I hope I cut myself shaving

I hope I accidentally stub my toe

I hope I lose a fight

I hope the black eye doesn't heal

It doesn't matter 

I already cannot see the light 

I hope I forget how to swim 

I hope I am thrown around by the waves

I hope I forget how to write

I hope I lose the words of poetry

I already am hopelessly unrealistic 

So let me be realistic

Let me be frank

Let me hang on the noose life has tied for me

Let me die in peace and suffering 

Suffocating on the dreams I hope I didn't have 

Praying to a god I never believed in

Legs blowing back and forth in the wind

It reminds me of the swings we had

Blowing in the cold winds of thewinter

Waiting for a kid not to abandon them

A swing is fun, untill you get naseous

Death might be fun, till you get bored 

I will be unrealistic for the time being

Let me tell you I am not leaving forever

That by dying I'll get better

That it means I'll come home 

But lying to you doesn't seem fair

Dying to you doesn't seem fair