uncomfortable and confused.

"honey? what are you doing ontop of me with a knife?" scott grit his teeth and blinked, trying to rid his eyes of the painful stinging of unshed tears.

"you tried to kill me in our own kitchen so i had to use self defense." jimmy gasped and his eyes held worry and guilt. instead of trying to pull scott's arms away, he moved one hand to help support the green life and the other to brush over the cut on his neck.

"is this where this came from?" he asked sadly. scott nodded his head and could see the tears fall from jimmy's eyes. "i-i am sorry, i didn't know what i was doing-" scott made the decision to drop the knife to the tiled floor and to collapse into jimmy's arms.

"i know, i know." scott could feel his own tears dampen his cheeks when he finally let them run their course. "it might be your insticts like ren had said." scott made sure to speak up so jimmy could hear them even though he wanted to be quiet. the red life pushed them both up and leaned against one of the cabinets, holding the green life close.

they forgot about breakfast or any of the chores they were planning on doing.

instead, they made plans for the inevitable time when jimmy's instincts took over again.

"i want you to lock me up or tie me down if you notice my eyes turn red." jimmy said slowly. scott just gave him a smile.

"wow, i didn't know you of all people would be into that kind of thing."

"oh god-" they both erupted into much needed laughter. "that's not what i meant!" he tried to explain through his giggles.

"not my fault that it came out wrong." scott chuckled, his smile getting larger at seeing the blush across the other's face. they quieted down, both breathing heavily and their sides aching. "i don't really like the idea of tying you up though..." scott let the smile fall from his face. the thought of having to hold and tackle the man he trusts with his life was scary. "i don't want to hurt you."

jimmy just pursed his lips with a look. "well i don't want to kill you and you know that. it's my insticts that force me to and you have to use self defense to save yourself. in both ways, we are trying to do something for ourselves whether we like it or not." scott nodded his head in agreement, the argument was true in every way.

"alright, but if anyone come by besides cleo at the time, i will be perfectly fine with letting you kill them." jimmy had an unsure look on his face.

"scott, i'm a pacifist, there is no way i would want to hurt anyone at all."

"but what if it fixes our problem of you going rampant?" if jimmy had a conflicted look on his face, it was completely unsure how to respond now.

"i would love to just deal with it, sacrifice some people just to protect you but..." scott could feel his heart feel a bit hurt at the insinuation that even he isn't enough to kill.

"didn't you say you would kill anyone for me though...?" scott tried to not let the ache seep into his voice but it was unsuccessful with the way jimmy's face fell.

"t-that's different, scott. i will kill anyone in sight if it means to protect you. i-i just can't kill anyone just because you want me to-" scott just looked down at his three hearts on his wrist. just to the side was jimmy's wrist that was twitching as if he wanted to comfort him but it was unsure what to do. the one red heart suddenly made him more aware than he had before.

"i'm g-going to my room for a little bit." he tried not to look at the flinch that jimmy gave in response to the statement. 'my room' is not the same as 'our room' after all. getting up, he could see jimmy's arm reach out as if to grab his hand and pull him back. it hesitated and fell onto his lap again.

"a-alright... take your time and if you need me, i will be in my house taking care of things..." scott tensed at the use of 'my' again. he quickly shook it off and went to the bedroom, closing the door and locking it. he knew it was more like a slam rather than a gentle close but right now, his thoughts were running around in his head enough to not make him care.

going over to the bed, he decided to lay down for a bit. everything was getting to be too much to handle at the moment. he just wanted to be alone.

he felt himself become numb to the feelings he was feeling. it felt like everytime jimmy had died but it was happening over and over again. just endless staring at a wall, trying to forget everything in the world. nothing mattered, not death, not life, when he felt like he was in between.

a knock on the door.

"honey? have you gotten any food today?" he could hear jimmy's worry through the slab of wood on hinges that, for some reason, everyone calls a door. scott wonders if the door feels just as numb as he does.

another knock.

"i know you are upset with me and all but... please answer. you are worrying me." his voice sounded so pained. how come scott felt unable to feel this same pain?

frantic knocking.

"scott? please answer. this isn't funny at all." scott wondered why he was given a name. this door is called a door but it is part of a sort of species. does it have its own name?

banging.

"please! this isn't a joke, scott! tell me you are okay!" the door was shaking on its hinges. scott wondered if the door would feel hurt for being hit so much. he thinks he would call it kevin.

the doorknob was being jiggled.

