I Will Always Love You Chapter: 91

Michael POV

May 20, 1975

The day that everything fell apart for me, was the day that everything took off for Bina. It turns out that Stevie Wonder was in the audience of the comedy club the night that Bina opened. He heard her sing and invited her to lay down some tracks, then asked her to be a part of Wonderlove. He decided that he wanted to take her on tour and groom her like his prodigy. I heard him say that it was like listening to legend. I've never heard her sing, but she must be really good for Stevie to take notice like that.

I wish that I could have seen Bina that night although my mother came back home. I was so happy that she was back, but I wish I could have been a part of that discovery with Stevie; to support her and give her advice, show her the ropes. When I think about it, I just fill with regret and hurt.

I have been lost in thought since I had this day off. To avoid my current state, I have filled these past nine months with work, staying later and later at the studio, practicing and developing new choreography, and writing new material. That's all I know to do to not be in constant pain. When I look out of my window, memories of her lilting voice and laughter flow from her balcony along with that warm soft light from her room. When I look at the constellations I remember when I brought her to my roof, and told her about the star, Mu Cephei, even though I was really trying to tell her about my parents. When I walk in the backyard, memories of the last time she was within reach, the last time I had her trust... And then I remember trying to get her back. I tried to explain to her that I was lying in that conversation; that I had to lie to keep “us" a secret so that my father wouldn't find out. I tried to explain that I wanted to maintain our privacy. But she told me that it was unacceptable; that she would not be anyone's dirty secret. I failed to be someone that she could depend upon- and the nasty things that I said...they haunt me. I could do nothing but respect her decision, and respect her request that I give her time and space. So, consequently, these past months I've seen only snatches of her, indications of her presence, and since the new year, she hasn't been back home from Stevie's “Fulfullingness' First Finale" tour. When we did speak, it was briefly and there was no camaraderie left between us; no friendly comfort. I wonder how she's doing; if she's learning everything that she wanted to; if she's asking questions like she did when we were in my studio at the party last year. If she is, then I know that Stevie loves it. I wonder if she's scared, or happy, or overwhelmed. She's probably in her element. I wonder if Stevie's got her back because I know how some men on the road can be. And if I find out that they did anything to her...  Ahh... I just hope she's having a good time. I guess that's all I'm allowed to hope for -

Music broke my chain of thought. Good music. Music I started jamming to, but then I realized it was mine. I looked out of my window and my breath was caught. There she was, with her balcony door open, blasting “All I Do Is Think Of You" and it looked like she was singing along. Our “Moving Violation" album just dropped on the 14th, and I thought to myself,

Wow, she still bought my album.

I then opened the window to see if I could finally hear her voice.

I keep thinking about you

All night long

Ooooooh

“Crap!" She said. She messed up the riff that I do on the “ooh", but she sounded like a masterpiece. Soft and strong at the same time. Lilting and fiery. As she sang, emotions bubbled inside of me to the point where I felt that I could fly over to her and take her in my arms. But then I had to remember where I stood with her, and I settled again. I watched her as she picked the stylus up, and set it further back on the song.

All night long

Ooooooh

“Darn it!" She messed it up again. I tried to cover my mouth, but her frustration was so hilarious. I knew that it would echo over to her but I couldn't hold it in, and my laughter filled the silence that came once she picked up the stylus to try again. She must have heard me because she looked right at my window. Since I was already caught, I decided to wave. She laughed at herself, waved back, and then yelled,

“I keep messing this part up!"

“I can hear that!" I replied. She stuck her tongue out at me and I smiled at her. That simple gesture warmed me because it harkened back to when we were good friends. It showed that there could be a possibility for us to be friends again, and I held on to the moment in my mind. She said,

“Get your walkie talkie!" I almost tripped over my feet trying to get to my bin to turn it on. The red light flickered a bit and I knew I would have to change the batteries soon. Suddenly, I heard the crackling - a sound that I had wished to hear hundreds of times. I had considered calling her hundreds of times - holding it in my hand, clicking it on and off - but each time, I decided against it. Her voice came through saying,

“Now how do you do that riff?"

“I can do it for you, but I don't know how clear it would be."

“We have a show tonight at the club. It's good. We have Bill Cosby. If I see you, you can teach me there." I wanted to tell her that her timing was impeccable with that invitation. That I was just wishing to see her in person. But I just said,

“That sounds great."

“Alright, gotta go!"

“Ok, I'll talk to you soon..." I said, sort of asking to test the water.

“Sure," she smiled and then said, “bye!"

“Bye!" I watched as she waved and walked back inside. I kept thinking,

Did this really just happen?

I was going to that show tonight and nobody was going to stop me. I'm going to make things right.