A pizza delivery boy was riding his bike across the void of space. It was his first day at his new job and he was very excited

On Mustafar, Obi-Wan was confronting the most dangerous enemy he's ever faced and coming to terms of the betrayal of his former friend

Obi-Wan: "You have allowed this dark lord of the sith to twist your mind until now"

He was quiet for a moment, in contemplation

Obi-Wan: "Until now you have become the very thing you swore to destroy"

His former apprentice looked back at him with contempt and anger

Shrek: "Back off!" He yelled angrily "This is my new swamp!" He announced in reference to Mustafar

Obi-Wan: "Your new swamp?" He looked back at Shrek in disbelief. Mustafar was his swamp? Seriously?

Shrek violently turned around to glare at his former master and friend

Shrek: "Yes, my swamp!" He pointed at himself

Obi-Wan: "Shrek, my allegiance is to the republic. To democracy!"

Shrek: "You dense irritating miniature beast beast of burden! I don't care what everyone likes!"

Obi-Wan: "Only a sith deals in absolutes" He pulled out his lightsaber "I will do what I must"

Shrek: "Oh really?" He glared "You and what army?" He asked as he got out an onion, preparing to throw it like a thermal detonator

Before they could begin their fight, they were interrupted as they heard some commotion. They both turned to see a sight they didn't expect

In that moment, Peter Parker walked forward, holding a stack of boxes. Shrek however, was having none of it

Shrek: "Oh hello there. What are ya doing in my swamp!?"

Peter walked forward and put the boxes on a small platform on the landing pad, using it as a table

Peter: "Pizza time" he announced happily

Shrek: "Go away! Stubborn jackass!"

Peter frowned and picked up the boxes, walking away sadly and sulking like a kicked puppy. He dragged the pizza boxes across the ground from the bungee cord. He was slouched over and crying while he walked, knowing that he'd be gouging himself on those boxes later that night while he cried.

Meanwhile, Shrek continued to glare at Peter

Shrek: "Bye bye" He waved his hand condescendingly "See ya later" He whispered

Once Peter began crying, Shrek began to wonder if his tears might land in the lava pool and cool down the whole planet. Hopefully he wouldn't cry that much

The next day Peter was in his apartment, having eaten all the pizzas himself. While he was sitting down, he heard a knock on his door.

He got up to open it and saw that it was his landlord's daughter, Ursula Volodymirovich Ditkovna on the other side

Ursula: "Hi Pete" She awkwardly waved

Peter: "Hi"

Ursula: "Would you like a piece of chocolate cake?"

Peter: "Uh, yeah, sure"

Ursula: "And a glass of rhino milk?"

Peter: "That'd be nice. Thank you"

Once she returned, Peter began eating. They also made small talk.

As soon as he finished the cake and rhino milk, he gave the plate and glass back to Ursula, thanking her again for the offer

Once she left, Peter went to the pay phone in his apartment to call his boss about the incident on Mustafar. It went as poorly as you'd expect

Boss: "You're fired!" He yelled through the phone "I'll make sure to offer your old Job to whoever you hate the most for double what I paid you!"

Peter: "You didn't pay me anything"

That really set him off. He continued screaming so loud that Peter held the phone away from his head. He eventually hung up in the middle of his ranting and turned away

As Peter walked away from the phone in anger and disappointment, it rang again.

He turned around and picked up the phone, holding it to his ear

Peter: "Hello?" The person at the other end began talking "Yeah?"

Palpatine: "The time has come" Peter continued to listen intently "Execute order 66"

Peter hung up the phone and walked out of the room with a purpose

(Imagine this song playing)

He started at Harry Osborn's house

Harry: "Will you kill me like you killed my father?"

Peter: "You were an embarrassment to him" He practically laughed at his former friend's misery "Gonna cry?"

Peter threw a pumpkin bomb at Harry

Later at night, May Parker was in her house praying

May: "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us-"

Before May could finish the prayer, Spiderman destroyed her window and charged in

He reached his arm forward, ready to eliminate execute her while she screamed in terror

While Peter was dealing with May, Mr Ditkovich was dealing with another target

Mr Ditkovich was staring face to face with Karen. Yes. That Karen

Karen: "Get me your manager!" She screamed at the man pointing a gun at her

Mr. Ditkovich: "This is a free country it's not rent free country" He announced as he shoved her

Karen found herself on the ground

Rey saw the commotion and rushed up to help Karen

Mr. Ditkovich: "It's none of your business, go!" He snapped at Rey

Rey shrugged her shoulders and left, while Karen tried to get up, but her fat ass made it very difficult, leaving her stuck on the ground until a forklift could get her up

Mr. Ditkovich: "Give me rent!"