"i know i scared you, i'm sorry, scott! let's just talk about this instead of you ignoring me!" scott almost forgot about the dilema he was in with jimmy. he wanted to forget. the numbness was fading.

his com was being spammed.

the door was practically being abused.

he could hear sobbing on the other side of the door.

more footsteps outside of the door.

scott could feel the anger take hold. he didn't want to open the door and find that someone attacked jimmy while he was vulnerable.

he could hear shushing outside of the door.

a quiet knock.

"scott? it's me, cleo." scott could feel his shoulders relax. it wasn't an intruder. he let the numbness to return. there was no use in being bothered when cleo would be there to protect jimmy.

"-gonna kn- down the- move- the way-" the numbness created a fog over his head. he could barely understand her from where he was staring at the ceiling.

an axe went clean through the door, chopping up the wood.

scott didn't really care for kevin.

it didn't stop until a hand reaches through to grab the handle.

scott didn't really care if this person was coming to kill him. he could live in the fog forever.

he didn't flinch when a hand distantly touched his cheek. not even when he felt the peck of a kiss to his forehead.

scott's eyes watered from just staring at the ceiling with nothing in his mind. they hadn't closed in awhile.

a hand reached over his eyes and closed them. he was internally grateful. he didn't have the energy to open the back up.

a tear from his dried eyes slipped down his face. he would usually be annoyed with it going to his ear since he was laying down but yet again, that would be too much energy to even care.

he could feel his brain shut down for the night.

and when he awoke, he was way more aware than before.

he could hear the snores next to him. hear the light breathing of someone else. he could see more in the daylight that was coming into his room from the broken door. he could feel the crowding and that annoyed him the most.

sitting up quickly, he came aware of how heavy his limbs were. they felt tensed and uncomfortable.

he crawled down to the edge of the bed where he sat. his legs were pulled up to his chest and his head rested on his legs. he was exhausted from that numb feeling. he could still tingling like if something triggered it, he would be dead to the world again.

"scott?" he turned his head to see that both cleo and jimmy were awake. their eyes were wide.

"hey..." his voice croaked out. it felt unused and sore.

cleo came and sat down next to him, jimmy joining on his other side. scott buried his head back into his knees.

"you wanna tell us what that was about?" cleo asked softly. scott really didn't want to explain. he just wanted to sleep longer.

jimmy was oddly quiet. he also sat a bit away from him.

"it would be better to tell us so we can help if it happens again." god, scott hoped it wouldn't. it was inevitable at this point though. it's happened after rough night moments and he was bound to have more soon.

"i s-sometimes get this numb feeling over me." he explained quietly. "it's like a fog cloud over me. it's happened whenever something bad happens..." his voice trailed off when he looked to jimmy. the blond man looked guilty as if he blamed it all on himself. "i can't get rid of it so i just ride it out or something pulls me out. you have helped me a few times, cleo. one time, i realized that i had to really force myself to snap out of it or i wouldn't be able to do anything." the fiery red headed woman nodded in thought.

"would it help if you just rode it out the full way? like got all the numb out of you so it would let you relax for longer?" scott shrugged. he had no clue how this worked. if he did, he would have done something by now. "when do you feel this way the most?"

"well, there are those bad times when crap just finds us no matter what. sometimes, though, there are moments i wake up with the numbness already there. i force myself up and to forget about it."

"do you feel this way now?" scott did. he really did feel numb. it was like she could read minds. he wanted to lay on the bed and forget everything existed. cleo looked to jimmy and the two had a silent conversation. jimmy got up and left the room. "let me explain to you the situation, scott," she started with a serious tone, "you had been stuck in here for a few days. jimmy decided to wait for you to come out after two days so he spent a full day just waiting outside the door. it never opened so he started to get worried. he contacted me to come and help try and get you to open the door. this is a serious situation, scott." he bit his lip and buried his head deeper into his knees. "you haven't eaten, drank, or slept. you have just stared at your ceiling. i know what happened but i'm going to suggest that maybe you and jimmy figure something out together.

"i know that he will be willing to do anything to make you feel better. just talk about it with him, maybe see if you can just ride it out." she suggested.

jimmy walked back into the room with a plate and a glass of water balanced in his hands.

"the good thing about the door being gone is that i can just walk through with lots of things in my arms." jimmy joked with a phantom of a smile on his face. he looked tired with bags under his wary eyes.

cleo laughed at the joke before taking the cup so he could have an easier time getting onto the bed.

