*realizes I never put a trigger warning on here a year after writing it* OH NO
Anyway
Trigger warning: self-harm/cutting

"Um, Connie? Are you okay?"

Crap I wasn't listening. I was thinking about the previous day's events. Dang, what do I say now? Ughhh!

"Um, yeah! I'm fine! Totally okay! Why were you asking?"

"Well you just seemed kinda distant..."

"I'm totally okay, Steven. Don't worry about me. Tell me about your recent missions!" Am I being too enthusiastic? Ugh, I'm so obvious. I need to take acting classes or something.

"Oh, they've been fine, I guess. Just... Ever since the ship crashed here, I've been really worried about the gems. They seem way more anxious then usual, and I'm always worried about them getting hurt.

Oh, Steven. There's a reason I like you. There's a reason you're my best friend. Ever since the day we met, you've been so caring and nice.

Or at least that's what I wanted to say. Instead I say:

"That's really sad. Steven, you really have a lot to deal with every day. You deserve a break." I deserve one too.

" I think you deserve one too. School sounds hard."

You have no idea. "Well, yeah, it's a little work."

"Well that settles it! We're going to the Arcade!"

Hardly the break I was looking for...

Time skip cuz author is lazy. Connie is home now. It's about midnight and her parents are long asleep.

I think about breaks. I think about my anxiety. I think about my depression. It was so hard to hide it from Steven. I think and think and think.

I need a break.

How does one get such a break?

I remember when my mom had that you're-getting-old-this-is-important-for-when-you're-a-teenager talk. Not that talk. One about depression and self harm and suicide, stuff like that. But since when does her advice actually help? She had no idea what I went through.

I brought a blade to my skin that night.

Anyway so I decided to start using italics for her thoughts now because I make random decisions like that. I know that ending got a little predictable. Anyway, I'm just going to tell you that this isn't going to be one of this fluffy stories where the main characters has depression and their love interest finds out and then they say something fake like, " I love you and you are never going to cut yourself again." Then the depressed person is like "okay let's live in a rainbow marshmallow cotton candy meadow where we can sit and eat ice cream all day :D" like depression doesn't work like that so please stop writing like that. Sorry.

Baiiii