Karen glared angrily at him

Mr. Ditkovich: "Where is my money?!" He pulled the trigger

Karen died

While Mr Diktovich dealt with Karen, Peter, who was done with May Parker, went to deal with the next target

Jar Jar: "Oh, Mooie-Mooie! I Love You!"

Peter: "You're trash"

Jar Jar: "I spake!"

Peter: "I missed the part where that's my problem" He said. Then he jumped up to a ledge above

Peter: "Up up and away a web!" He announced as he shot a web down to Jar Jar and lifted him up

Jar Jar: "Sucky sucky! 5 dollar!" He said once he was up high enough

Peter: "Fly" he called as he threw Jar Jar down back to ground level where he landed on pike and got impaled

Peter: "Stings doesn't it?"

While this was going on, the resistance quickly figured out about order 66 and made a move to stop it

(The order 66 music stops here)

Rey, Finn, and Poe fought against a group of Stormtroopers

While they were driving their speeders through the desert, Stormtroopers with threaded speeders began launching Stormtroopers with jetpacks against Poe and Finn

Finn: "They fly now?!" He asked in fear

Poe: "They fly now!" He shouted back in annoyance "They've always been able to fly"

Finn looked at Poe in surprise at Poe's revelation and tone of voice

Poe: "Have you never seen a jetpack before?"

Finn: "Not the stormtroopers!"

Finn: "Those" He pointed in the sky towards what he actually meant

Poe looked off in the distance in shock. He very quickly understood what Finn meant by 'They fly now'

Poe: "...Oh" he said, very disturbed

Poe: "Yeah... That makes more sense. And those things being able to fly... That's creepy"

Rey: "We almost made it. Once we get to their base, we can confront the emperor!"

Once they made it to the base they quickly rushed inside along with the rest of the resistance

As the resistance made their way to Palpatine and Shrek, they made it to a large door

The door opened to reveal Peter Parker on the other side, dancing

Everyone turned to a Jedi in the group that looked like The Unusual Suspect, clearly wanting him to take care of the threat. While Peter pulled off his coat and threw it at the resistance while he kept dancing

The Jedi nodded, really excited to fight Darth Peter. He walked up to the front of the group

Rey: "We'll take the long way" she said as the group left

Peter kicked a chair at the Jedi, which he quickly activated his lightsaber to cut in half. He held his lightsaber, ready for combat. Meanwhile, Peter kept dancing

Peter stopped dancing. He grinned and pulled out his lightsaber, holding it in front of him. He activated it, having the red blade out.

The pulled out and activated his second lightsaber

Peter: "That all ya got?" he asked condescendingly. He activated the other side of his lightsaber, not expecting the Jedi to be able to one up him again

The Jedi grinned and pulled out a third lightsaber and activated it by putting it in his mouth

Peter: "I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye"

The Jedi grinned around the lightsaber in his mouth and rushed at Peter. His 3 lightsaber blades actually being able to overwhelm him

Peter: "Go web go" He shot a web at the Jedi's mouth and pulled the lightsaber out

Jedi: "Fus Roh Dah!" He force pushed Peter

Peter flew back across the area, off the bridge, and down to a lower bridge at a lower area. The whole time he was screaming

He hit the bridge and it hurt. He tried to get up with the expected results

Peter: "My back" He tried to get up again, but failed when he heard the violent cracking of his damaged spine "Ughp. My back" He crouched down again in pain

The jedi: "Who has the high ground now? Bitch!" He called down to Peter

Peter: "I missed the part where that's my problem"

He shot another web at the Jedi and pulled him down, only to impale the jedi on his own lightsaber

Peter: "How'd that get in there?" He laughed

He then walked out of the area, snapping his fingers, while the funky soul played in the room. How a room with no sound system was able to play that song was a mystery.

Peter: "See ya chump!" He called back on his way out the door

While this happened, Rey was fighting Shrek. It was going poorly

Peter came in to see Rey barely holding up. He then went into a trance as he remembered all the important life lessons

Himself: 'Who am I? Are you sure you want to know?'

Mr Aziz: 'You're fired'

Norman: 'You know how much I've sacrificed?!'

Mr Aziz: 'Go-oh!'

Uncle Ben: 'With great power comes great responsibility'

Himself: 'Who am I? I'm Spiderman'

He screamed at Shrek

Peter: "Hraaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And so, Peter managed to defeat Shrek. Then, he and Rey teamed up against Palpatine and Snoke. After that, the galaxy was saved and in the new era of peace, Kylo Ren attended sith lords anonymous. Meanwhile, once Peter finally killed his old boss, he ended up in a harem and eventually he Married Rey and Ursula.

The 3 of them married and lived happily ever after on Mustafar

(The end)

Well, April fools. Chapter 2 was supposed to come out first, but I couldn't get it done in time. Don't worry. Chapter 2 will be up by next week. Also, I recommend looking at the sources I used for the images I used.