Kai's Pov

I slowly walked away towards the kitchen trying to hide the evidence. Thinking blankly at what I was doing. I didn't realize I was standing still staring into nothing, until I heard someone call my name.
"Wha?.." I looked up and saw Jay and Cole looking at me weirdly and sending glances at each other.
"Are..Are you okay?" Jay spoke first. I suddenly tensed up and clutched the blade that was hiding in my hand behind me.
"Kai, you're trembling" Cole stated.
"Just.. leave me alone..right now". I choked out, stepping back. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see them share one look against then back away slowly before turning away out of the room, leaving me alone in a quiet state. Finally. I thought. I walked over towards the sink and washing the blade. The warm water stung my skin a bit but, ignoring it, I kept going. After making sure it was completely clean I went over to one of the couches and just plopped myself onto it. I laid there for at least an hour or even more, thinking. My thoughts, filled with so many things made me feel sick. I didn't want to think anymore but it was so difficult knowing Lloyd wants to...No. I can't bare to think about that. I let out a long sigh. I felt a pang in my chest. It was like sadness is consuming my whole body. I felt numb and cold. I sat up on the couch and hugged my knees. Knowing that Lloyd is filled to the brink of pain. It hurts me knowing that he is in such pain. 'Lloyd needs me. I'm going to be there for him.' I thought, determined and I got up, starting to head towards my room. 'I should probably get some things for him though.' I thought.
It wasn't long until I saw someone of course. Or, two people. Cole and Jay were in the hallway whispering things to each other. When they noticed me they immediately stopped. We stared at each other for a moment. No words for spoken, the air was thick and awkward.
"Hey...buddy. How are you doing?" Jay spoke, he tried being cheerful but his voice was also laced with concern.
"Yeah, we were wondering if you were doing anything?" Cole spoke right after. Their eyes flickered from me to each other.
"I'm fine." I said quietly and started walking. But before I could make it past them Cole grabbed my arm tightly and made me face them. "What do you want?" My voice came out a little too harsh. They both flinched, taking another moment before speaking.
"Kai...we're not idiots. We can tell something is up and...we want to help." Cole spoke, looking at me with a determined face to get an answer. 'No matter how determined he is, he's never going to get an answer from me.' I thought. I don't want to tell them about Lloyd because what if he gets mad at me? I just stood there. Starring blankly at them.
"Kai. You can't just say nothing! You're worrying us." Jay spoke this time. An equal determined look on his face. I still didn't speak a word. I took a step back but Cole quickly grabbed me again.
"Kai please. Say something!" His voice shook slightly. I let out a sigh and shook my head.
"Leave me alone." Was all I said before shaking my arm away and turning around, walking away. I could feel their eyes starring at me but I didn't let that bother me. I don't know why I did that but I didn't want to talk to any of them except for Lloyd. I shook my head once I turned the corner, out of their sight. The silence wasn't any better though. My thoughts buzzed around me. It almost felt suffocating. As I continued walking to my room I kept thinking if Lloyd was awake or not. My worried thoughts made my stomach ache.
"I hope he's okay..." I whispered to myself. As I reached my door I quickly opened it and almost ran inside. I grabbed a few things and scanned the room just in case I was missing anything. Then I left my room, heading towards Lloyd's room. My gaze stayed on the ground the whole time I walked to his room. I clutched the things I was holding tightly. If I didn't look up I would've crashed into his door. I took a deep breath before opening his door.