"here is some food, it might not be as good as cleo and bdubs's but it is still edible." scott took the plate and could feel his eyes tear up. of course jimmy would remember that he said his comfort food is waffles with syrup and berries. some of the fruit from their garden was chopped and washed to the side. all of them looked like they were chosen just for him. the waffle was in a heart shape and the syrup drizzled was a smiley face.

"it's perfect." scott reassured. jimmy's smile became a little more real at that.

"well, I am going to stay in the living room while you enjoy your breakfast and talk about everything. i will be there if you need me." cleo got up from the edge of the bed before walking out the mangled door and into the living room.

it was silent for a few moments; scott enjoying the juiciest strawberries he had ever tasted and jimmy swinging his legs back and forth, lightly kicking the bed.

"jimmy?" the man hummed to tell the blue haired man he got his full attention. "cleo said i should try and see if i can ride this whole numb thing out this morning." he tried to speak up just for the sake of jimmy's lack of hearing but his voice almost gave up halfway. the blond man handed him the water that cleo had handed back earlier. he took a sip and his throat felt a bit better. "i'm sorry i was speaking so quiet when i was explaining everything. i f-forgot about having to be loud when talking with you." jimmy reached a hand around and rubbed his back soothingly.

"no worries, i could read your lips and if i stayed quiet, i could sort of hear you." scott let a little smile slip onto his face. that explained the whole staying quiet thing.

"i'm sorry about earlier... i just needed a little break-"

"no need for apologies, honey. our situation is... stressful so i understand. and honestly, i would kill just for you. anybody that makes you feel unsafe, i would make sure they won't anymore." scott let the sugary waffle practically melt in his mouth as he listened. "i shouldn't have tried to deny it. i promised you and i ignored it. if killing anyone who gets near us besides cleo will stop these instincts to happen, i would do it in a heartbeat." scott finished the rest of his waffle. jimmy took the plate and set it on the nightstand before handing the water over. scott finished it and it was soon set right next to the dirty plate. "how would you like me to help." scott could hear the truthfulness in his voice. it made him smile.

"just stay with me."

the two clambered up to the top of the bed where they pulled back the blankets to climb in. jimmy's arms wrapped around scott protectively and the blue haired man grabbed his wrist, feeling the bumps of the hearts across his fingertips. his head burrowed into jimmy's oversized night shirt.

"close your eyes so they don't get dried." jimmy whispered into his hair. he could already feel the numbness return but it was lighter. just a small cloud. closing his eyes, he stayed like that, just ignoring everything in the world except for the feeling of comfort. aware, but not completely of his surroundings.

feeling started to return.

it felt like it was barely time but pushing himself up, scott could see the light coming into the room was considerably less bright. jimmy sat up afterwards, looking a bit more rested than he did earlier.

"are you feeling better?" scott nodded his head. he felt better than he had since jimmy's first death.

seeing the way jimmy smiled still made his heart light up into thousands of fireworks. although he hated when those sweet eyes turned red.

"snap out of it, jimmy!" scott yelled at the top of his lungs, tackling the blond to the ground. he had a routine since they had been happening a lot more recently. all of their weapons were locked and stashed away in boxes that jimmy had no access to whatsoever. the only weapon that was out was the one in scott's shoe. it was only used in life or death situations (or when scott was too lazy to open the locker to get a kitchen knife to cut up some fruit.)

"i'll kill you, i'll kill you!" the possessed man snarled, spit splashing onto the other's face. it was like jimmy turned into a wild wolf instead of the usual lovable golden retriever he was. It broke scott's heart.

"please calm down!" the blue-haired man had finally tied him to the metal chair that was attatched to the floor in the 'safe' room (it was more like a room filled with plush walls and floors except for the ominous iron chair that sat in the middle. The ropes were attatched to the back and there were places to attatch jimmy's arms and legs in metal cuffs for extra protection. scott thought it would be fine without but jimmy went and made it anyways for precaution.

his arms thrashed against the cuffs, causing cuts to form along them and his legs were trying to kick madly. if the chair had been not attatched, it would be on the floor with the red life having more space to get out. crimson blood pooled down his arms and scott had to hug himself to not run over and take the cuffs off. "leave me there no matter what. nothing happens until way after this weird instinct passes over for at least a hour." jimmy had ordered with his serious and stern face. the soft face with smile marks was gone.

