You were practicing moving your servos when Bumblebee came into your cell. You smile at your friend.

"Hey, Bug", you say. His wings go up slightly and you knew he was smiling behind his mouth guard.

:Hey, (N/N).: he whirled at you. :How are you doing?:

"I'm able to move my servos a lot more! Maybe I'll be able to walk soon!"

Bumblebee nodded before pausing in thought for a moment.

:Do you want to try to walk today?:

You grin at him. "You'd let me?!"

Bumblebee shakes with laughter. :Yeah. You can support yourself with your servos now and you've been able to move your legs quite a bit so the next step is to make sure you can put weight on your pedes now.:

You smile. In the month and a half you had been here, you had felt more welcome than on the Decepticon warship. You missed your brother of course, but you had also created a couple new friends, like Bumblebee, and surprisingly Arcee and Ratchet. Well, Ratchet was iffy. But you were slowly allowed to come out of your cell more and more often, though someone had to carry you. (That was Bumblebee most of the time.)

:You ready to take your first step in a month and a half?: Bumblebee asked.

You nodded but was a bit nervous yo stand up. Bee chuckled. :Don't worry. I'm here to help you. I won't let you fall.:

You smile at him, and, with the help of Bumblebee, stand up. You grin at him, and take a shaky step forward, almost falling in the process. However, Bumblebee caught you and you instantly felt embarrassed. If you were a human, you knew you would be blushing like crazy.

Yes, the humans had taken a liking to you. They weren't allowed near you, but you were able to converse with them at times. You were especially close to little Raf. That was probably due to his guardian being one of your only friends in the Autobot base. There were times you wished you could stay with the Autobots, but you knew as a Decepticon that that could never happen.

Bumbleber helps you straighten, being a little tense himself, not expecting to have to hold most of your weight.

"Sorry, Bug. This might take a little longer than we anticipated", you chuckle nervously.

Bumblebee only smiled. :It's fine. It means I get to hold you closer than normal.:

He almost dropped you out of embarrassment. You were certain that your spark was about to burst out of your chest at that. You tried to calm yourself down as you hid your face from him.

:I mean-! Sorry! That's not what I meant! I meant that this allows me to spend more time with one of my closest friends...: Bumblebee quickly explains. You smile softly, though you know he couldn't see it.

"It's okay, Bug. I understand what you meant. It'd be kind of awkward between us if we started liking each other right?" You laughed nervously.

Bumblebee laughed nervously as he agreed with you. It drifted off into an awkward silence as you tried to figure out what to say next.

"Right! Well, shall we keep getting me to walk?" you ask, avoiding looking your bu- er, Bumblebee in the optics. Bumblebee nodded and you found yourself taking small steps forward with the help Bumblebee. Soon, you were able to walk all on your own, though your legs did grow tired very quickly. You had to rest on the floor for a while and during that time, you and Bumblebee joked around. Raf came and joined you and Bumblebee to tell you about some of his experiences when he gets stuck on a mission with the Autobots. He doesn't mind doing background stuff like ground bridge controls but when he's out on the field, he gets really scared. You smile at him softly.

"I'm guessing it's the Decepticons that scare you, Raf?" you ask. He nods. Your smile disappears and turns to sad frown.

"I hope I don't scare you... After all, I am a Decepticon..."

"But you don't act like one", Raf argues. "I bet you could become an Autobot."

You stare at the innocent child before shaking your head. "You don't know me very well, Raf. You don't know what I've done. You don't know how I was on Cybertron."

"The past doesn't matter! It only matters who you are today!" Raf starts yelling. You stand up and glare at the small boy.

"You don't understand Raf. I killed bots for a living. Bots would tell stories of me to their sparkling to get me to behave. Everyone was terrified of me and my trine, except for the ones who didn't know what we did. My brother being one of them... he only found out when Megatron called me by my pseudonym... Spiriter."

You saw Bumblebee's optics widen in shock as he realized just who you were. You smile sadly at him.

"I'm guessing you never knew either..." you whisper softly.

Bee stares at you in shock and doesn't say anything to you for a while.

:You're Spiriter?: he whispers, pain filling his voice. You realized something was wrong almost immediately and you had a sinking suspicion as to what it was.

'No, no, no, please no... please don't let me have assassinated someone close to him...'

"Yes", your voice quieted to a whisper, and you stare at him in worry and fear.

:Spiriter killed my Sire and Carrier when I was only 8 earth years old.:

You stare at him in shock. "Bee, I'm so sorry... I was only paid to shoot, not ask questions... and I had no choice. My trine-"

Bee cut you off in anger. :I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!:

You stare at him, shaking in sadness. "Bee..." He only glares at you. You take a step back and then another before running to your cell, fighting back tears. Unfortunately, lubricant still ran from your optics, and you were unable to keep the sobs from wracking your body. You curled up on your berth, back to the wall, your wings drooping in sadness.

"Why does it hurt so much...?" you couldn't help but whisper to yourself. "If it was anyone else, I could've cared less... why do I care about him being upset with me so much...?"

There was no response as you rocked back and forth. You wished you could contact your brother. He would be able to comfort you... he would know what to say... oh, Primus, how you missed Starscream. You wished you could go back, but you were being held captive by the Autobots again. It was either this or death, and at that moment, you preferred this, since it meant you got to be with your favorite Autobot. But now... he hated you... you killed his parental units, for crying out loud, and... you didn't even know it until now... in your distant memory, you remember hearing the cries of child as you walked away from one of your kills. You remember tuning the cries out as you always did. Your sisters always said it was better. Then you wouldn't feel as much pain or guilt. Now, however, just seeing one bot upset with you for killing someone they loved, it brought the entire guilt raining down upon you.

