tyler shuffled and opened his eyes. he looked over and saw josh all spread out, the blankets all over him. josh was a rough sleeper.

tyler sighed. he got up and went to the bathroom. he looked in the mirror, seeing his tired eyes. he didn't sleep much last night.

he peed washed his hands and brushed his teeth, before heading back out. josh was in the same position, except his eyes were open now.

"morning." tyler said, grabbing his juul and taking a big hit.

"mornin." josh groaned back. tyler nodded and threw his juul back on the bed, before walking downstairs without another word.

josh just groaned again, ignoring the odd behavior and focusing more on his pounding head.

tyler poured himself a mug of coffee, putting some creamer in it and sitting down at the bar on the stool. he stared as he drank it.

"morning. want breakfast?" kelly asked, once she walked in to the kitchen.

"nah i'm good." he said, taking a sip.

"where's josh? he want something?" she said.

"still asleep." he answered.

"ah. well i work today. i'll be back later. pizza for dinner." she said, coming by and kissing his cheek. he let out a soft smile, but quickly lost it.

he sighed again, finishing his coffee and putting his cup in the sink. he walked back upstairs. josh was passed out again.

tyler laid down on his bed, grabbing his phone. he texted brendon.

t: i need your help.
t: i think i might've fucked up

he sent the texts, before looking over at the sleeping boy.

b: what the fuck did you do tyler
b: did you cheat on josh again?

t: no
t: can i come over

b: is he not at your house?

t: he is. can i come over

b: i guess

"josh." tyler softly shook the boys shoulder. he woke up and looked at him, smiling.

"what's up?" josh asked.

"i gotta. i gotta go do something. you can stay here or i can take you home?" josh asked.

"i'll stay." he said, closing his eyes back. tyler hesitated, but nodded.

he grabbed his stuff, before leaving his room and heading downstairs. he left before anyone could talk to him.

tyler climbed in his truck, and drove to brendons.

he got out, making his way to the door and walking in. brendon was in the kitchen.

"hey man, what's up?" brendon said, pouring the milk in his cereal.

"i don't think i love josh." tyler blurted out, tears finally spilling out of his eyes. brendon dropped the milk, spilling it all over the ground.

"shit. shit." brendon said, picking it up. he went to clean it but stopped and looked at tyler.

"what do you mean?" brendon said, furrowing his brows.

"i-i i-"

"hang on. go to my fucking room. i gotta clean this shit up." brendon said. tyler nodded and started walking. "fuck." brendon grumbled.

he cleaned up the mess, before following tyler up to his room. when he walked in, tyler was laying on his bed, staring straight at the wall.

"okay. talk. what do you mean you don't think you love him?" brendon asked, walking to the bed.

"w-well he..he called me last night to pick him up from here,"

"yeah yeah. he texted me." brendon nodded.

"yeah, well i came and got him. and he was super drunk. well i took him to my house and we talked for a while. well he said he was going to bed. a-and he. he told me he l-loved me." tyler said.

"he was drunk." brendon said.

"i know, i know but. but when he said it i felt all weird. like- i got this feeling of like, panic." tyler stuttered out.

"a feeling of panic?" brendon asked.

"yeah. yeah like, like that's such an important thing and i just- i'm scared i don't know i-i like where we're at a-and i don't wanna lose it." tyler said.

"ty it sounds like you're scared of commitment." brendon said.

"i-i-i don't know what that means." tyler said.

"you're scared of commitment. you're scared of being tied down to one person, and to be with that person the rest of your life. it's a normal thing. i promise." brendon said, rubbing tylers shoulder.

"so...so i do love josh?" tyler asked.

"well i can't say for sure. but if that's the reason you think you don't, then yeah. you just heard those words and you're brains first thought is to run. you've never had a serious relationship until now. of course you're gonna be scared." brendon said.

"well. w-well how do i not feel scared?" tyler asked.

"you admit that you're scared. and that you don't really know what you're doing. but you remember that this is what you want. you want josh, don't you?" brendon asked.

"y-yeah." tyler nodded.

"yeah. you want him. and he obviously wants you. so what's the problem with that?" brendon asked.

"i don't. i don't guess there is one."

"exactly. i get it that you're scared. you're scared of getting hurt, or used or whatever. but, and i say this with all honesty, josh is not gonna hurt you. josh isn't gonna cheat on you or ditch you or whatever. that boy is in love with you. and you are too." brendon said.

"yeah. yeah. i'm in love. i'm terrified. so fucking terrified." he smiled. "but i'm in love." he said.

"damn right you are. now bitch. let me eat my fucking cereal. you scared the shit out of me. thought you cheated and blew things again." brendon said, picking up his bowl from his nightstand.

"sorry. yeah sorry." he chuckled. "thanks man."

"no problem." he smiled.

"alright. josh is still passed out at my house. i better head back." he said.

"ryan's passed out here somewhere. ima be honest. i don't really know where." brendon shrugged. "i gotta find him before my parents get home."

"good luck with that." tyler laughed, bro shaking him. "see you later."

"bye man. tell josh i said hey." brendon said. tyler left, taking a hit from his juul as he got in his truck and drove back to his house.

he walked inside, and headed straight up to his room. he walked in, josh screaming slightly and turning his head real fast towards the door.

"josh! what are you doing?!" tyler laughed.

"what?! i'm not doing anything!" he said, but smiled. tylers closet door was open, and josh had an arm full of hoodies and shirts.

"stop taking all my clothes!" tyler said, grabbing the stuff back and putting it up. josh started whining.

"pleaseeeee." he whined.

"no! i have to wear clothes too." tyler said.

"i wish you wouldn't." josh frowned, but let out a small smile.

"oh shut your mouth. bitch." tyler said, josh giggling.

tyler smiled, looking at the boy. what was he so scared of? it's like the big ball of nerves he was feeling in his stomach just vanished.

he had nothing to be scared of

A/N: this book has gone to shit and i'm so sorry.