"i'll string your neck, i will beat you nonstop until your final breath!" the redlife screamed again. his chest could hardly move with how tight the ropes bound it against the seat. scott wanted to curl up on the ground and cry but he had to stand strong with the knife in his hands until it passed. he couldn't give up, if not for himself then for jimmy. the green life knew how bad the other man would take it if he took his life. "you aren't safe! not with a monster like me around! you can't rest with a monster near your bed, then why do you sleep with one!" constant verbal attacks made scott oh so tired but his fist clentched against the knife in determination. he could do this like he had a few times before. they made it and they are still here now.

"i'm not letting you go." scott yelled at the tied up man.

and he didn't.

the clock ticked with each second passing by. it was a standoff with both glaring at each other, few words being exchanged.

and then like magic, jimmy slumped against the chair. his tense muscles relaxed and he looked exhausted. the blond blinked a few times before taking in his surrounding.

"well that is never fun waking up like that." scott let himself relax as well, his scowl turning into a smile.

"how do you feel?" jimmy let his nose wrinkle in thought.

"well, the possessed version of me really did a number on my arms. i currently can't feel them but thats probably cuz of the blood loss. i'm pretty light headed and everything aches like i did a marathon but other than that, i feel quite alright." scott unhooked the cuffs off of his hands and feet before tending to the metal chain around his midsection.

"let's get you something to eat and drink while i fix up your arms." scott promised.

jimmy stood up and his face turned as white as a sheet. his knees buckled and he was going down. luckily, scott was there to catch him.

"correction," jimmy started with his arms around scott's neck, "i am very lightheaded and am starting to feel as if i'm going to pass out." scott's eyes widened in worry.

"right here?" he sat jimmy back down and watched as his eyes rolled like he was trying to fight it.

"right here." jimmy did, in fact, pass out right there. he almost fell out of the chair if it wasn't for scott hugging his chest to keep him up. his hands were looking blue from underneath all the red.

scott got him to lay on the ground before running into the house and grabbing the first aid kit. going back, he could see that the red life looked dead. his skin was a gray tone and everything was sunken in. he looked like scar and ren did.

he shook the thought out of his head before getting to work. he wrapped the wrists after cleaning them and continued to check around for any other injuries. the green life knew he had to get jimmy to eat and drink but it would be an unpleasant experience. it has been for awhile now. he seemed to have gotten sick and lost his appetite even though it was necessary. scott found a lot of their time after meals was on the bathroom floor, rubbing the blond's back as he heaved what didn't settle in his stomach.

now, scott is a worrier. that is pretty obvious but this, this was making him feel more panicked than anything. none of the other red lifers had this problem of feeling sick. they seemed to be doing fine, in fact, having fun just killing off other people while they stayed isolated. he was going to ask grian about it, ask if it were a glitch in the server or something.

after making sure jimmy was okay, he got up and walked to the kitchen. he made himself a salad and sat at the bar trying to think what to say.

     scott> grian, can you call?

it took a few minutes before there was a reply.

     grian> yeah

dialing the number, he brought the com to his ear.

one ring later and a click.

"hey, scott."

"hey, grian." now that he was in the call, he had no idea what to do. jimmy was the one to make calls but the blond didn't want to make this call for some reason.

"... is there anything wrong?" scott breath hitched at that.

"yes" he wanted to say.

"there are some things i want to discuss with you. is it alright if you come over sometime tomorrow?" his words shook as he talked.

"sure, is everything alright? anything i can do at the moment?" his voice sounded concerned. his tone was serious enough to reassure scott that he would be willing to help.

"i think that's all, really. thank you so much."

"no problem. have a good night now." scott watched as the com turned from green to red, signalling the call ended.

he sighed and stabbed another leaf. he knew he should tell cleo and ask for help. the numbness was starting to return after a few weeks without it. maybe he could forget about it until after he talked with grian tomorrow? jimmy still needed to heal after all...

scott rested his head on the counter, next to the barely picked salad next to him as he drifted to sleep.

