Jacob

Seeing her turn around and go sit in the car made me feel like a jackass. She couldn't find me and Paola because we weren't trying to be found. I love Leena but it isn't the same anymore. It hasn't been for a while now. In the beginning everything was great. But whenever I wanted more from her she'd turn me down. I couldn't deal with that. I had needs that needed to be taken care of.

I don't know why I never just broke it off with her. I like having her around but I don't love her the way she should be loved. How do I tell her that I fell in love with her best friend. That me and her best friend have been secretly dating for almost six months now. That me and her best friend had sex, before I laid down next to her. That her best friend is also in love with me. But it wasn't supposed to be this way.

Before Paola and I started messing around I did try. I tried so hard to learn to love Leena again. I tried to be the boyfriend she needed. And I've accomplished but I can't hide it that well anymore. I can't lie to her anymore. I can't say I love you. I do miss her but I don't have love for her in the way a guy should love his girl. I just love her as a good friend. It's like our relationship had turned into one you'd have with your best friend. Just some benefits included. But not in her eyes.

In her eyes she thinks we are good. In her eyes I am the best boyfriend ever. In her eyes I wouldn't do that to her. In her eyes Paola would never do that to her. In her eyes we are all just friends who hang out together. In her eyes we were her favorite people. In her innocent eyes we would never hook up behind her back. In her innocent eyes she believes our love would save this relationship. In her innocent eyes this long distance relationship was supposed to work. But I can't do this anymore. And I don't know how much longer I can fake it. But I can't do it for much longer because it'll only hurt her more.

I looked at Paola and she looked at me with a frown. We both got into the car and I drove to Leena's house. Leena went straight into her room and closed the door. I pulled Paola into the hall, outside of Leena's apartment. "I can't do this anymore Paola. I can't hide it. I can't keep hurting her like this." I whispered to her. Her eyes went wide, "Not yet Jacob. I can't do this in person; she will already hate me. Let me enjoy these last few hours with her." I shook my head and sighed, "I'll give you today but I'm coming next weekend to talk to her." With that I turned away and went into the apartment.