What is left to lose?when the light has fadedwhat is left to lose?when you choose to forgetWhat is left to lose?when everything repeatsthe light we know has fadedI feel their painthe light that guild usthe light that we forced to forgetI'm just a lost soul.the soul that lived in a lifeless bodywonder what reality is and what is in his mindwater reflect image...It reflects our life choosesClose your eyes listen to what they are sayingwhat is carry in the windwhat are they trying to say?they are my companionwhen the light fadedI can not cryI can not forgetI can not fightI feel numbwhen I'm alone "I should be happy that no one ever sees me cry or the upset me."" should be happy when people don't realize what I have to go to; I'm just a pushover.""useless""broken""freak"there are so many ways I could describe myselfPlease blame it on me.don't blame yourselfI can take it all because I'm dying slowly as long as you are happyI can drown my self in the tear I draw. I can look for a solution to end this process as soon as possible.why can't I do it?Just a cut...Just a quick cut to forget the pain.to realize that I'm real I have forgotten what it is like to cry.I have forgotten what it is like to be myself.I have forgotten what it is like to be in control.I have forgotten what it is like to be real.I have forgotten what it is like to be fearless.hehe...Laughing at my own pain.because that is how pathetic I amWhat is it like to be me?I sure no one cares about that.I want to know what is it like to be you.your life seems so beautifulso peacefulWhy can't I be like you?Why can't I be as strong as you?Why can't I cry?Why can't I show my emotion?Why does the mask have to leap on whenever that door is open?I don't feel like myself.I can only smile...Ignoring negative thoughtsIgnoring the ignorance act of others around me.One little touch...One little connection from people...One little connection will cause me to feel their pain.How do I protect myself?My energy is draining. I guess they were doing what I want.maybe the only solution is to take a final stepmaybe if I consistently get my energy drain, I could have the courage to end it all.I see them she has lost so many people...I'm causing her pain.the pain that I can't undothe pain that will never fade...is Forgetting someone an Option?Forgetting someone is selfish?it is selfish to end my life so that others live happily?it is selfish to boost others up so they could move forward?they hear my laughter they see my smilethey never see my tearthey will never see my anger the mask I wearhide all the negative emotionto not be pushed awayto not be a burden to anyone I'm sorry...sorry for being a burden I'm sorry...sorry for being weakI'm sorry sorry for being uselessI'm sorrysorry for not helping you when you are downI'm sorrysorry for the pain you have to carryI'm sorrysorry for everythingI only know to say sorry.because of it all my faultsso sorry...sorry for stepping in people shoes...sorry for my actions...trying to understand other people lifeI'm sorry I have been selfish...Want to keep a friend when she is sufferingso selfish...stepping in people shoes without permission...sorry...sorry I'm sorryWishing I could stop my curiosity Wishing I could say anything rather than sorryI act evil...I can act like a child...but yes it's childish and ignorant of me...I see why people tend to hate me.I glad that they hate me.hate the person I have becomeI hate it too...the only I said isI'm sorry...he is no longer here...I'm fineI'm still alivebut...I wish that I could act like my old self.Wishing that I could bring a smile to otherI'm sorry...Don't leave me...I'm a lost boy the boy who act like someone elsewishing to be stronger than he is in his head, he wishes there are magic it the only thingthe only thing that amuses him making him look ahead...but He is dying...the only thing he said is"If I have a choice to FORGET or to CONTINUE, I would instead choose to CONTINUE I want them to be happy want them to forget their pain even if I'm killing my self during the process."