I've never thought a compliment could hurt
You look good
They'd say
Have you lost weight?
They'd say
Yes I've lost weight, yes I might look great, yes

But I wish I'd look like hell
Just so they can see what's going on inside me
How tired I am if this god forsaken life
Let them see how I suffer
So I won't need to smile and nod
Thank them and move on
While they rip out my scars and remind me of the reason this began

Another pill
The small one before you eat and the other one after
Remind yourself again and again how abnormal your inner workings are
You are only waiting on the black pill of doom so you can die in peace
But can you ever really die in peace?

You need to be brave enough to live
Doctors expect you to want to live
If not there must be something wrong with you
Because life is beautiful right?

I liked life
I promise I did
But after slowly giving up on joy because it exhausts you, makes you sicker
It becomes......
A burden

So thank you
I do look good
Look at me tomorrow and ask yourself it is the same
While I lay in the darkness of my room
Wishing I looked like hell