---

jimmy had gotten up sometime in the night.

his head ached and looking around, the light was off and a blanket was draped over his body. he remembered what happened and looked at his wrists. the bandages were red with blood. wincing, he got up and walked out of the room with some troubles.

it was quiet.

jimmy should be used to the quiet now that his hearing was messed up. the only thing he could hear was the light pattering of rain on the windows.

walking to the kitchen, he could barely make out the form of scott slumped against the counter. the light and his lack of eyesight really weren't helping him to see.

he did notice the light snores as scotts chest moved up and down in a rhythm. going to the other side and into the kitchen, jimmy could see tears rolling down his sleeping face. his face looked older with worry lines etched into his cheeks and forehead. a frown was pulling his lips down. leaning over the counter, he pressed a kiss to his sleeping forehead.

jimmy sighed, running a hand through his own hair.

he was worried about scott. everything seemed to be placed on his shoulders including all of jimmy's mistakes and problems. the blond knew that scott was going through another one of his numb days. he always slept awfully when it was going to happen. everything was too much. lightning lit the room from outside.

his eyes caught the glimpse of a knife drying on a towel during the brief light.

he recognized it as scott's personal knife. he must have used it to eat whatever was in the bowl next to his sleeping body. the blue-haired man must have been so exhausted that he didn't have the energy to clean it up.

jimmy started to clean off the counter, putting things away carefully and washing and dishes. it helped his mind stay in one place and focus on the task at hand. he put the salad away (another flash of lightning told him that,) in case scott wanted it later. he finished up by drying the dishes and putting them away as they came.

one dish after the other.

jimmy tried to ignore the feeling that was bubbling in him.

the cups clanked against each other.

a few more dishes and he could go to bed.

silverware put neatly into the drawer.

he could sleep the feeling and pain away.

the only thing left was the knife.

his breath stopped and he shook his head. gripping on the counter, he tried to ground himself. looking to scott in the dim light didn't help.

"stop, jimmy." he muttered to himself.

looking to scott again, he could see that the man looked so much more rested when he wasn't dealing with jimmy's problems. he could stop scott from taking care of a burden like himself.

grabbing the knife, he did the unthinkable.

he stabbed himself.

the blood loss that he was already suffering from was making everything feel so loopy. it felt like he was swimming in pain. jimmy dropped to the floor, the knife still in his chest. he didn't know what was happening except for a moment later, scott's face appeared. he looked so shaken and confused.

he may not hear a lot anymore but he did hear the scream that harmonised with the lightning.

---

a long night.

scott was so very tired. he didn't know what happened. all he heard was news from other people around him. his hands somehow made it to his phone, calling cleo and telling her what was wrong. she sounded shaken on the other line, bdubs was concerned about why they were up at three am.

the first person to arrive was grian.

he was calm and collected, taking everything in and trying to understand. he wore a raincoat over his sleep wear, slippers still on his feet and an umbrella in hand. he had a bag of medical equipment. it was a magical tool that owners and admins of server had to fix any situation. grian did his best, helping to make sure jimmy wasn't going to die at a moment's notice while trying to keep scott from going into shock.

the next person to arrive was bdubs.

he had gone ahead of cleo who was gathering stuff from their base to bring over. his sleep robe was wet with rain and his hair looked a mess but he didn't care. he sat next to scott and gave grian some extra room to work. he was kind, making sure that scott had some water and breathed. he carefully helped to wash the blood from scott's hands into the sink. the blue-haired man cried more when he saw the dishes were done, presumably by the injured man. bdubs supported his weight the whole time. he acted like a father goose would and it was comforting.

and finally, cleo arrived.

she walked in and came into the kitchen with a tired smile on her face. she made a joke how she didn't want to find another thing happening in their kitchen. scott let out a hysteric, wet laugh.

with the three of them helping, jimmy was moved to the other room to rest while scott just stayed on the ground shaking. bdubs had wrapped his arm around him and let him put his head against his shoulder. a cup of hot chocolate that cleo made earlier was situated in his shaking hands. he sniffled every so often but he wasn't going to hyperventilate any time soon.

and this is the part he really remembers.

---

"scott, what happened?" grian asked softly. bdubs hugged him closer as if to assure he was there. cleo was on the other side of scott, holding his now cleaned hand. grian sat on the other side of the kitchen floor, his sleep wear bloodied but he didn't looked bothered.

"y-yesterday," he cringed when he stuttered, "jimmy had another one of his red instincts take over. we made a truce to keep him locked up to keep me safe." grian nodded his head. "after it happened, his wrists were cut up and injured from metal digging into it. he passed out from blood loss and i cleaned him up. i went to the kitchen after to message you and eat some dinner. i fell asleep after."

"what did you want to talk about with me?" grian asked, his face was neutral. scott bit his lip and looked down.

"it's more so over something happening with jimmy." he explained and watched as grian's face turned into sympathy.