Every life you remembered that you took brought another wrack of sobs to your body. Your tears were spent but there were still choked sobs coming from your body. At this moment, you wanted to die. You wanted to die in hopes it would be enough to wipe your slate clean. In hopes that the souls of the dead and living would be put to rest.

Why couldn't your trine have found some other work...? Why couldn't they have chosen to do something other than be assassinations for hire? You knew why, but you didn't want to admit it.

It was because that was all you were ever trained for. From little sparkling, your parents taught you how to fight, and how to defend yourself. You would've ended up in Kaon if they hadn't died in an accidental fire. Though you knew better than to call it accidental. You knew your trine sisters had started it. You didn't bother to double check your facts, your sisters were always like that. They hated your parents and often talked of killing them. And one day they did. You suspected you were supposed to be caught in the fire, but you had escaped. But only barely. Your sisters punished you for not dying in that fire by making you the one who did all the killing. They either watched for cops, or were snipers in case you couldn't do it.

And then they left you for dead after Cybertron went dark.

For a while, you were angry with them. But then you met Bumblebee and he took that anger out of you. He turned you into a kinder version of what you once had been. And now that he had yelled at you, you could tell that anger was returning, but not just for your sisters. No, it was for Megatron for starting this blasted war. It was for your parents, who taught you everything you know about fighting. It was for Megatron who killed your brothers. It was for your sisters, who turned you into a cold ruthless killer. And it was for yourself, for thinking you could be someone better.

You frown and wiped away any lubricant tracks on your face. You pushed all your emotions to the side and immediately walked out of your open cell. You found your weapons in a room not too far away, and started walking toward the main room. You didn't care who saw you. When you got to the main room, you saw everyone but the humans and Bumblebee. You glare at them.

"I'm leaving", you say simply. "And I dare you to try and stop me."

You pulled out your sword and walked over to the ground bridge controls, aiming the tip of your sword at Ratchet's neck cables. He almost immediately raises his hands up in surrender. You glare at him.

"Open a ground bridge to somewhere the Decepticons will be able to find me."

He nods and gets to work. You watched as he opens and ground bridge. You grin maliciously.

"Thank you very much for your hospitality. But I do believe I stayed for far too long."

You walk backwards to the ground bridge, your sword pointing to anyone who tries to stop you. However, you felt your spark lurch when you heard the voice you didn't want to hear.

:(N/N)?: Bumblebee asks.

"The name is (Y/N), bug!" you spit venemously, glaring at the yellow and black bot. His optics stare after you in sadness and you finally couldn't take it anymore, and turned and ran through the ground bridge. You heard someone follow you and instantly pressed the tip of your sword against their neck cables. When you glanced at them, you saw it was Bumblebee.

You glare at him. "Leave me be."

:(Y/N): he whispers. :Please...:

Your spark cracked at the sound of the pain in his voice and you sigh defeated. You turn away from him and put your sword back on your hip.

"Bumblebee, please... don't make me do this..."

:Do what?: he asked, confused. You shake your head.

"Please just leave me alone", you whisper... "It hurts... knowing that I hurt your family... and I don't want to do that again..."

Bee whirls in shock and tries to say something but you shake your head.

"NO, BEE!!" you yell, turning to face hi.. "I have to go back... I can't change who I am... and I am a Deception."

:No you're not! Well, okay, you are part of the Decepticon faction, but you are not like them! You are kind, and caring, and funny.:

Your spark breaks even more at that.

"Oh, why did you have to say that, Bug..." you whisper, looking towards the ground.

:Say what...?: he asks. You shake your head again before walking up close to him and staring him in the optics not even trying to hide any of your emotions anymore. You felt pain, sadness, anger, fear, worry, and most of all, love.

You had fallen in love with the Bug.
You had fallen in love with your best friend.
You had fallen in love with an Autobot.

"Oh, Bug, what am I going to do with you?" you whisper as you rest your head on his chest plate. He stiffens but doesn't move away and instead gently wraps his arms around you.

You pull away quickly, and was about to transform and fly away before pausing one second and then doing something irrational.

You turned.
You paused.

And then you kissed him on his mouth guard.

Leaping away, you transformed and flew into the clouds, hiding. You watched him quietly, and found him staring off in the direction you had disappeared. Your aerial form shook with sobs before you shot away, nearly breaking the sound barrier.

You couldn't believe what you just did. And you had no idea how Bumblebee felt either.

You quietly sobbed to yourself as you flew in the direction your navigator told you the warship was in.

After several hours of flying, and you calming down, the warship came into sight. And on the flight deck was a lone figure with a similar form to your own. You couldn't help but feel relieved at the sight of your brother.

You transformed mid-air and landed on the flight deck, a few feet behind Starscream. He jumped and turned around, his optics widening at the sight of you.

"(Y/N)," he whispered. "We all thought you were dead. I thought I had yet another sibling to avenge."

You chuckle softly. "Not so, my dear brother. I am alive and well."

"I can see that. But, do explain to me where you have been this past month."

You sigh softly. "Autobots... they found my signal, and took me captive again. They always seem to have the worst timing, since you always think me dead when I am a prisoner of theirs."

Starscream watches you carefully, pondering something. "Something seems different about you, dear sister", he murmurs. You roll your eyes.

"I just spent a month with the Autobots, of course I'll seem a little different for a little bit. Just let me pull my inner Decepticon out."

Starscream chuckles. "You're still the sarcastic femme I know."

You smile weakly, though it goes unnoticed by Starscream. He starts rambling on about something but you didn't hear a word he said. All you could think about was your parting with Bumblebee.