Heh...
it has been so hard..
One second your anxiety fly at you
Causing your vision to go dark...
Emotions all get mixed...
Your heart feel like it about it shatter
From it fast beating
Sometimes I just feel
Numb...
Don't want to do anything
Wishing I could end it...
Wonder if it would be better if I just...
Let go...
I keep telling myself to hide my emotions
My true self...
I keep my fake smile
But
It just shattered when a single question about my past...
Came up...
I don't know what to do...
I can't control my anger or even sadness...
I get angry but I
Try to laugh but why does
My emotions have to...
Get in my way?...
It so funny how my emotions get shut down...
Causing me to not talk to anyone or to even do anything
All the memories I have
Some even faded away...
The person that I used to know left me because
There is nothing interesting about me anymore...
Sometimes I have hide myself
Just to be dark...
Evil...
Cold...
Emotionless...
Just to save myself from people around me
I can make my friend's smile by saying dark thoughts.
But...
I just wish that...
Everything around me would just rewind...
back to how it used to be...
The friend that always positive
All ways act like a mother to us...
But I guess time took that away...

She lost her self, some of her memoemories...

She so far away from me...
I couldn't even help her...
I Can't even reach out...
Can't even remember some memories we share...
I don't even know how to help myself
I don't even know how to help without killing my soul day by day...