"it happens with the way red lives are made. they are supposed to want to kill other people and fight to the death. if they don't let out their bloodlust, they start to naturally die as if they were a corpse. it is the unfortunate ways of the life cycle. jimmy will continue to lose his appetite until he kills more people." scott nodded his head. he understood. this is a server meant for war. both he and jimmy signed up for this. it was silent for a second before grian sighed. "i have a proposal for all of you." scott could see he was tired. "how about we team up?" the blue-haired man thought about it. it was a smart team up since he was already doing well with the other members (minus the situation where the desert's trap killed jimmy.) "it is going to end soon. it would be a lot easier if we all teamed up and went against the others."

"i agree." scott said without any hesitation. if jimmy could kill some other people, he could start to feel better soon. it also meant he could trust more people and they would be able to get off the server soon.

"we agree as well." bdubs said with a nod. scott felt safer with this group of people. the fog was getting clearer.

"it is settled then."

they decided to call it a night.

---

in all honesty, scott was nervous.

this was going to be a huge fight, a battle, a war. the other team was advacing and the only thing they had was redstone that grian hopefully didn't mess up. looking back, he could see his husband inside the barricades with a bow pulled out.

"hey," he turned to grian who had a reassuring smile on his face, "it will be alright. just breathe." the blue-haired man took a few deep breaths to calm his increasing anxiety.

it was a blur after that.

swords clashed with swords, people were screaming and the smell of death was in the air. scott didn't even get to see the grand finale that would surely let them win the whole war in fireworks.

etho's arrow penetrated into his heart and he felt himself fall to the ground.

---

jimmy watched as scott died, his mouth became dry with worry. he had to get back to help him. he had to e there like scott was there for him.

he knocked arrow after arrow into his bow and shot at speeds he had no idea he had. he needed to survive.

the ground exploded.

the joy he should have felt was interrupted. nobody died. nobody except the one person who mattered, he thought bitterly.

he watched as grian was shot by martin, falling to the ground to disappear and the other team advanced to their box. he was trapped with another red life idiot. 

he continued to shoot at enemy. his fingers stung from the string and his quiver was become emptied as each arrow soared through the sky. he was bending down to sneak a bite of food when an arrow hit him. looking up, he could see skizz smirking. it changed when jimmy grabbed at the ledge to keep himself standing. he was fatally shot and there was no way to escape this. it was always worse the last life; you feel everything that is happening and your body will be left  laying there on the battle field.

he could feel scar lower him to the ground, enemy fire stopped at the moment. it was eerily quiet even with his bad hearing.

"s-scott?"

"he's safe for now." the red eyes above him seemed yo dim in pity. jimmy nodded his head, content.

"please, p-protect him. su-suport him... tell him..." jimmy coughed, blood was soaking his gloves. "i love him..." he had his eyes open, seeing everything and the next minute, there was nothing.

---

scott gasped as he lurched from the bed.

his hands ripped his clothing away and exposed the closing wound over his heart. his chest heaved up and down, feelinf bile rise up his throat. he barely made it to the bathroom before he heaved everything out of him. he was so tired and wanted someone to help him.

after awhile just sitting there, he got up and walked back to his room. he had to go find out what happened. jimmy was probably on his way back, caught up with fighting. that's probably why he wasn't there to greet him.

he walked to the door, opening it and walking outside.

the flowers were dim. it felt wrong. the air smelled like a storm was brewing. the grass looked yellow from where he was.

"scott!" he turned when he heard footsteps. he took his extra sword out and held it out in defence from where the sound was.

the bushes pushed away bdubs who was running with a body in his arms.

his body went cold when he recognized that sandy blond.

running to them, he took the body in his arms and dissolved into sobs. he fell to the floor, cries echoing the area. his fingers clung at the captain america fabric his husband oh so dearly loved and his eyes searched for any sort of life. the only thing he could see was the arrow in his skull.

bdubs was behind him, rubbing his back soothingly. he was humming a song as the dark clouds caved in.

scott screamed and let all his frustrations out into the corpse's chest.

"i trusted them that he would live!" scott yelled as the anger poured out. "he could have lived if everyone just listened to me! who did this!" he spun to bdubs who was gazing with an upset glance.

"skizz killed him, i'm sorry, scott." the yellow life wrapped his own hands around his neck.

