Sorry is what I can say

Apologize is all I can do

My emotions are detached

My soul are wounded

I hate those wound

I hate the pain

But all I fear are The fact that I might lose theme

Fear that I would lose those emotions

Those happy memories

I hate the pain that hides deep inside

I don't have wounds on my body

But the scars are there

It always covers my heart and soul

Where no one would ever see or know

Guys...Can I just lay down and shut down?

Like a robot that

can simply shut down despite time moving on

Sorry

Sorry is all I can say when my mind goes to

The darkest realm of the universe

I hate myself because I rely on other

I hate myself because I keep relying myself on you guys

I said I would take your pain and suffering

But all I been doing is stand there and watch

I can act that everything is alright

But

I know you guys are going through the path alone

Without me

I love the feeling of having friends

But fear the sense of betrayal or

the image of a friend of mine slip away like time.

Time is everyone friend

Time always there

But always running

Sometimes I miss you guys so much that I felt

Like time had slow down

I was asleep but still, Feel

Time was slow, and my body was cold

but all I felt was the sense of numbness

all I feel was the fear

Because I know when our light had faded away

That is the only thing we would feel before death arrive

I held on the memories

While crying deep inside knowing that one day it will disappear

I hate the pain that other people in the past left me with

The wound that they stab

But I'm continuing what they did to me

Using the same knife.

Piercing the same scar within my soul and heart

I'm numb to the pain of betrayal

But how do I numb myself from the feeling of seeing friends left me and move on?

I can't face it

I'm not strong like they say

It just a mask I wear

A thousand masks always leach on when I'm in pain

When you guys are in pain

I stand up

With the mask, no one can see

The mask that my friends called "Bravery.

"A mask of a Warrior that would do everything

To treasure and protect the friendship

But it wasn't me

I'm never that strong nor even that brave

There is another mask

The friendly the cute side

The mask that you guys called"The true Min."

But it just a mask

I can't handle the fact that you guys see my pain

So I put on a mask of Empathy and passion...

The mask of Empathy

Helps me connect with you guys

Passion help me show my smile and bring joy to your life

But it all an act of pain

I didn't understand the word love

Or what it truly meant

Love for me is loyalty

I felt warm when being with her

At peace when with you guys

Felt joy when you guys are there

But there is a mask that no one knows

The mask that hides me from the reality

No one in my life, not even my family

I kind of like that feeling

But don't understand the meaning of Warmth in family

All I felt is coldness

The cold of the dark shadowy night

The chill of the deep rain forest

The coolness of the ocean rushing

Crashing into the soul of those we called "Weakling.

The mask I wear is useful

They protect me and help me

In this world because

I'm simply a weakling without them

But the price cost way too much

The prices are my emotions and friendship

Have friends but the fear of losing them are way too high.

I always say this

"I don't fear death; what I fear is the pain I left."

I don't want to lose you guys

But I know I will.

It only a matter of TIME.

Remember that I once told you

my mind is wild?

And the images that my mind created to make me felt amaze

Or somewhat cool?

well they did but what they brought are fear

The shadow are creeping in

I'm stuck sitting in the corner

Hoping for a sign of light

To fill my soul with hope

When the shadow-filled the room

Trapping the child in complete darkness

A realm of no escape

The realm of the broken

A small beam of light shines down on the boy

Leading him through the darkness

To the middle of the room

where Magic and Fantasy come to life

Helping me felt safe and powerful

Enough to survive in this world

We all called REALITY.

The boy sit down in the middle of the room

The room is darker than ever

But there was a small circle

That keep him safe within

Fire crashing around the room

Lighting up the room

Water leaping and dancing

Forming an image of a group of friends

Image of them playing and talking to each other

Image of them singing and laughing

But then

Water form the picture of each one of them crying

Even the boy

Water continues to leaps around

Fire Dancing in the dark-room with a small dim of light

Of the fireball that's bouncing around

The room turn green

The sense of grass under the boy's feet felt more real

The smell of nature appear around the boy

He no longer sees darkness

Just a forest with teens running around

Somehow brought him joy and tear

Image of a girl with green hair and beautiful glazing

Eyes of the Forrest singing in the middle

But

Soon they all faded away

All there left are darkness

Lightning blasting

zooming around the room

Drawing an image of them with a new person

A boy who has anxiety and all mental problem...

Imagine of the dad hit him with a frying pan

And leaving his mom behind appear

But

The truth isn't always that tragic.

Part of it was a lie,

Or was it all a nothing...

But a simple Lie?

The boy watched in silence

All the emotions and Pains

wrapped him whole

The mask that he wore were never shatter

They were simply slipping off

Everything will be alright

Is all he hears

The echoes never fade

They continue

There is nothing to do but cry

All the emotions and memories

Flashes back once again

Water draw imagine of a boy look at his phone with tears

The fire slowly burning the friendship photo

Light flicker in the room

"I can't lose you."

"I won't."

"I can't let go."

The flame had stopped

The water draw an image of a boy smiling

As his tears till roll

"I could have lost you."

"My light."

Watery image dissolve back into water

Continue to leap

As it swirling with the fireball

And everything simply faded to black

It like a movie

That been set on repeat

That continue to play and continue

to haunt us

forever and ever

Our mind is beautiful yet scary, isn't it?

It protects us when we are fearful

It haunt us when we are most vulnerable

It kills us when we are moving on