"i'm going to kill myself, i can't do this anymore, i need him, i'm going to kill myself!" bdubs carefully, but quickly took his hands from his neck with a frown. "i can't do this anymore, i don't want to do this anymore, get me out of here!" his cries echoed the surrounding area.

"scott, please calm down." bdubs held the crying man in his arms tight. "it's going to be okay, we're going to be okay."

scott knew it wasn't going to ever be okay.

---

jimmy was buried ontop of the hill of their home.

his grave was the best scott could do on his own with what little time he was given. bdubs made the decision to take him back to the grassle instead of leave him, unstable and all, in the flower cove. he was packing while scott said his last goodbyes.

"we never got our rings made." scott whispered. "we did get temporary placeholders though." he looked at the ring on his hand. it was a silver band with jimmy's name carved in blue. "you kept it on even while battling... you still have it on..." scott leaned against the grave stone. "we still had so much to do... i love you." he pressed his lips to the stone and pat it.

he left his green flower crown ontop before leaving.

---

everything was foggy.

scott knew that cleo had died and he was upset. it all tumbled from there.

he did cry when they buried her. his face was steeled and he tried to ignore all his feelings. nothing mattered if he didn't let it.

bdubs was experiencing his own grief, talking nonstop as his way to cope.

grian and scar moved over shortly after.

one time, scott even found his chance to kill the murderer of his husband.

he only true emotion he felt after the man was killed was glory. at least they avenged the fallen. it was shortly lived, more battles coming into focus. he went through the motions.

slash, another person injured.

slash, another person maimed.

slash, another person that tried to kill jimmy.

he was a machine. not sleeping and still being ready to fight at a moment's notice. he was thinner, the others tried to get him to eat. he didn't have the appetite, not when jimmy was unable to eat from six feet under. scars littered his body and he didn't care to heal them. the only things that caused him to stay alive this long was bdubs.

he tried his best to feed the group, allowing for everyone to share their needs. he cleaned everyone up after battles with a first aid kit he always stocked. he made and fixed clothing that was damaged.

scott saw him go out to cleo's grave every morning to tend to the flowers.

was scott too much of a coward to go back to jimmy's grave? was he an awful person for not wanting to go back ever again? he didn't want to remember, he just wanted to go through the routine.

nothing would stop him.

---

scott found himself being chased.

he was screaming to the people behind him how it was their faults that jimmy died. they had already killed him earlier in the day but he kept fighting. they tried to convince him it wasn't their faults.

"we wanted him to live." martin said with a smile. scott wouldn't let the anger out. he let ran as trees burned from the flaming arrows.

"no, you didn't!" he tried to dodge attacks but was slowed by some of the arrows that hit him.

he tried to get a quick bite of food to heal himself by turned just as he was struck by a blade.

ren's grayed face smiled at him.

"say hi to jimmy for us."

the sword was pulled from scott's body, causing him tk immediately black out from the pain.

---

he woke up.

the forest floor was a grayed green. everything was more dark than before.

he got up and decided to look around.

"hello? anybody there?" he called as he walked. he found a flower trail and began to follow it. the area was familar but he couldn't put his finger on it.

he walked through a gate and entered a beautiful area.

it hit him hard. this was where jimmy and him lived. it was more updated, it's what he pictured when he built.  the end result was amazing.

"it's what i wanted it to eventually look like... i just... ran out of time." he whispered to himself.

"oh, you're here!" his heart stopped (if it even can) when he heard the voice. he recognized it.

turning, he saw the one person he loved.

"jimmy?" he called as the other ran forewards.

"you're here!" the sky began to lighten and the grass turned greener. the flowers brightened. the grayed man turned back into the golden retriever energy he once had.

"where's here?" scott asked with uncertainty.

"this is it." jimmy pulled him close into a hug. scott felt the warmth he had been missing blossom in his chest.

"this is it." he gripped the back of the other's outfit.

"this is the end." they pulled apart. jimmy cupped his cheeks in his hands. "i was wondering when you would turn up."

"the after?" scott asked as the tears bubbled up in his eyes.

"the end."

"home?" scott couldn't help but ask the golden retriever like man.

"home." he assured with a kiss to the cheek.

Words: 13,573
Written: Sunday, July 25, 2021 1:05 am
Published: Sunday, July 25, 2021
Edited:

(Ive actually spent weeks on this crap. I started writing this before 3rd life ended and I just finished. This one was surprisingly hard to write and I rushed the end. Maybe one day I will edit it and make it actually good.)